Poll: If you have girls, how modest? How old?

Hope2Have

Hadley is just a baby still but I was wondering while looking through Goodwill and looking at some of the things they had for older girls (5-10 yo) and just surprised at some of the designs. I tend to be more conservative by nature but think that these days, little girls/pre-teens are dressing like women and I just don't see the point. IMO babies are different, nothing cuter to me than a 1-2 year old baby in the summer in a romper with no legs... chunky thighs just kill me.   When Hadley is older than I guess 2 or 3 I think modesty will be much more important, but is that a double standard for a baby to be different? I don't think so, but who knows.

Is modesty for your LO important? How much so, meaning... shorts to their knee, or does length matter, short skirts or closer to their knee? Shirts with the spaghetti straps, or do/will they need more of a sleeve (even if its sleeveless)?

(I have a friend who both her and her H are very particular about the modesty of their 7 yo daughter... knee length shorts, no strappy shirts etc, very important to them... but funny thing to me is, they have her in dance and she wears her tutu with no legs or sleeves all over town when its time for a dance, to the store of wherever, IMO I don't see a difference, but its their child, I don't care but just wondering where you guys stood on the issue?)

goldenleaves

We're just goin to play it by ear. We definitely aren't into 2 piece bathing suits. We may have her wear a tankini just because it's a lot easier for diaper changes, but definitely no baby bikinis. I'm not sure when I would be okay with it, but that's why we're playing it by ear.

As for tops, I don't personally care for adult-looking tops, I don't mind tank tops or anything but the low cut spaghetti strap tops will most likely not be in our daughter's wardrobe.

All of this could change, obviously, since she's not even here yet, but so far DH and I are on the same page. I asked him about getting her ears pierced and he said "We'll talk about it when she's 18".

goldenleaves

EmilyVReese80:

Long story short, I think there is a time and a place for a lot of things, and never a time or place for some things. I also believe that it is important for us as moms to teach our kids how to dress stylishly as well as appropriately.

I totally agree with this! It's something I worry about for when she's older. I want her to dress modestly, but I don't want people to think I'm dressing her "frumpy" or unstylish just because she has Down syndrome. I dress modestly and I feel like it translates into stylish so I hope I can help her pull it off too!

Hope2Have

For me, 2 piece bathing suits won't be in our future, like the PP said... maybe tankini, but the little triangle bikinis that you see for little kids? What's the point?

And I wasn't implying that my friends were wrong by letting her wear a tutu, dd will be able to if she wants dance (although we're going to gently nudge her towards karate) but they're just SO opposed to her wearing anything above her knees such as shorts or dresses, but when she is dressed to go to dance, they will go by several stores with her in a tutu, and I dn't really see a difference in showing a knee in her skirt... nothing bad meant by it, just an observation.

mrswright2006

I can't believe what parents deem acceptable to put their children in.  I am not a total prude, but my daughter does not show her belly or wear shorty shorts.  I am not against looking like a mini adult in the sense of "things a woman would wear to a 9-5 banking job."  I actually LIKE that look, but the baby hooker look makes me want to slap parents. 

With DD it is almost impossible to find shorts in the summer, though.  Average shorts on her look like shorty shorts, because her legs are so long.  She is generally in capris or leggings because of that

spunkyprincessmande

I don't have any girls yet, but I definitely think it's important to start young.  Honestly, sometimes I think it's the cutest thing when the baby girls are wearing more grown up girl clothes, but then I think about it.  If I wouldn't let my 13 year old wear it, why would I let my 13 month old?  How do I explain that it was okay when you were a baby, but at a certain age we have to stop?  One of the reasons I don't want my girl wearing immodest clothes is because of weirdos looking at her.  There are weirdos who get off on little little girls, too so that argument should still hold.  Also, it's really about the principle of the matter.  Besides, I think little girls should be just that: little.  I don't want to help them rush to grow up so I'd rather encourage cutesy little girl clothes than cute trendy clothes that border on inappropriate.

