Schedule change= three year old freaking out

smacb

Any advice?

DH switched jobs about 6 weeks ago.  He's working crazy hours and we rarely see him.  I'm high risk and have a million doctor appointments.  DS is in preschool two mornings a week and we have a baby sitter come by one morning and one afternoon a week so I can make all of my doctors appointments, rest and get ready for baby number two.

My son has started acting out.  He tried to get sent home from preschool yesterday so he could see Daddy.

 

northernvabride

Sorry you're having to deal with so much.  DD#1 isn't getting as much attention now since DD#2 is very clingy and DD#1 plays so well on her own.  So I try to take extra time with her when I can to just have it be the 2 of us.  Can DH do that, even if only for a few minutes?  Or could you make plans for a special weekly outing with DS that he can look forward to.  Could you try to bring him to more of the appts if you can figure out a way for him to behave (a special toy he can play with just at the appts, a treat afterwards)? 

2vthokies

Aw, I'm sorry you're dealing with this.  We just went through a very light version of this last week with DD1 because DD2 had RSV and needed all of my attention.  She faked being sick last Tuesday because she wanted to stay home from daycare with me and DD2.  Yesterday and today she asked to stay home even though she normally loves school and usually asks to go on the weekends.  I just try and give her extra hugs and stuff when I can and I let her choose where we are going to eat out tonight (we usually go out for dinner Friday or Saturday evening).  That made her happy and she went to school with a smile.  While I think that a large part of it has to do with DD2 needing more from us I also think it's a stage (she was three in August).

Sofka

I am sorry, that is not fun! I think your DH needs to spend more time with him, make time every day, either before or after work and especially on weekends but not just on weekends. 5 days is a long time for a kid. Can your DH change up his schedule to make it more family-friendly? What's going to happen when DS#2 comes along? DS#1 will need even more one-on-one time with both of you. I found that taking care of DS, nursing him so much, took up a huge chunk of time and DH had to take over much of DD's care.

is your DH home during the day and gone at night/morning? if so, can he come see DS at pre-school (not sure how realistic this is...just throwing out ideas)

 

smacb

Part of me is wondering if it's a phase.  He turned 3 in August.  He keeps talking about how he's happiest when he's with me and DH.  

My mom went back to work when I was his age and put me in daycare.  I completely freaked out and refused to go.  Maybe it's karma?

I'm seeing 3 specialists and an OB.  I take him when I can and try to schedule appointments during preschool, but it isn't always an option.  He usually goes with me to the endocrinologist, the perinatologist gets more complicated.  Plus, he hates going to see doctors.

DH's hours are insane.  He was working for a subcontractor 10 minutes from our house, 40 hours a week until about 6 weeks ago.  They tried to force him to go to Afghanistan for 6 months, so he quit.  The prime made him an offer the same day, but they misrepresented every aspect of the new job.  He's trying to get them to move him.  He works 12 hour shifts 5-5, some are over night and he has 3 days on and then 3 days off.  It's a 2 hour commute each way most days.  There can be several days in a row when we don't see him.  Last night he got home at 7 and spent an hour wtih DS before they both fell asleep.  

I don't know what we're going to do if DH isn't in a new job by the time the baby gets here.  I have a bunch of people lined up to come help, but it's going to be insane. 

Sofka

I work for a large defense contractor, if he wants to send me his resume, I'll be happy to pass it around...email me at sssssm_2000 at yahoo

(put resume and your name in Subj line)