I am TTC...unsure about my husband

baby olsey

Last year, it seemed that my husband couldn't wait for me to remove my IUD. Now that I have he is too tired, too distracted, too whatever to make love.

Last year, I did lots of baby research( costs, hospitals, doctors, preschools,etc,) while he sit with rolling eyes. Even though I printed and talked about all my research it seems like he was deaf, blind, and illiterate. Last week, he asked about our hospitals LD unit.

I hear how much sex other couples have and are still unable to conceive, it worries me that we are not doing more. We only try twice a month!

Any suggestions?!!

Dr.Loretta

Um, talk to him.

You may have overwhelmed him with information. While finding out about preschools or hospital facilities may be important to YOU, for him it may be jumping the gun. A lot. He may feel pressured to perform instead of having sex like you used to and seeing how things happen. He may be uncomfortable talking about things, and just wants to go with the flow. He may wonder where his laid-back wife went now that she's reseraching things that aren't even on his radar.

And men think about conception, pregnancy, and kids differently. It's still quite an abstract concept to them, since they're not actually carrying a child.

And it probably doesn't help that you consider him deaf, blind, and illiterate. If you've conveyed that in any way, even by body language, he's going to get defensive.

I'd talk to him about his concerns and why he seems to be not as into it as he was last year. Let him talk, don't judge, and see how it works out.

GL

baby olsey

Thank you, for your honest reply. I am going to act on your advice and go with the flow more instead of planning everything.

mccaulley

I would have a sit down with him and try to pin point what's going on. I know that it can sometimes be difficult, but that's what relationships are all about, honesty. And conceiving a child is a huge step, maybe he's scared?  I know that my husband and I are ttc and it's a bit scary but it's something that we want to do together. I hope you all can communicate with one another and figure out where you both stand. Good luck!