MainelyFoolish

I'm just happy if I can get DD to not pull her dress up in public!

As she gets older, I'm sure there will be a line that she'll try to cross (or maybe not...I was never an edgy dresser) and I'll know it when I see it. I don't have any hard and fast rules about what I will allow her to wear. When she was an infant she had a tiny bikini that I thought was the cutest thing ever!

jnksmom

Modesty is important to H and I both. I have always dressed modestly and will teach DD to do the same.  She wears tank tops but they have thicker straps. She has some shorts that are to her knee but some that are not(those are not really short though). Her dresses and skirts are pretty close to the knee. My mom bought her a dress with a halter style top and I didn't let her wear it. She has had a 2 piece swimsuit but I much prefer a tankini or 1 piece.

I agree with others that there is a time and place for specific costumes or dress but I probably would not let DD go into stores in her leotard/tutu. If I needed to run in the store last minute for something, I might do that but would not be going in multiple stores. JMO

FWIW, I didn't put her in rompers without pants/shorts as an infant either. The way she dresses has not really changed. I have always dressed her more modestly. 

Arnegard

We live in ND so in the winter heavy tights or leggings are a must under dresses.  In the summer, either a skort or shorts under all dresses or skirts.  I really don't care about spaghetti straps or halter dresses, that is up to them.  I have been teaching my 6 yo that she shouldn't (and in turn her sisters) change in front of our 8'x6' picture window in our LR.

ETA:  I do not monitor the length of their shorts or skirts.  They have mostly hand me downs and do not see fit to buy new just to have them be longer.  They tend to be mid-lower thigh anyway.  Also I see a ton of "no 2 peice swimsuits."  My oldest (and I) can't wear a 1 piece.  Our torso's are just too long!!  I see no problem with an undeveloped girl wearing a bikini - and yes I bought one triangle top bikini because I thought it was cute.

June2007

Nope.Modesty is not on my radar yet. They are children. When they are teens I dont think they should have shorts up their rears or their breast busting out of their tops but for now they are children. They can wear whatever they like and are comfortable in. I think its ridiculous that people think a young girl can show her thigh or shoulders. I dont encourage my girls to flash their underwear or anything and if DD wants to wear a dress that she loves that is too short I have her wear little shorts or leggings underneath but thats the extent of the modesty issue for us. I also let them wear *shock* bikinis. Why? Because they are children! They dont have shapely bodies to show off so they can wear basically whatever they choose.

My possibly flammable confession:

I think telling a seven year old that she cant wear a tank top is setting her up for body issues and it almost implies that old notion of 'a girl must keep her self covered lest a boy fancy her too much and not be able to contain himself, and it will be all her fault for being provocative with her naughty ways!' (picture that with a southern accent, fake face fanning and a theatrical faint at the end)

Hope2Have

Scattered... I get what you're saying about babies needing to be modest too, and I struggle with the double standard..... BUT, look at this romper... I can not no matter how risque it might be not let her wear stuff like this for just this summer.. makes me crazy! ;O)

https://www.etsy.com/listing/73855280/the-mia-bubble-romper-with-halter-tie?ref=cat3_gallery_29

Hope2Have

June2007:

Nope.Modesty is not on my radar yet. They are children. When they are teens I dont think they should have shorts up their rears or their breast busting out of their tops but for now they are children. They can wear whatever they like and are comfortable in. I think its ridiculous that people think a young girl can show her thigh or shoulders. I dont encourage my girls to flash their underwear or anything and if DD wants to wear a dress that she loves that is too short I have her wear little shorts or leggings underneath but thats the extent of the modesty issue for us. I also let them wear *shock* bikinis. Why? Because they are children! They dont have shapely bodies to show off so they can wear basically whatever they choose.

