I hate feeding my daughter.

lwmooney87

The title speaks for itself. I absolutely hate feeding time. Reagan has ALWAYS been so hard to feed. It all started in the NICU, that was the only thing keeping us there for a while. She just doesn't like to eat. I just don't get it. Most babies I've seen get excited when they see their bottle and can't get it in their mouths fast enough- for her...she could care less. I can get her to eat about half the bottle but after about 3 ounces, she's done and I have to force her to eat the rest. She will move her head from side to side, swat at it, scream, you name it... I've done everything... from singing, my husband making funny faces and talking to her, even pulling up minnie mouse movies on youtube on our phones for her to watch to distract her!

I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm going to pull my hair out. We have good days and we have bad days. For the past week, it's been bad days. She's getting about 27 ounces for the day but that's pushing it. It's just so hard! She's still so little too. She's only 13.5lbs. She's already on Prevacid 7.5mg twice a day and she's on Alimentum for what we guess is a milk protein allergy. She will also vomit so easily. You have to be so careful when feeding her to not trigger that. My DH won't even feed her because it's so hard to feed her. I guess I'm just venting. I don't know what else to do. Do any of your LO's do this? I don't think it's an oral aversion because it comes and goes. Some days, she's fine with the bottle. There are just some days where it seems like she's just not hungry or something... I don't know! ugh! Thanks for letting me vent!

 ETA: Just clarify, I don't want to get flamed, I don't actually "hate" feeding her...I just wish it were easier!

AlwaysSunny925

I'm sorry you are going through this.  {{hugs}}

paige0328

I don't have any advice, except for that I'm sorry you're going through this! I feel your pain a little bit, feedings give me lots of anxiety and are stressful... I generally struggle to get her to finish her bottle, and watch so she doesn't throw it all up. I wish it was something I could look forward to. Hang in there, I hope it gets better.

adrielegorburu

No one is going to flame you - feeding issues can be really tough! I dont have much advice - DD has bad reflux and low muscle tone and some other things that make feeding difficult sometimes but she doesnt have any issues gaining weight and LOVES to eat. The only thing I can think of to suggest is to offer her smaller meals more often on the days that shes being the most difficult. I try to rationalize with DD, what hurts her tummy? being too full will exacerbate her reflux so if she doesnt want to finish her bottle I dont make her, then again I dont have to worry about her weight like you do.  But what if you give her 3 oz ever two hours as opposed to 6 every 4? or something along those lines? maybe that will help.  It sounds like shes having reflux symptoms during her feeds (swatting crying, shaking her head). Are you seeing a GI about her reflux or is your pedi following it? I'm sure you know all the "reflux tricks" like upright feedings and thickened feedings etc. but sometimes a GI is more able to find a solution.  Good luck and I really hope it gets better

staceylynn1229

Seriously, I could have written this post!!!!  DD is 4 months old (2 months adjusted)and we have always had feeding issues.  I get so jealous of moms that go on about how their lo's will eat a whole bottle and still want more!  At first we thought it was a reflux issue because she would scream and arch her back while being fed.  Now, she is on prevacid and she no longer does that, but it is still a miracle if she finishes her whole bottle!  As a matter of fact, we have not even been able to increase the amount she takes because she won't eat it all.  She has been eating 3 ounces every 3 hours (except at night) for it seems like forever!  She will take about half of her bottle, and after stopping to burp her, she will turn her head from side to side when we try to put the bottle back in her mouth, or she will thrust her tongue and push the nipple out!!!  I can totally relate to your frustration!  We, too, have on and off days.  The dr doesn't seem too concerned about this, though, because she has continued to gain weight!  Good luck and if you figure out the magic answer to getting baby to eat, LET ME KNOW!!!

jacque_z

This sounds exactly like what we went through with C.  It was incredibly frustrating.  I hated feeding times.  C didn't have an oral aversion either.  Just like your LO sometimes were worse than others.  I basically had to force feed her for 6 months after she came home from the NICU.  But the good news is she has grown out of it.  It did take until she was 8 or 9 months actual.  I don't remember exactly.  In the meantime, what kept Chan growing was her nighttime feedings.  She would eat the best when she was sleepy.  I remember her pedi suggested cutting the nighttime feeds so we could sleep and I was like "heck no that's the only time she finishes a bottle".  I hope your DD starts liking food soon! 

