Requesting a review

nanabanana06

So here is my scenario. DD's BD at the time of the original child support agreement was not employed. So he got stuck with the state minimum of 50$ a month. Well, when he joined the navy the navy said he would be paying the 50$ of child support and then I get the dependents portion of his housing allowance (since it is for the dependent). So that is like an extra 250$ a month for me. The navy said it is not considered child support since he wouldn't even be getting a housing allowance if it wasn't for the dependent. So because he donated sperm he gets an extra 1000$ to his pay for housing that he doesn't need because he lives in the barracks with the other single guys.

Well, since circumstances have changed with me. I was thinking of going to the state to review what he is paying for child support. Since by the state calculator my state posted online he should be paying me more to the tune of 500$ not 50$. He also hasn't called, texted, or even gotten DD a birthday or christmas present. We are hoping that my FI will legally adopt her in the next few years so we never have see or talk to BD again. So with all these circumstances. Would you ask for a review or not? 

achase123

I would consult with a lawyer with this one since FI wants to adopt her.  I know they might scrutinize something like that as in thinking you're trying to take him for what you can, and then turning around to advocate that your new husband adopt DD.  I can't imagine it would look good.

nanabanana06

achase123:

I would consult with a lawyer with this one since FI wants to adopt her.  I know they might scrutinize something like that as in thinking you're trying to take him for what you can, and then turning around to advocate that your new husband adopt DD.  I can't imagine it would look good.

See, thats what I was thinking. That even though the extra support would be very nice to have, it would make him much more involved with DD and make it seem bad when we go through with the adoption. I guess I will leave it as is and once me and my FI are married call BD to sign over his rights to forego the child support. Since he doesn't have a real interest in her anyways.  

CFjo2010

This is kind of a no-win situation.  If you go ahead and do the review now and get the extra support, it might interfere with the adoption.  Unless at that point BD is so tired of paying child support that he agrees to the adoption.  Your other option would be to start discussing the adoption with BD now and see what he says.  If he says he's not going to agree to it, then go ahead and do the review for extra support.  That might change his tune later on.  The only issue with that is, he's going to claim that you only want the review because he won't allow your FI to adopt your child (not that it really matters, Courts could care less. They let the numbers do the talking).

I guess if I were in your position, I would do the latter: mention the adoption to BD now and get a feel for what he may/may not agree to.  If he seems dead set against the adoption, go ahead and do the review.  Paying child support doesn't necessarily mean he's "more involved" with the child, just that he's more financially responsible for the child.  And as I previously indicated, the increased CS might help nudge BD into agreeing to the adoption.