My possibly flammable confession:

I think telling a seven year old that she cant wear a tank top is setting her up for body issues and it almost implies that old notion of 'a girl must keep her self covered lest a boy fancy her too much and not be able to contain himself, and it will be all her fault for being provocative with her naughty ways!' (picture that with a southern accent, fake face fanning and a theatrical faint at the end)

I respectfully totally disagree.

goldenleaves

June2007:

 

My possibly flammable confession:

I think telling a seven year old that she cant wear a tank top is setting her up for body issues and it almost implies that old notion of 'a girl must keep her self covered lest a boy fancy her too much and not be able to contain himself, and it will be all her fault for being provocative with her naughty ways!' (picture that with a southern accent, fake face fanning and a theatrical faint at the end)

You know, I totally get where you're coming from! Thanks for giving a reason behind a "different" viewpoint!

MrsAJL

Considering that DD will just be a year old on Saturday, we haven't had to worry about modesty issue. I don't put her in clothes with stuff like "Heartbreaker" or "Fathers lock up your sons" or those crap like that.

I probably won't put her in a baby bikini either.

June2007

Hope2Have:

June2007:

Nope.Modesty is not on my radar yet. They are children. When they are teens I dont think they should have shorts up their rears or their breast busting out of their tops but for now they are children. They can wear whatever they like and are comfortable in. I think its ridiculous that people think a young girl can show her thigh or shoulders. I dont encourage my girls to flash their underwear or anything and if DD wants to wear a dress that she loves that is too short I have her wear little shorts or leggings underneath but thats the extent of the modesty issue for us. I also let them wear *shock* bikinis. Why? Because they are children! They dont have shapely bodies to show off so they can wear basically whatever they choose.

My possibly flammable confession:

I think telling a seven year old that she cant wear a tank top is setting her up for body issues and it almost implies that old notion of 'a girl must keep her self covered lest a boy fancy her too much and not be able to contain himself, and it will be all her fault for being provocative with her naughty ways!' (picture that with a southern accent, fake face fanning and a theatrical faint at the end)

I respectfully totally disagree.

To each their own.

Notice I said almost though, I don't think making your kids wear sleeves will equal issues, there are obviously many many other factors there but I feel like its a start down the wrong path. Obviously many others think that tank tops lead to another wrong path but *shrug* to each their own...

 

MrsAJL

Hope2Have:

Scattered... I get what you're saying about babies needing to be modest too, and I struggle with the double standard..... BUT, look at this romper... I can not no matter how risque it might be not let her wear stuff like this for just this summer.. makes me crazy! ;O)

https://www.etsy.com/listing/73855280/the-mia-bubble-romper-with-halter-tie?ref=cat3_gallery_29

THIS is risque??  Yeah, I think I'm out of this modesty league for sure.

June2007

goldenleaves:

June2007:

 

My possibly flammable confession:

I think telling a seven year old that she cant wear a tank top is setting her up for body issues and it almost implies that old notion of 'a girl must keep her self covered lest a boy fancy her too much and not be able to contain himself, and it will be all her fault for being provocative with her naughty ways!' (picture that with a southern accent, fake face fanning and a theatrical faint at the end)

You know, I totally get where you're coming from! Thanks for giving a reason behind a "different" viewpoint!

I'm glad my POV didnt come off as offensive because I dont think this is one of those issues that are going to make or break girl, KWIM? 

Hope2Have

MrsAJL:

Hope2Have:

Scattered... I get what you're saying about babies needing to be modest too, and I struggle with the double standard..... BUT, look at this romper... I can not no matter how risque it might be not let her wear stuff like this for just this summer.. makes me crazy! ;O)

https://www.etsy.com/listing/73855280/the-mia-bubble-romper-with-halter-tie?ref=cat3_gallery_29

THIS is risque??  Yeah, I think I'm out of this modesty league for sure.

