just going to rant about a friend please fell free to skip if you want

Clotho!

So my friend is pg w/ her 3rd baby. All her pgs are easy and uncomplicated and she went over due w/ her first 2 and both have been healthy w/ no problems. However, since she had a c-section w/ both of them she feels like she gets to complain ALL the time about it.

Yes her 1st wasn't a planned c-section and she did have some issues while during labor that she completely blames the dr. for. B/c obviously there is NO other explanation than if she had gotten her way things would have been just fine. Her 2nd was a scheduled c-section b/c her ob made her. B/c obviously she couldn't go get another dr.She knew before she ever got pg that her ob doesn't do VBAC but she decided to stay w/ him anyway.

She always talks about how traumatized she is. I'm not doubting it was traumatic during her 1st one. Everyone is scared when they have their  1st baby and to have an emergency c-sect. is scary. I always feel like she is trying to say her birth experience is was WAY worse than mine (pick any of my 3 preemies and hers was worse). It is at this point I usually walk away form the convo b/c I'm not going to play the mine was worse than yours game. Really there is no point in that game. Does she have the right to be upset about not having the exact birth she wanted yes, but it always seems like she is saying hers was the worst possible scenario she could imagine. Knowing full well when she is talking to me that it could get much worse.

She keeps going on about how she wants a home birth (good for her) but her dh won't let her b/c he is afraid for her safety blah blah and if it weren't for that she would have this baby at home. I mean b/c heaven forbid your dh care about you and want you to be safe!

I really feel like she has been saying I"m having this baby MY way no matter what this time. I don't care if the baby is in distress I'm doing it MY way. I see all her posts on Facebook about this and so many people supporting her in this choice. I really hope this doesn't come back and bite her. I hope she does get the uncomplicated birth she wants. Everyone should be given the chance to have the birth they want but not at the cost of the health of mom or baby.

I know my views are clouded  by having had 3 complicated pgs, 3 emergency c-sections, and 3 preemie babies 2 of whom had NICU stays. Perhaps if I had different pgs and births I would understand where she is coming from.

At this point I'm about to block her from my Facebook just so I don't have to see another post about how awful her other births were. I know it is her page and she can post what she wants. It just frustrates me when people don't understand how much worse things could have been and that her dr. was doing what he thought was best in the circumstances. I know even my births and NICU stays were easy and short compared to some of you ladies here,

Sorry this is so long and if you have read this far thanks. I'm just venting here b/c I have no where else to vent really b/c if I post this on Facebook I would starts WW3. B/c heaven forbid anyone mention a view contrary to hers and all her friends. B/c if you're not 100% against c-sections you're an awful person!

Okay vent over now!

 

KatFCo

I have a friend like that, the "one-upper" who, no matter what you say, she has a better/worse story. Sounds like your friend is also a sympathy grabber. Sometimes ignoring them is the only way to go.

ppants

I hate playing the "who has it worse/harder" game.  It's ridiculous.  Maybe you can suggest couseling since she's so traumatized from her births.  She needs to get over it sometime right? 

Clotho!

mrs_sexy:

I hate playing the "who has it worse/harder" game.  It's ridiculous.  Maybe you can suggest couseling since she's so traumatized from her births.  She needs to get over it sometime right? 

Yes. I think she should get counseling. Her oldest is 6.5 years old and she told me she still can't talk about his birth story w/o bawling like a baby b/c it was soooooo horrible. Sometimes I feel like telling her  "Get over it. My oldest is 5 and I can talk about his birth w/o crying and I almost died having him. Do you really still want to play this mine was worse game w/ me?" Don't get me wrong I'm sad when I think about how his birth was and wish things could have been different.

As a counselor I know you can't tell some one how to grieve but at what point do you say this is abnormal and you need help. I know if I suggested it to her though she would be so mad that I would presume to tell her her births weren't just awful and her feelings are perfectly fine.

KMZ1983

I have a friend like that. She had her baby at 36 weeks and likes to talk about how terrified she was (don't doubt it was scary) and how no one can understand. Funny, I had my little angel at 32 weeks 6 days. Yes....that is pretty freaking scary!

 

I just walk away. I will never win and I want to still like her at other times so I know I have to distance myself when she starts in. 

MommynTeacher

I can't stand people like that. I recently had someone trying to one up me with someone else's story...that made me nuts. (LOL, I'm not trying to one up you!)

GatorNurse

BLOCK HER! One of my favorite aspects of FB, lol.

My cousin (whos 21) and his idiot wife (whos 19) got pregnant right before we did. She was completely oblivious the entire time of the things that could go wrong in pregnancy, or the things she should avoid, etc. She is about 100 lbs soaking wet and NEVER bought maternity clothes, just wore her way-too-tight-skank clothes the entire time. She was still pregnant when my DH & I had our girl at 28 weeks and she delivered about a week later. She had to have an emergency csection because her OB thought her rail-thin self could push out an almost 10 lb baby. Long story short: she's been blocked from my FB for MONTHS!

lemen99

Some people just don't get it.

ladybugbella24

Ugh! I'm so glad you brought this up! I HATE hearing "omg having an episiotomy is the worst thing.in.the.world" Yeah. No. Did you forget who you're venting to? How about having a classical emergency csection at 24 weeks! Not that I'm trying to one-up but that usually shuts them up.