Is anyone else taking a month off after baby

LittleMissLulu

Just wondering if anyone else is taking a month off after the baby is born from their, well, wifely duties? My husband was rather appalled when I mentioned taking some time off from wifely duties and asked that we work those 4 weeks I want off into our schedule before the baby is born. I think he's being a bit unfair because, really? I shouldn't have to go down on him right after having our first baby. We're going to be busy....But he thinks that I should just suck it up, so to speak. 

 

Is anyone else taking some time off? I feel like such a *** of a wife right now. We keep a pretty tight schedule of my wifely duties and I just hate to change the schedule 

tara430

I actually I promised I would START my wifely duties the day the baby is born and not stop until he/she is in college. 

theseaword

Why? I'm confused. I like those things as much as DH, and would never look at them as a wifely "duty". I'm sure he's really psyched to know how much of a chore it is for you, and that you're planning a "vacation" from it. I would be hurt if I was your DH too. 

Now, if I'm sick or in pain, that may change. But that's a given for both of us, birth or not. 

theseaword

theresat858:

Um, you generally aren't allowed to have sex for 4-6 weeks after birth, and will be bleeding for a while. 

Your husband has a hand if he can't handle not getting any.

I think she's talking about BJs. I think sex is medically off the menu for all of us.  

LittleMissLulu

TwilightMV:

Why? I'm confused. I like those things as much as DH, and would never look at them as a wifely "duty". I'm sure he's really psyched to know how much of a chore it is for you, and that you're planning a "vacation" from it. I would be hurt if I was your DH too. 

Now, if I'm sick or in pain, that may change. But that's a given for both of us, birth or not. 

Not sex. Blow jobs. I don't like them but he does, so we keep a schedule (once a week + holidays) and we stick to it. I guess I don't feel like I should have to suck his *** right after giving birth 

bellelamb

LittleMissLulu:

TwilightMV:

Why? I'm confused. I like those things as much as DH, and would never look at them as a wifely "duty". I'm sure he's really psyched to know how much of a chore it is for you, and that you're planning a "vacation" from it. I would be hurt if I was your DH too. 

Now, if I'm sick or in pain, that may change. But that's a given for both of us, birth or not. 

Well I hate them so my dh only gets them like once a year so your already a better wife than me. Dh also understands why I'm not a fan I'm sorry but I think they are gross that's where pee comes from. I hate to tell you and your dh after your first baby is born you may not have the time or energy for a real kiss every day littlelone any kind of sexy time for a month. I also know for me when I'm bfing I don't want any other kind of physical touch it is just too much for me to handle any thing else at first. 

 

Not sex. Blow jobs. I don't like them but he does, so we keep a schedule (once a week + holidays) and we stick to it. I guess I don't feel like I should have to suck his *** right after giving birth 

theseaword

LittleMissLulu:

TwilightMV:

Why? I'm confused. I like those things as much as DH, and would never look at them as a wifely "duty". I'm sure he's really psyched to know how much of a chore it is for you, and that you're planning a "vacation" from it. I would be hurt if I was your DH too. 

Now, if I'm sick or in pain, that may change. But that's a given for both of us, birth or not. 

 

Not sex. Blow jobs. I don't like them but he does, so we keep a schedule (once a week + holidays) and we stick to it. I guess I don't feel like I should have to suck his *** right after giving birth 

Honestly, I think if you hate it that much, you shouldn't have to do it at all. I couldn't enjoy something knowing my husband felt it was his "duty".  I think taking advantage of the birth to get some time off is just a temporary break from a larger issue.  As I said, I like those things, but if it's not your bag, find some other way to mess around that you do like. And he should respect that. 

Laur156

A month and some, if I need it! I'm assuming you're talking about good ol' s-e-x. As far as I'm concerned there is a perfectly good bathroom with lotion and magazines and all sorts of goodies... go have fun. As far as "going down on him".... water makes me gag right now, so even thinking of that as a possibility, although its months away, makes my stomach turn! 

I'm planning on being sore, tired, moody, and not feeling like myself for a few weeks. Plus, (and I know people do it sooner) aren't you supposed to wait for your Dr. to clear you at your 6 week check?  Or at least that is what's recomended. Just tell him the 6 week "rule" applies to all kinds of sex  

I'm so glad my husband is so understanding! We'll see what kind of deals he tries to make after a few weeks of going solo.  