I shouldn't have said the word risque bc for a baby I don't think it is, AT ALL... but someone had mentioned that it shouldnt make a difference if they were a baby or not, and I kinda agree, but rompers on babies are my FAVORITE thing in the world. I don't think its risque at all... bad wording on my part.  That being said, I woudlnt want my 5 year old wearing something so short..

gatogrrl

Hope2Have, that is a totally adorable romper!  I see nothing risque about it at all. 

I am on the "kids are kids" train, though.  I think it's more sexualizing to get all worked up about whether or not you can see a kid's shoulder or thigh.  Who cares?  Kids don't see themselves as sex objects, so why would anyone else. 

(I know there are perverts out there, but I certainly don't think kids' clothing has anything to do with that compulsion.)

The best way to keep your girl modest as a teenager into adulthood, IMO, is to give her brain things to do.  Give her goals beyond attracting men.  Encourage her to think of herself as a whole person, and a fascinating person, for what she does, not what she looks like.  She's not just a collection of tantalizing parts, at any age.

ariel06

I don't have any girls at this point, so maybe my opinions would change if I did.  I think it depends on the purpose of what they are wearing.  I don't have an issue with bikinis as swim wear, as long as it's only worn because it's comfortable swim wear, not to be "sexy".  Tank tops are fine as long as tummies are covered and not too low.  I don't think shorts need to be knee length, but they need to cover more than just their butts. 

I think before the age of two rompers are fine.  I let my boys just wear onesies and boy rompers, so I don't think I'd be different with girls. 

NKR717

June2007:

Nope.Modesty is not on my radar yet. They are children. When they are teens I dont think they should have shorts up their rears or their breast busting out of their tops but for now they are children. They can wear whatever they like and are comfortable in. I think its ridiculous that people think a young girl can show her thigh or shoulders. I dont encourage my girls to flash their underwear or anything and if DD wants to wear a dress that she loves that is too short I have her wear little shorts or leggings underneath but thats the extent of the modesty issue for us. I also let them wear *shock* bikinis. Why? Because they are children! They dont have shapely bodies to show off so they can wear basically whatever they choose.

My possibly flammable confession:

I think telling a seven year old that she cant wear a tank top is setting her up for body issues and it almost implies that old notion of 'a girl must keep her self covered lest a boy fancy her too much and not be able to contain himself, and it will be all her fault for being provocative with her naughty ways!' (picture that with a southern accent, fake face fanning and a theatrical faint at the end)

I agree with all of this. When she gets to the pre-teen stage I will deal with it, if she even gives me a reason too. My mother never really gave me any restrictions, and I  always dressed "modestly." Sometimes I think calling too much attention to something at an early age is setting up for a battle, kind of like they want to push the buttons and see what they can get away with.

Ehh, there are definitely creeps out there but if they are going to look at DD the wrong way, it is probably because they are sick NOT because she is wearing spaghetti straps vs a tank top. DH doesn't want her wearing a two piece in public, so when we go to the community pools or swim lessons I put her in a one piece, so he feels better about it.

Hope2Have

KateB1984:

For me, it's more about adult styles and the purpose of those styles than the actual amount of skin/modesty. For example, I think the romper Hope linked to is adorable.

I don't like bikinis on little girls. I know multiple families with a boy and a girl and the boy is always in trunks with a long sleeved rash guard and the girl is in a bikini. Why do girls need to show skin while boys are sun safe? I already have a rash guard for DD next summer. I'll probably buy a tankini so I can use the bottom with the rashguard for the beach/lake or the tankini top for the pool.

I don't like mini skirts. Like those jean skirts that are in size 2T but pretty much wider than they are long? I know leggings are usually worn underneath, but I feel that miniskirts are an item designed for sex appeal in adults. They frame your a$$ and make your legs look really long. I have no desire to model my DD that way. It's not about modesty... I have the same problem with those shirts that have a bit of gathering at the breasts. Why would we want to give the illusion that a 5 y/o has a bigger chest? The shirt I'm thinking of was long sleeved and didn't show any skin, but to me was too old for a 5 y/o to be wearing.

