Closing the chapter...
BeckyP005
member
Well here I am on the board I really don't want to be on. DH doesn't want to do DE IVF...too much money and no guarantee it will work. Of course I'm mad as hell at him right now. My dreams of being a mom is shattered just as everyone on here.
When posting the last time on my board I'm on it was the worse thing. I know I'm lucky to be healthy and have my family but it still hurts. Like when I have a 1st bday party this month..baby shower next month..friend doing 2nd IVF..another letting me know if its a boy/girl soon.
I am calling a therapist tomorrow..I need help to come to terms with this and move on. I wish I knew what plan was given to me. Maybe it's a good thing..I am 43 almost 44. All I know is that I'm sad but it will get better...right?? Thanks for letting me vent.
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11.
2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do
"shared" program.
Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months.
Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!
Re: Closing the chapter...
I'm sorry
It's been a few years for me, and I can tell you, it definitely gets better. I'm in a pretty good place right now. Every once in a while, the grief reappears with no warning. But overall, I'm ok.
I'm sorry. You told him about the clinics with DE guarantee plans? He still wouldn't get on board?
I promise that it does get better. We decided to stop treatments in July and I feel 100 times better now than I did then. I still think about it a lot and I still have the occasional bad day, but most of the time I feel pretty good.
I also saw a therapist and found it helpful. In addition, I read a couple of IF/child-free books that helped, tried to stay busy, tried to focus on all the good things in my life, have spent more time with other child-free friends, planned a vacation, etc. Those are the things that helped me get to a better place.
Good luck to you. ((Hugs))
Why is this board such a magnet for the crazies??!! I don't get it!
I know..seriously. Plus I'm not home enough for a dog right now...have a cat. He's my baby for now
Holly too hard for me to travel.
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!