lwmooney87

Thanks guys. I feel like I've tried it all and really...nothing is ever consistent with her. Sometimes she eats really well when she's sleepy/asleep but then sometimes she refuses it...sometimes she will eat it all and then throw up. If I wait longer between feeds, it doesn't help. If I try to feed her more frequently she will just flat out refuse it. It's incredibly frustrating. I'm just going to do the best I can. The only thing I'm not doing is thickened feeds because in the beginning, she didn't do well with that. I'm thinking maybe we should try it again. She does see a GI but the last time she saw him, she was fine so he said he didn't need to see her again. I guess I should make another appt but sure enough, if I do, she will start eating better again. It's like a roller coaster. A really frustrating roller coaster.

bhilyer

I have no advice.  You know my feeding frustrations with Hilyer.  It's tough!  I totally get where you're coming from.

 

Hang in there! 

ajordan83

staceylynn1229:

Seriously, I could have written this post!!!!  DD is 4 months old (2 months adjusted)and we have always had feeding issues.  I get so jealous of moms that go on about how their lo's will eat a whole bottle and still want more!  At first we thought it was a reflux issue because she would scream and arch her back while being fed.  Now, she is on prevacid and she no longer does that, but it is still a miracle if she finishes her whole bottle!  As a matter of fact, we have not even been able to increase the amount she takes because she won't eat it all.  She has been eating 3 ounces every 3 hours (except at night) for it seems like forever!  She will take about half of her bottle, and after stopping to burp her, she will turn her head from side to side when we try to put the bottle back in her mouth, or she will thrust her tongue and push the nipple out!!!  I can totally relate to your frustration!  We, too, have on and off days.  The dr doesn't seem too concerned about this, though, because she has continued to gain weight!  Good luck and if you figure out the magic answer to getting baby to eat, LET ME KNOW!!!

ajordan83

staceylynn1229:

Seriously, I could have written this post!!!!  DD is 4 months old (2 months adjusted)and we have always had feeding issues.  I get so jealous of moms that go on about how their lo's will eat a whole bottle and still want more!  At first we thought it was a reflux issue because she would scream and arch her back while being fed.  Now, she is on prevacid and she no longer does that, but it is still a miracle if she finishes her whole bottle!  As a matter of fact, we have not even been able to increase the amount she takes because she won't eat it all.  She has been eating 3 ounces every 3 hours (except at night) for it seems like forever!  She will take about half of her bottle, and after stopping to burp her, she will turn her head from side to side when we try to put the bottle back in her mouth, or she will thrust her tongue and push the nipple out!!!  I can totally relate to your frustration!  We, too, have on and off days.  The dr doesn't seem too concerned about this, though, because she has continued to gain weight!  Good luck and if you figure out the magic answer to getting baby to eat, LET ME KNOW!!!

ajordan83

staceylynn1229:

Seriously, I could have written this post!!!!  DD is 4 months old (2 months adjusted)and we have always had feeding issues.  I get so jealous of moms that go on about how their lo's will eat a whole bottle and still want more!  At first we thought it was a reflux issue because she would scream and arch her back while being fed.  Now, she is on prevacid and she no longer does that, but it is still a miracle if she finishes her whole bottle!  As a matter of fact, we have not even been able to increase the amount she takes because she won't eat it all.  She has been eating 3 ounces every 3 hours (except at night) for it seems like forever!  She will take about half of her bottle, and after stopping to burp her, she will turn her head from side to side when we try to put the bottle back in her mouth, or she will thrust her tongue and push the nipple out!!!  I can totally relate to your frustration!  We, too, have on and off days.  The dr doesn't seem too concerned about this, though, because she has continued to gain weight!  Good luck and if you figure out the magic answer to getting baby to eat, LET ME KNOW!!!

ajordan83

This exactly!!

mrsV719

I haven't been on TB in a while... so I don't know your LO's background. Does she have reflux? Is she on meds? My LO is on both Zantac and Prilosec and he gets like that when he has gained weight and the dosage hasn't increased. At first we were on both meds and thickened allimentum. Now LO is 10.5m act/8m adj and we don't thicken with rice/oats but his cals have increased (he is a peanut) and that makes it a bit thicker. I used to cry at least 8 times a day when I had to feed him. It was the most terrible, exhausting, emotionally straining, and frustrating thing. I hated it too. 

opallover

Have you tried pushing the feeding times? Maybe if you space the times out farther she will eat more??