So I mainly have a problem with styles for young kids that are copied from adult styles that are made for adults to have sex appeal. I don't think it gives the kids sex appeal, but it still is not appropriate for them any more than t-shirts with things like adult political views. Kids should dress like kids.

So mini skirt? No way. But I won't be bothered at all if my DD at 3 or 4 keeps fidgeting with her skirt and sometimes shows her underwear. And as far as the popular concern that some perv may see my kids and get off on it somehow? Doesn't concern me. We would never know about it, it doesn't affect us, it doesn't harm my kids, and I'm not going to waste a single moment worrying about it.

 

You worded my thoughts MUCH better than I did! For me its not so much her showing skin, but I don't want her to be dressing in things that women wear to be sexier... I just wasn't expressing myself well. The romper will be a must for this summer... but like you said, the shirts with the gathering, what's the point? Gathering in an adult shirt is to make the bust bigger... just dont get it at all. But you worded it very well, thanks!

shortstuff15

Modesty is a huge thing that we will teach our girls from the start.  Right now it's not a big deal although we do watch to make sure her skirts/dresses aren't too short, even if they only show her diaper!  We are also already teaching her to not lift up her skirts/dresses/shirts and once she understands more she will definately learn to sit properly in a dress/skirt!

As far as shirts, as long as they are long enough and don't expose too much of her back we take it shirt by shirt.  I wear spaghetti straps myself, but I make sure that my entire bra is hidden so I can't exactly expect my daughter to not wear them!  2 piece swim suits aside from tankini's much later (like high school) will not be accepted though.

With sayings and stuff, well we won't be buying any "future Mrs. Bieber" or whatever shirts that have logo's/sayings like that and even leggings will be up in the air because both me & my husband hate them!

StatlerWaldorf

DD had several spaghetti strap and halter dresses last summer.  She is tall and thin, so in order to get shorts to fit around her waist they end up being pretty short.  She had some dresses that were getting kind of short and I put capri leggings underneath.  I do always put shorts or leggings under dresses or diaper covers when she was in diapers.

LynsiBHM

June2007:

Nope.Modesty is not on my radar yet. They are children. When they are teens I dont think they should have shorts up their rears or their breast busting out of their tops but for now they are children. They can wear whatever they like and are comfortable in. I think its ridiculous that people think a young girl can show her thigh or shoulders. I dont encourage my girls to flash their underwear or anything and if DD wants to wear a dress that she loves that is too short I have her wear little shorts or leggings underneath but thats the extent of the modesty issue for us. I also let them wear *shock* bikinis. Why? Because they are children! They dont have shapely bodies to show off so they can wear basically whatever they choose.

My possibly flammable confession:

I think telling a seven year old that she cant wear a tank top is setting her up for body issues and it almost implies that old notion of 'a girl must keep her self covered lest a boy fancy her too much and not be able to contain himself, and it will be all her fault for being provocative with her naughty ways!' (picture that with a southern accent, fake face fanning and a theatrical faint at the end)

I think modesty depends a lot on the child/ family.  I don't have a DD, but I worked in a preschool for years and had 2-4 year olds that used the word sexy, talked about things like "shaking their booty like Beyonce because she's sexy" and they wore things that were undeniably too risque for a toddler. I distinctly remember one of the little girls asking my why my blouse was buttoned up so high (I only had the top 2 or so buttons of a collared shirt unbuttoned) she said "don't you want to look sexy?" I was speechless.  The same girl often wore juicy (or similar) sweats (you know, the ones that say JUICY on the butt?) and she wore her baithing suit top under her shirt on more than one occasion and called it her bra, as she showed the strap to her friends. I could go on... I'M TALKING ABOUT TODDLERS HERE.

I think if your little girl is wearing a tank top and some short shorts in the backyard because it's 85 degrees outside, no big deal. But when they start picking out those same short shorts and spaghetti straps becuase they think it's going to make them look "cool" then it's an issue.