 

octwed07

lol, you have a schedule on it?  haha yikes! 

jsillyfun

Geez. I hope he returns the favor. Whatadouche...

kellyblowers77

If my husband told me I had a "schedule" to abide by, i'd tell him to go kick rocks!

erbear

TwilightMV:

Why? I'm confused. I like those things as much as DH, and would never look at them as a wifely "duty". I'm sure he's really psyched to know how much of a chore it is for you, and that you're planning a "vacation" from it. I would be hurt if I was your DH too. 

Now, if I'm sick or in pain, that may change. But that's a given for both of us, birth or not. 

LOL.

I can almost guarantee that a BJ is just about the last thing you will feel like doing 3 weeks PP.

OP: do you have a schedule for him to go down on you too?

reinedecajun

He has a hand don't he? I'd tell him nicely to get over himself and hand him the lotion bottle and a few magazines.

As far as scheduling "wifely duties" that would be a tradition i'd have to get rid of ASAP! GEEZ

Sawyerplus1

LittleMissLulu:

TwilightMV:

Why? I'm confused. I like those things as much as DH, and would never look at them as a wifely "duty". I'm sure he's really psyched to know how much of a chore it is for you, and that you're planning a "vacation" from it. I would be hurt if I was your DH too. 

Now, if I'm sick or in pain, that may change. But that's a given for both of us, birth or not. 

 

Not sex. Blow jobs. I don't like them but he does, so we keep a schedule (once a week + holidays) and we stick to it. I guess I don't feel like I should have to suck his *** right after giving birth 

Goodness sakes, a BJ schedule?! Sounds fun....

I'd be open with your DH and make  sure he's open to the fact that you really truly may not be up for it after LO arrives. Having a newborn, especially the 1st, is exhausting. More than you can imagine. If your DH gives you a hard time about not being able to "keep up with your duties" for the month after LO arrives, then I'd suggest you have deeper issues in your marriage.  

SWBs Wifey

My DH got ZERO lovin' from me until 8 weeks post partum.  We didn't even try before then.  And he didn't ask.  He knew better.  I'd have chewed his head off.  For one- I wasn't about to try at all before I'd gotten an all-clear from my midwife.  And then it was a matter of "Dude, just so you know, this is pretty much going to be really scary because we have no idea how my body has changed since before, so we need to go SUPER slow and not force anything... if I'm not in the mood or too damn tired from being up with your newborn son all night and day for the last 6 weeks, you can have fun with yourself and I won't fault you for it.  I give you my blessing and I look forward to our lovin' at a later date."

nicwilk83

That would not fly in my house.  I am in control.  To be honest since being pregnant my husband is lucky if he gets laid once a month.  I had really bad morning sickness at the beginning and then I have been sick on and off since then.  So me being in the mood just doesn't happen.  Then after the baby comes he will be lucky if he gets anything when I am cleared to have sex.  My husband is not selfish at all and understands.

surprise3rd

If my DH told me I had to stick to a BJ schedule, I think I would be kicking him out the door.  I understand couples scheduling good old fashioned sex, but I hate BJ's so he is lucky to get 2-3 a year.  Once a week and on holidays....wow.

That being said...you will not be up for BJ's post partum, you will be exhausted and overwhelmed, and your husbands sexual needs will be the farthest thing from your mind.

AprilAngie

theresat858:

Um, you generally aren't allowed to have sex for 4-6 weeks after birth, and will be bleeding for a while. 

Your husband has a hand if he can't handle not getting any.

'

 

this is exactly!!!!!!!!!!!! 

AprilAngie

LittleMissLulu:

TwilightMV:

Why? I'm confused. I like those things as much as DH, and would never look at them as a wifely "duty". I'm sure he's really psyched to know how much of a chore it is for you, and that you're planning a "vacation" from it. I would be hurt if I was your DH too. 

Now, if I'm sick or in pain, that may change. But that's a given for both of us, birth or not. 

