Sleep training concern

march2008

I've already read the No Cry Sleep Solution and I didn't really feel like it applied to DD because the main issue that we're having with her is that she CANNOT fall asleep on her own and we've pretty much run out of things that can force her to sleep. Motion used to work, but the older she gets, the more she can withstand and force herself to stay awake. Nursing her to sleep used to work, but she's usually able to keep herself awake through that now, too.

I'm currently reading the Good Night, Sleep Tight book. DH and I are considering sleep training because I'm at my wits end. It is almost impossible to get her to nap during the day and she ends up being so overtired by bedtime that it's becoming increasingly more difficult to put her to bed, she wakes up often during the night now, and gets up too early in the morning (all signs of chronic over-tiredness). She cries so much during the day from being so tired that I figure she can't possibly cry any more from sleep training than she already is now from being over-tired.

Has anyone been successful with sleep training that has a baby who has issues with falling asleep on their own AND withstands all of your attempts at putting her to sleep - until she just passes out from shear exhaustion (i.e. does not appear to have any sleep "crutches")? I am so afraid of how much crying is going to be involved. She reaches for me with her arms now. I don't know if I can do this. 

gymnst1013

I have no advice.  Just (((hugs))) because I totally feel you.  We are going through much of the same now - just awful, awful sleep habits.  It sucks donkey balls.

mamajanna28

So I am assuming that I wrote this a week ago and was so tired that I don't remember doing so.  Seriously this was me word for word right after Christmas.  DH and I decided that we were going to try a modified CIO for LO and today is the seventh day and I am such a believer now!   Judah would not go to sleep AT ALL without a boob in his mouth which meant that he rarley took a nap and was a nightmare to get to sleep.  For the most part he slept well, usually through the night with the exception of some crazy weeks around 5.5 months.  We started with the CIO and the first night was hell.  He cried for 40 minutes and every time I walked back into the room he would get even more upset.  I continued to go in and pat his back and rub his head and he eventually started to respond to it and calmed down.  The next two nights took around 30 minutes, then 20 minutes, and down to around ten.  Tonight I put him in his crib, sang him a song and walked out of the room.  He wimpered, tossed around and fell asleep FOUR MINUTES later!!!!  He actually took a few longer naps this week as well.  I said that I would only try this for seven days and if it didn't work we were trying something else.  I am still in shock that it worked this well. I know that every baby is different and may or not respond to this method but it is worth a shot if you are running out of options.  Good luck mama!

M&M227

We didn't have a lot of trouble with DD falling asleep, just her staying asleep.  We started Ferber last week and to my surprise her naps greatly improved without even working on them.  Even daycare had success today just putting her in her crib to fall asleep herself.  At this point, I think she needs that quiet alone time to sleep because she's just so aware of everything around her.

Anyway, although I didn't have your same problem I would recommend it.  It's going to be difficult but you should see results in a day or two. 

march2008

Thank you all. DH is on board with trying the GNST method after we both finish reading the book. I'm so not looking forward to it, but I want desperately to be able to help DD sleep better so that she's more happy and well-rested during the days.

germanpickle

Yes! Me! This will be a very long response. Hope it does help though.

We started sleep training at week 14 - here is my info from then: 

We co-slept with PJ until 14 weeks. He had colic and we had a very difficult start with breastfeeding, so this was the best option for us. At 13 weeks we started a nighttime routine that includes books, boob, small bottle, & short song...then a long period of my husband carrying him around to sleep.

At 14 weeks, my husband started to put PJ down in his crib in his room after carrying him to sleep. The first time he woke up, I brought him to bed with us and nursed him about every 2 hours. After a few nights, I would breastfeed PJ once in his room and put him back down to his crib. It worked.

Starting at 14+4 days, I began to put PJ down in his crib for a nap. I allowed him to cry 5 minutes, then I would pick him up and sooth him to quiet. From day one it took about 2-3 rounds of 5 minutes of crying for him to fall asleep alone in his crib.

At 15 weeks, we decided to allow PJ to cry for limited amounts of time. The first night it took almost 2 hours of crying and soothing at increasing intervals. The second night it took 2 rounds of 5 minutes; same with the third night. We are still there.

Almost immedinately PJ starting eating less frequently during the day and during the night. He currently eats between 2 and 3 times a night (down from 5 to 6) and sleeps one long stretch of 5-6 hours at the start of the night. He spends the entire night in his crib. He has also moved up his bedtime to almost 6pm. He naps more frequently during the day too. He wakes up very early and then goes back to sleep after 45minutes to 1 hour.

Mommy and daddy are sleeping much better too!

The update now is at week 26 is that PJ still wants to struggle against sleep so that he can be a part of everything (man, is this kid social!) and every single time we break with the routine (Christmas, New Years, when I was sick), we have to restart the sleep training. The great news is that - while he still wakes up during the night to eat and that is okay with me because he is REALLY eating and then going back to sleep - each time is easier, faster, and more successful. He is also taking two to three good naps every day and he is just generally much happier. Crying for exhaustion is a thing of the past.

Our next step is to stop picking him up to soothe him but to allow him to settle in the crib with our back patting. We specifically chose to make small changes because he is rather sensitive and was hanging such a difficult time with sleep. Other people make really big changes all at once and that works too. 

good luck!