And please, ladies, don't put your toddler in clothing with words on the butt. WHY would anyone want to draw attention to a child's backside in that manner?? (unless they are 6 months old, and you're drawing attention to the diapered butt by wearing a ruffled romper or something)

Anyway, all i'm saying is, you DO need to worry about this before they are teens.

 

 

ascar29

I have a boy so this doesnt really apply to me. (but for the record ill let him hang out with now shirt on and just shorts in the summer)

Anyway! TOday i was looking at flowergirl dresses on pinterest and i saw a few that were strapless or that like made a V starting in the middle of the top of the dress.. for some reason that just doesnt sit right with me. I seems werid to see a little cute girl in a strapless dress.  

Also, my niece is always in like short leggings (like to the knee or right above) and a t shirt/tank top that is a little longer in the summer. and she looks cute! 

lilone_06

I guess I'm on the liberal side of responses here. I have no problem with two piece swimwear, but make sure to use rashies when sun protection is needed, and don't care for the triangle tops because (a) they seem slutty and (b) they are so hard to keep on! I don't mind short shorts, but abhor the made-to-look-like adult clothes. Yuck. Just my personal style and sense of age appropriateness, though, more so than modesty. To me, it's not so much the amount of skin showing than the manner in which it's shown.

albl508

That romper doesn't bother me. But then again, if I see a baby running around in a diaper it doesn't bother me either. I guess I don't have the mind of a sicko.  I probably won't be dressing my daughter in a bikini only because like others have said, what is the point? I also got some pictures of my baby when she was 6 months old in a tutu and nothing else. Gasp!

 
ETA: I didn't mean YOU have the mind of sicko, OP, if that is how it sounded. Ha!

ascar29

I dont think thats bad at all.. and honestly, look how long it is.. if you  made that into a dress that length for like a 5 year old you wouldnt let her wear it? I think its fine.  

 

 

ETA i just looked at the pictues of it all. I HATE THE FRONT OF IT! It doesnt sit right with me, i hate how it Vs in the middle. If it was just like a halter top or something I wouldnt mind it, but something doesnt sit right with me with that V thing 

LynsiBHM

amy052006:

I sort of feel twitchy about all of the "oh, we will teach our daughters modesty" in this post, and zero discussion about boys.  I don't think anyone means anything by it, but it all plays into the stereotype of making girls cover up and body shaming.

I am much more concerned about any kid I have dressing trashy as opposed to modesty.  To me, it is a non issue with little ones - I am not going to buy hooker clothes anyway.  Once they are teens, I don't think there is anything wrong with dressing to flatter your body in a tasteful way.   

The OP has one child, a daughter.  I don't think the post is supposed to be about the general modesty, body shaming or sexualization of children.

susanmosley

I didn't read all the replies, so this may have been covered. But I dont think the harm in tank tops or shorts is that a shoulder or thigh is showing.  Where I think it goes south is that girls think they should look a certain way in those clothes because of society/media/whatever.  So in a shirt/ swim suit where their stomach is showing, they have the model flat image and put value on that. Thus in those clothes if they aren't looking like the images they know, they don't feel they are as good as they should be, and that's where it snowballs with self esteem issues, anxiety over themselves, or becoming even more risqu? to over compensate and get what they think is approval.  

 This may be a bit of a detour from the original topic, but I think this aspect of girls clothing is more important than what others see.  

 I was listening to some psychologist and author yesterday who said we seem to go straight from Barney to Brittany Spears and are leaving out the Pippi Longstockings, Ramona Quimbys, etc.

I totally buy into the idea that what happens with girls between 6-11 can really affect their future.  It kind if freaks me out.