 

Not sex. Blow jobs. I don't like them but he does, so we keep a schedule (once a week + holidays) and we stick to it. I guess I don't feel like I should have to suck his *** right after giving birth 

 

Your  abetter wife than I - I would never have a schedule for a BJ.. sorry NMS

AprilAngie

octwed07:

lol, you have a schedule on it?  haha yikes! 

 

roflmao I thought this too- and you DON'T like it?  

jonesdouglas

*BLANK STARE*

mrsjengle

This post is chalked full of funny. BJ schedules, the wife who never considers anything in the bedroom to be a "duty" (must be a honeymooner and people who say if you don't like it never do it. If I followed any of that advice consistently, I'd be divorced!

mrs.dovey

mrsjengle:

This post is chalked full of funny. BJ schedules, the wife who never considers anything in the bedroom to be a "duty" (must be a honeymooner and people who say if you don't like it never do it. If I followed any of that advice consistently, I'd be divorced!

Hmm. Maybe you should be then. DH loves BH's and hasn't received one in 7 years. I am not doing something I have no interest in doing. My H and I have other ways of enjoying each others company.

amy5162

LittleMissLulu:

TwilightMV:

Why? I'm confused. I like those things as much as DH, and would never look at them as a wifely "duty". I'm sure he's really psyched to know how much of a chore it is for you, and that you're planning a "vacation" from it. I would be hurt if I was your DH too. 

Now, if I'm sick or in pain, that may change. But that's a given for both of us, birth or not. 

 

Not sex. Blow jobs. I don't like them but he does, so we keep a schedule (once a week + holidays) and we stick to it. I guess I don't feel like I should have to suck his *** right after giving birth 

LOL, wow.  Lucky man.

amanda7_17

Yikes, this is not how we do things in my marriage.  He doesn't just go down on me and not get anything in return and I won't do it for him.  BJ's are just foreplay for us, I would never schedule them.  Why should he expect to be catered to when you can't have sex at all?  If it's off the menu for me, it's off the menu for him.  He's a big boy he can take care of himself.

 

Eilis123

We stopped having sex of all sorts in the early second tri.  As a consolation prize, I let my husband use my iPad to watch porn while he takes care of himself. 

Works for us both.  

And I actually LIKE giving BJs, ordinarily.  But during pregnancy or with a newborn?  I'm keep that tablet battery charged. 

punkrockabye

LittleMissLulu:

I guess I don't feel like I should have to suck his *** right after giving birth 

 

That's why I'll be suckin' away while the baby is crowning, duh. 

jonesdouglas:

*BLANK STARE*

Better yet, I like this idea. 

melrrr

erbear:

TwilightMV:

Why? I'm confused. I like those things as much as DH, and would never look at them as a wifely "duty". I'm sure he's really psyched to know how much of a chore it is for you, and that you're planning a "vacation" from it. I would be hurt if I was your DH too. 

Now, if I'm sick or in pain, that may change. But that's a given for both of us, birth or not. 

OP: do you have a schedule for him to go down on you too? 

This is my question as well! 

OUKatie

Sawyerplus1:

LittleMissLulu:

TwilightMV:

Why? I'm confused. I like those things as much as DH, and would never look at them as a wifely "duty". I'm sure he's really psyched to know how much of a chore it is for you, and that you're planning a "vacation" from it. I would be hurt if I was your DH too. 

Now, if I'm sick or in pain, that may change. But that's a given for both of us, birth or not. 

 

Not sex. Blow jobs. I don't like them but he does, so we keep a schedule (once a week + holidays) and we stick to it. I guess I don't feel like I should have to suck his *** right after giving birth 

Goodness sakes, a BJ schedule?! Sounds fun....

I'd be open with your DH and make  sure he's open to the fact that you really truly may not be up for it after LO arrives. Having a newborn, especially the 1st, is exhausting. More than you can imagine. If your DH gives you a hard time about not being able to "keep up with your duties" for the month after LO arrives, then I'd suggest you have deeper issues in your marriage.  

Seriously. The formal schedule is ridiculous enough but for your husband to be upset about an interruption to the schedule while you recover from birth and deal with a newborn is seriously f'ed up.