Not sure, I'm not a pedi but ours said that she was gaining too much too fast and that maybe my feeding her every two hours was too much and that was why she was puking.

Although, today she ate every two hours but last night she ate every four hours... what do i know??

sail123

I used to dread feeding time too. It sounds like she is actually getting quite a bit of formula. Have you tried solids with her yet? 

Vine07

I could have written this exact post over a year ago. My DD hated eating; it was miserable feeding her the bottle. We would also have to pull out every trick in the book such as singing, dancing, you name it! She was on alimentum as well as reflux meds. And she would also throw up very easily which was even more frustrating when I spent all that time getting her to drink her bottle.

It actually gave me severe anxiety; I would never leave her during feeding time and making sure she ate consumed my life. She really never cried for the bottle and never seemed hungry.

That being said, my DD was off the bottle shortly after her 1st birthday since it was more of a battle than anything. She did really well on straw sippy cups and WCM.

Does your DD do well with solids? Mine never really did and actually still struggles a lot; she is currently getting feeding therapy through early intervention although she has definitely improved with age. I will say though she still has an extremely small appetite and never really asks for food.  Mine is tiny as well; only weighing about 23lbs at 2 years old.

Just know you are not alone! Hang in there!

lwmooney87

I have tried spacing out the feeding times but that doesn't really do any good. She still eats the same. Honestly, I think she would go all day sometimes without eating if we let her. She's only cried for a bottle a handful of times. I get excited if/when she ever does.

I have tried solids. She seemed to do really well with it at first but lately doesn't have much interest. I still offer it to her twice a day. She will usually eat a few bites but that's it. Sometimes more. It just depends.

It's just so frustrating. I know it's like a roller coaster and it has ups and downs. It seems like everytime she has a "down" period, I freak out. I just worry so much about her weight. My DH and I always say "It shouldn't be this hard to feed a baby" and it shouldn't...It should be a bonding time that we both enjoy but it's a constant struggle.

andreakirchoff

I don't have any good advice.  But I know when my little guy does his "I'm going to scream when I eat and then choke and then scream because I'm hungry and you took the bottle away because I was choking, " it makes me want to bang my head against the wall.  All I can say is hang in there.

cottonlily84

My daughter would act like that after feeding because of her reflux.  Since you already know about that I'm sure the swatting/crying during feeding is understandable.  She realizes it's what makes her throat burn with the reflux.  Perhaps 3 ounces is all she needs?  If she's gaining adequately I don't think it should matter how much she takes at once.  I don't use formula so I don't know how the ounces work there but I don't think you should ever force feed a baby (not saying you are).  If she's done I would put the bottle down and then let her eat again when she's hungry.  The ped recommended I give DD less milk more often to help ease the reflux and spitting up.  I was feeding her every hour sometimes but it did help.  Maybe yours would do better taking fewer ounces of formula especially if it's thickened more often during the day?  The worst part I had with DD was she would tire/fall asleep before getting her fill and always be hungry; she has the opposite problem of your DD.  These babies have such unique and odd and feeding habits!

IncogNeato

Maybe smaller feeds more frequently would be better, or maybe she's not meant to be big? My LO was only 16lb at a year ( was a 5lb 36 weeker) and never took more than 3-4 oz per feeding. Like, never. Her pedi is not concerned, she's hitting milestones, etc. Up until starting to wean she was taking max 15 oz from bottles and nursing 2-3 times for a total of maybe 24 oz a day. That's prob not helpful but some babies are little and have little tummies, KWIM? It's possible that LO isn't hungry bc she's getting adequate calories for the size and rate of growth that's healthy for her. Looks like your LO is bigger than mine based on adjusted age and mine had a pretty big head start based on birth weight. I think your LO is doing great!