DH Attachment?

FancyFrenchie

Does anybody feel that they've done a great job at being attached to their LO, but because of how attached they are, DH hasn't been able to get so attached?

I feel like this is a bit our case. I BF, we co-slept, I am almost always there for my LO, whereas my DH is more likely to go out and do things without LO, and I feel at this point (18 months), that since LO is so used to me meeting his needs, that he doesn't go to DH and sometimes pushes him away. This therefore causes DH to get frustrated and not to want to try anymore... I've left them together and they'll do fine, but if it's between DH and me, it's always me.

ncbelle

I think all kids go through parent preference stages.  That said, I would have DH make a point to do special things with kiddo - like bedtime routine or going places.  DH is just as much a parent as you and should be taking LO out just as much as you!

FancyFrenchie

Thanks for the tips. Since I work FT, I try to spend as much time as possible with DS outside of work. I have been trying to get back into exercise, so at least the times when I'll go to the gym, I'm going to leave the two of them together to figure things out. My DH just gets so frustrated with the whining and when he can't quickly figure out what's wrong. He'll just have to learn!

rosiemomma

My daughter went through this stage she  would only let me help her with anything, Daddy still offered but we tried not to pressure her too much. I honestly thought exactly what you did that it was my fault but I realized it wasn't because now she is the opposite she only wants daddy to help her and if we are all going somewhere she often says "mommy stay home" so she can hang out alone with dad. I now am reassured it wasn't abnormal for her (or any kid) to have a preference for a parent, trust me you will be sad when he gains a preference for dad!

GHBEA

You have to have DH take over some parenting duties.  Bath time, bed time, on one one play time, going out to the store.  I just told DH how to be involved and he took on that role.  A lot of guys just do not know what to do.  You have to guide them but remember they may do it differently then you but as long as it is getting done let him do it his way.  It will make him proud.

jsugrin

If my kids have to choose between myself and DH it's about 90% me, but the reality is it's not because of AP it's because I'm the primary caregiver.  My husband has also be very active as an AP parent, at this stage he often sleeps in the room with the boys with me all alone in my bed (awesome at this point), from day 1 he has always gotten up at 6am with DS #1 while that was my sleep time and DH has done 75% of bath and bed routines since the age of 9 months with each boy.  So really, really involved right.  Still the mornings look like this, DH gets up with boys and does breakfast, boys place all nicely together, then I get up and boys start fighting, climbing all over me, trying to push each other off my lap.

All of that to say, I think it's just normal.  They will develop their own bond and I bet that over the years it will fluctuate whom the kids are most attached to.