 I think I really got off topic here.  Meanwhile, my infant wore a ridiculous bikini and my 3 y/o romps around the front yard in various shoulder and leg revealing clothes. So my behavior isn't always in line with my beliefs and theories that I like.

notkateanymore

For us, something are on a case by case basis and some are an all the time rule. I don't let her wear things with writing on them for the most part, as I don't want people starring at her to read them. LOL Weird huh? That REALLY goes for shorts/pants that have writing on the butt, like that tacky Juicy stuff. She only wears one piece bathing suits, but some are halter. She wears shorts and dresses that are pretty short, but she wears monkey bar buddies under them.

As far as dance stuff goes, she wears dance clothes in dance class and then puts something over it to leave. At 7, we don't parade around town in our dance clothes. For jazz and recital class this Spring, she has to wear booty shorts over a leotard with a tank over it...she will also wear pants over those into and out of class...or that's the plan. She sometimes has a mind of her own and I don't go crazy with all of it for the most part. She is a little 7 year old and honestly, if she was bigger like some of her friends I would worry more. They just look more mature...she still looks like a little girl. I wish she could stay that way forever!

SMA!

I just want her to look like a kid and dress her age. She has shorts that are above the knee and tank tops and sundresses with spaghetti straps but they are clearly kids clothing with childlike patterns/cuts.  I would much rather see a little girl in a pair of shorts and a polka dot tank top, than in a long sleeve t-shirt that says "diva" or something along those lines.  I am not especially conservative when it comes to clothes but I dress my age and know how to put together an appropriate outfit given the situation, that is want I am hoping to teach DD to do as well.  

notkateanymore

ascar29:

I dont think thats bad at all.. and honestly, look how long it is.. if you  made that into a dress that length for like a 5 year old you wouldnt let her wear it? I think its fine.  

 

 

ETA i just looked at the pictues of it all. I HATE THE FRONT OF IT! It doesnt sit right with me, i hate how it Vs in the middle. If it was just like a halter top or something I wouldnt mind it, but something doesnt sit right with me with that V thing 

Isn't the V just the straps? DD wore stuff like this all the time...very popular here in the Deep South. 

Hope2Have

LynsiBHM:

amy052006:

I sort of feel twitchy about all of the "oh, we will teach our daughters modesty" in this post, and zero discussion about boys.  I don't think anyone means anything by it, but it all plays into the stereotype of making girls cover up and body shaming.

I am much more concerned about any kid I have dressing trashy as opposed to modesty.  To me, it is a non issue with little ones - I am not going to buy hooker clothes anyway.  Once they are teens, I don't think there is anything wrong with dressing to flatter your body in a tasteful way.   

 

The OP has one child, a daughter.  I don't think the post is supposed to be about the general modesty, body shaming or sexualization of children.

Thanks Lynsi... lol, yep meaning no harm. And about the boys, normally it isnt an issue with boys, long shorts are in style and strappy shirts aren't normally a thing on boys you see on a day to day basis... lol

SMA!

gatogrrl:

The best way to keep your girl modest as a teenager into adulthood, IMO, is to give her brain things to do.  Give her goals beyond attracting men.  Encourage her to think of herself as a whole person, and a fascinating person, for what she does, not what she looks like.  She's not just a collection of tantalizing parts, at any age.

THIS! 

laney75

KateB1984:

For me, it's more about adult styles and the purpose of those styles than the actual amount of skin/modesty. For example, I think the romper Hope linked to is adorable.

I don't like bikinis on little girls. I know multiple families with a boy and a girl and the boy is always in trunks with a long sleeved rash guard and the girl is in a bikini. Why do girls need to show skin while boys are sun safe? I already have a rash guard for DD next summer. I'll probably buy a tankini so I can use the bottom with the rashguard for the beach/lake or the tankini top for the pool.

