Labor and a Toddler...

yourmomwreckedmybike

I am due in 2 weeks with #2, my son is 1y9m. We are planning on having #2 at the hospital. 

I'm wondering what type of advice/articles you can give me about what to with LO#1, or how to prepare him.... I don't have an issue with him being at the hospital.. but I mean, he gets pretty upset when I just stub my toe.

My husband thinks that he will be fine because someone can always take him out for a walk. My mom and MIL will be at the hospital too.

Any advice or experiences you can share?  

ncbelle

Honestly, I wouldn't have him at the hospital at all until after baby is born.  He's going to have no fun just hanging out in a waiting room (not to mention hospitals are uber germy!) and you are going to want to focus on your labor.  I'd have the grandmas take him somewhere fun to pass the time or have him at home to sleep if it's nighttime.  At his age, I think it will be less confusing if he isn't there at all vs. being taken out when it's go time.

We had a friend keep Callum while we were at the birth center.  They would have been fine with him being at the birth but I didn't want him to be scared nor did I want to worry about him being scared or upset while I was in labor.  

Of course once baby has arrived, bring big brother on in to say hello!

katiewhompus

Before you get too concerned check hospital policy. Ours did not allow anyone under 18 in L/D (unless you were giving birth and under 18)

jshf

I just had DS2 and I agree with pp that it is probably too much to have DS1there. Labor can be hours. If u r having lots of pain you probably don't want to be focusing on your child but on coping with labor. Plus it's a pretty gruesome mess! If u really want LO there I definitely would talk to the doctor/hospital. I was allowed only 2 support people. Bring lots of activities to occupy him, snacks, drinks. Also see if there is a place for LO to sleep. What I did with DS1 is he visited me at the hospital the next day. We spent about 10 min alone and then brought in DS2 and Introduced him. It was a very nice bonding experience. Well GL with whatever you choose!

bh2720

why would you have him at the hospital while you are in labor? definitely ask either your mom or MIL to babysit for him at home.

yourmomwreckedmybike

i should have clarfied this in my original post... its my husband who thinks bringing him to the hospital is going to be fine. i personally think its a bad idea. you ladies have given me some helpful info aon explaining why its not a good idea.  thhanks!

bugsmami

I guess I will be the odd one out here, but DS1 was with us the entire time at the hospital and did awesome. I did nothing to prepare him (as far as watching videos, etc) for the birth part. He basically just stayed with DH (which meant I didn't have a close support person other than the nurse and midwife). DH just 'yelled' his support from the across the room. Granted, I labored at home (in the middle of the night, so DS was asleep) and arrived at the hospital in time to push, so we didn't have too much choice. I was already pushing by the time the ILs came, and DH didn't want to leave to let them have DS in case he would miss DS2's birth. DS really knew more than I thought about what was going on... He woke up at midnight (about the time I was sure that the cntxs were real and kind of close), and cried out for me (he usually just comes to our room on his own). DH went to get him, and as they were coming into the room, he said "He's coming. He's coming!" A few times during the delivery DH had to distract DS, but he never (that I know of) cried or anything. I think there was enough action going on and that helped, too. During the stay, he stayed with us, but my mom kept him entertained so we could recover. So, you will definitely want someone who can help you with him besides your DH if at all possible! And, I could of used DH next to me (and someone in the room to take care of DS), but I didn't know I was that close when we got there and I'm glad DS got to "share" in the birth of his baby brother.

Mrs.Teddy

I agree that its not a very good idea. At our hospital its against policy, no one under 14 is allowed in the delivery room or in during labour at all. I think it would be best for him to stay home and come up right before or at delivery or even better after, and meet his new sibling.

I think it could be very confusing for him and distracting for you.

JoannaJes

yourmomwreckedmybike:

i should have clarfied this in my original post... its my husband who thinks bringing him to the hospital is going to be fine. i personally think its a bad idea. you ladies have given me some helpful info aon explaining why its not a good idea.  thhanks!

What is your H's reasons for bringing your son?

And in the end, how would this set up benefit your son at all?

daisyterp

I have a friend who has a DD about the age of your DS, and her labor progressed very rapidly and her DD was up at the head of the bed when she had her DS. 

It's not how they planned, but it was fine and the mom said it ended up being pretty cool.