What would joint legal entail exactly?

LoveyFNR

So STBXH contacted my lawyer after I was granted my OFP and said he would be willing to just sign the divorce agreement if some things were changed. I'm assuming he now realizes he doesn't have a chance to get what he wants anymore. He wants visits right off the bat (instead of restricted as we had put) which is fine with me as long as they are a continuance off the Order for Protection (4 hours of supervised each weekend).

He also requested joint legal custody. My lawyer thinks with the proof of abuse and X's horrible alcohol habit and criminal background he doesn't stand a chance for joint legal if we want to go for sole so my lawyer thinks we should still continue with going for sole physical and legal.

My question is what exactly does having joint legal give X the ability to do? I'm sure with how manipulative and coniving he is there could be something underlying that I'm not seeing. I'm obviously still going to fight for sole custody but I just want to know what I could be up against.

kmartinez80

The judge during my divorce hearings told my XH that she could not grant joint legal because of the history of domestic violence (one of the criteria for joint legal is that there is no history of domestic violence).  I can only speak to the specifics of my case/state, so you may want to check your states laws.  It probably also depends on whether or not the domestic violence was substantiated, but it sounds like your situation would fit the criteria.

CFjo2010

Depending on your State, joint legal can mean different things.  For the most part it just means that you BOTH have a say in schools, medical treatments, counseling, etc.  But all within reason. Most Courts generally grant joint legal because it helps keep some checks and balances in place.  Sometimes the CP with sole legal custody will run amok and make all sorts of decisions without the other parent's input/knowledge. For example, my XH lives in TN and I'm in CA, and he has joint legal custody.  Obviously it does him no good having it because he's not here to make decisions anyways.  I notify him of things but ultimately it's MY choice. 

As PP said, you would need approval from him on some issues.  However, if he refuses to consent to medical treatment, schools or other IMPORTANT issues, HE needs to be prepared to explain to the Judge why he wouldn't consent.  Regarding medical treatment: you do NOT need his consent if it's an emergency.  Most States will say you just need to notify him within 24/48 hours of treatment.  No Judge is going to fault you or hold you in contempt if you seek emergency treatment for your child without the father's consent.

DarthNBJenni

We have joint legal. My ex-h doesn't even know where the girls go to school, nor does he much care. He's never been to a doctor's appointment (nor paid for one). It just made him feel good to see it on paper. 

LoveyFNR

Thanks ladies. Considering the domestic abuse and violent background my lawyer could care less what X wants and says we will have no issue obtaining sole legal. We did reword the divorce agreement slightly saying he is entitled to 'Parenting Information'. Basically he will know about R's schooling, medical issues, day care, etc. But without him having any particular say in it.

I say it's a rather fair offer over him not getting the chance to know anything at all unless I wanted him to.

cmanmom

DarthNBJenni:

We have joint legal. My ex-h doesn't even know where the girls go to school, nor does he much care. He's never been to a doctor's appointment (nor paid for one). It just made him feel good to see it on paper. 

This.  Same here.

The only problem I have run into with it being joint is when we go over the border into Canada (fairly close to us here in WA state) I have to have a notarized document from XH saying that he agrees when we go there. 

Same thing goes for out of the country travel (say, a cruise or vacation), and some (quite a few actually) airlines require it for domestic flights as well.  I have a passport for DS and XH had to sign off on that in itself, but it apparently isn't enough in itself.  Just something to think about!  It's kind of a pain to get a notarized document from my XH and it can become a stress!  My attny did say once that if he didn't follow through with it and it was getting too close that you can go to court and they will approve it but of course that costs money

cautionwillburneyes

I would keep seeking sole legal/physical if I was you.  There are many things that may pop up over time that may become difficult if he has to give his consent.