I don't like mini skirts. Like those jean skirts that are in size 2T but pretty much wider than they are long? I know leggings are usually worn underneath, but I feel that miniskirts are an item designed for sex appeal in adults. They frame your a$$ and make your legs look really long. I have no desire to model my DD that way. It's not about modesty... I have the same problem with those shirts that have a bit of gathering at the breasts. Why would we want to give the illusion that a 5 y/o has a bigger chest? The shirt I'm thinking of was long sleeved and didn't show any skin, but to me was too old for a 5 y/o to be wearing.

So I mainly have a problem with styles for young kids that are copied from adult styles that are made for adults to have sex appeal. I don't think it gives the kids sex appeal, but it still is not appropriate for them any more than t-shirts with things like adult political views. Kids should dress like kids.

So mini skirt? No way. But I won't be bothered at all if my DD at 3 or 4 keeps fidgeting with her skirt and sometimes shows her underwear. And as far as the popular concern that some perv may see my kids and get off on it somehow? Doesn't concern me. We would never know about it, it doesn't affect us, it doesn't harm my kids, and I'm not going to waste a single moment worrying about it.

 

I agree with all of this.  If I had a girl, this is probably how I would think.  

Something else that I remember when I was a kid is that my mom wouldn't allow me to wear black, in general.  She thought it was a mature color and that little girls should wear colors and pastels and white.  And basically black was an adult look.  I didn't get it then, but I do now and I agree.   

JCM

Hope2Have:

Scattered... I get what you're saying about babies needing to be modest too, and I struggle with the double standard..... BUT, look at this romper... I can not no matter how risque it might be not let her wear stuff like this for just this summer.. makes me crazy! ;O)

https://www.etsy.com/listing/73855280/the-mia-bubble-romper-with-halter-tie?ref=cat3_gallery_29

DD wore those types of things all the time in the summer & bikini's too!  I wore things like that when I was little including bikinis's & didn't feel like I wanted to dress like a $lut when I was a pre-teen or teenager & I lived in Hawaii from 13 - 17 & it was completely appropriate to wear shorts & a bikini top to school but I didn't feel the urge to do so even though it was acceptable back then. 

brooketini

SMA!:

I just want her to look like a kid and dress her age. She has shorts that are above the knee and tank tops and sundresses with spaghetti straps but they are clearly kids clothing with childlike patterns/cuts.  I would much rather see a little girl in a pair of shorts and a polka dot tank top, than in a long sleeve t-shirt that says "diva" or something along those lines.  I am not especially conservative when it comes to clothes but I dress my age and know how to put together an appropriate outfit given the situation, that is want I am hoping to teach DD to do as well.  

Ditto all of this. I let DD wear tankinis, shorts, tanks, etc. but I never think she looks inappropriate. I don't let her wear a little triangle bikini, and I try to put something under her skirts or dresses if they don't have built-in shorts.  Maybe I'm shopping in a different place than some of you, but I don't typically see booty shorts and midriff-baring tops for her age group. 

pinkiemo

KateB1984:

 But I won't be bothered at all if my DD at 3 or 4 keeps fidgeting with her skirt and sometimes shows her underwear. And as far as the popular concern that some perv may see my kids and get off on it somehow? Doesn't concern me. We would never know about it, it doesn't affect us, it doesn't harm my kids, and I'm not going to waste a single moment worrying about it.

 

Agree.  To me there's a big difference between a tank top on a hot day and a shirt that says "red hot diva" or "drama queen" something of the like.  I also can't stand boys shirts that say "certified hunk" etc.  Kids in kids shorts or shirts with a little skin showing is no issue for me.

JessesGirl&MackenziesMom

scatteredtrees:

Hope2Have:

Scattered... I get what you're saying about babies needing to be modest too, and I struggle with the double standard..... BUT, look at this romper... I can not no matter how risque it might be not let her wear stuff like this for just this summer.. makes me crazy! ;O)

https://www.etsy.com/listing/73855280/the-mia-bubble-romper-with-halter-tie?ref=cat3_gallery_29

Uh, I didn't say anything anywhere in this thread. Well, except now.

LOL, that confused me too!