Sorry, OP, you married an ass.

pinkpepsi

A schedule for BJ's? You have to be joking. If my Dh put me on a schedule for these things he would be sleeping outside on the porch. Schedules also take the fun out and turn it into a job. My DH would NEVER think about demanding a schedule for anything from me. He loves and RESPECTS me and your "schedule" is degrading! Grow some balls and tell him to suck it up.

pinkpepsi

mrs.dovey:

mrsjengle:

This post is chalked full of funny. BJ schedules, the wife who never considers anything in the bedroom to be a "duty" (must be a honeymooner and people who say if you don't like it never do it. If I followed any of that advice consistently, I'd be divorced!

Hmm. Maybe you should be then. DH loves BH's and hasn't received one in 7 years. I am not doing something I have no interest in doing. My H and I have other ways of enjoying each others company.

Agreed. Sounds like you should be.

preggocraigo

Don't do it if you don't want to or don't feel like it. And dont feel bad about it. If you just had a baby you may not be up to that for a while. I know it makes me tired just thinking about it.

JennyJensing

punkrockabye:

LittleMissLulu:

I guess I don't feel like I should have to suck his *** right after giving birth 

 

That's why I'll be suckin' away while the baby is crowning, duh. 

jonesdouglas:

*BLANK STARE*

Better yet, I like this idea. 

Why don't you just have him put it in your A$$?? Isn't that what everyone does?

I'm calling MUD on this one! 

BabyCoco29

This is crazy, I dont believe people think of it as a wifely duty, I like sex more then my husband probably and could do that and whatever else all the time. That being said im not worried about after the baby becasue  my husband and I know that after giving birth that will be the last thing on our minds for a while though its never been talked about becasue I dont know why it would. FYI to all of you that wont do things like that, hate to tell you but they will find someone who does if they havent already. What that saying Be a cook in the kitchen and maid in the house and a whore in the bedroom..... something like that......... totally true and fun so try it

davisas2323

I'm still weirded out about the schedule + duty part. *shudder* I'm almost sure that the year is 2012, right?

CYBURRCHIC

This is so MUD!

magsugar13

You lost me at "wifely duites"

Anyone else feel like they stepped into the twilight zone?

Nevtali

Hon, my daughter is a very easy 5-month-old. I'm working from home. My husband has a flexible schedule and spends quite a bit of time with our daughter. And we're still only managing sex once a week with a lot of planning and mutual interest. If you're not interested in BJ's, you're not going to be giving them the first month postpartum. Your husband is in for a rude awakening.

kellbelle618

Scout2005:

BabyCoco29:

This is crazy, I dont believe people think of it as a wifely duty, I like sex more then my husband probably and could do that and whatever else all the time. That being said im not worried about after the baby becasue  my husband and I know that after giving birth that will be the last thing on our minds for a while though its never been talked about becasue I dont know why it would. FYI to all of you that wont do things like that, hate to tell you but they will find someone who does if they havent already. What that saying Be a cook in the kitchen and maid in the house and a whore in the bedroom..... something like that......... totally true and fun so try it

Shockingly, I'm not overly concerned that my husband is going to be unfaithful just because I don't give him BJs on command. As our marriage is based on a bit more than my "being a whore in the bedroom."

I know, what a fantasy world I live in. 

Kristine Schilling

lurker from 3rd tri, 2nd time mom:

Are you just talking out the sex aspect?

Of course I am taking a month off the wifely duties... First, recovery from L&D, usually involves a lack of sex. Second, baby is going to be waking up every 2 hours average to eat, who has time or energy for anything else? Franky if he is being insistant about that stuff he is a jack A**.

You will have a newborn, in regards to anything other than care of the newborn you will be incredibly tired. Housework, sex, laundry, grocery store visits are all going to be on the back burner and HE can take up some slack for a bit while you adjust to the new schedule.

noah-bear

BabyCoco29:

FYI to all of you that wont do things like that, hate to tell you but they will find someone who does if they havent already. What that saying Be a cook in the kitchen and maid in the house and a whore in the bedroom..... something like that......... totally true and fun so try it

Yeah......no.

DH loves BJ's and wants them all the time I don't do that and I can guarantee he hasn't and wont go "find someone who will".

My cooking is shlt

What's cleaning?

And whore? Really? Really?