From 12-24 month board but will sorta have 2 under 2...How did you handle it when you went to have y

KGF625

Hi. I am a frequent poster on the 12-24 month board. While I wont have 2 under 2 exactly, my second baby will be born just 10 days after my son turns 2 so it is pretty close. I dont know why but tonight I started to get all emotional thinking about what is going to happen the morning I go to the hospital to have the baby. I hate that I am leaving so early and won't be able to say goodbye to my son. I hate that I need to stay in the hospital away from my son, as if I am choosing a new baby over him. I am feeling horrible about all of these thoughts. I also feel like I am not letting myself get as excited about this baby as I could be because I dont want it to be a betrayal to my son. This was planned and I am thrilled, I think my son will love a sibling and won't have a hard time adjusting, but these thoughts just keep clouding my head. Am I nuts? Did anyone feel simliar? If you did, how did it all work out in the end? I am a stay at home mom so all my time is devoted to my son, I don't ever want him to feel like he is being replaced.

Ruggerkitty

No advice, just wanted to say I feel the EXACT same way. My DS will be 2 this month and my DD is due ten days later. I've never spent a night away from DS and it's going to be so hard for me to leave him. 

KGF625

Ruggerkitty:

No advice, just wanted to say I feel the EXACT same way. My DS will be 2 this month and my DD is due ten days later. I've never spent a night away from DS and it's going to be so hard for me to leave him. 

Congratulations! You will have to keep me posted on how it goes!

kcisthebombdotcom

I definitely had similar feelings about going to the hospital-you're totally normal! Just remember it is just a few short days of your life that will go by so quickly.

In terms of feeling like your son is getting the short end of the stick, look at it the other way. While he is losing your undivided attention, he's gaining a built in playmate to have fun with. The relationship the 2 of them have will likely be longer than the one you have with him. Try to focus on the special bond they will have.

Daisy22

don't you just love pregnancy hormones! Seriously, I cried the last month before I had DS2. It was crazy. I think every 2nd or more time mom has these fears. They are totally normal.

My mom, sister, and niece came to take care of DS1 and he had a BLAST while I was in the hospital. Pretty sure he didn't miss me at all. Knowing that he was well taken care of at our house really helped me to relax at the hospital and concentrate on bonding with DS2. Really that time in the hospital in the few days you'll have just yall really bonding. Take every second to take it all in. Your son will be taken care of and will be fine.

I was worried that I woudln't be able to love another like I loved my first. Every mom with more then one told me it just happens. That your heart grows more then ever. You can't really grasp that until #2 is here but it's so true. And the heart of your oldest grows as well. There will be bouts of jealousy but watching my oldest be a big brother is just heart warming.

For when the baby gets here, it's hard but make sure you put the new baby down when he/she is asleep so you have both hand free to give all your attention to your oldest. When DS2 slept I was on the floor playing constantly with DS1. That did mean that DS2 wasn't held as much but it never hurt him. Also know that if both are crying it's okay to let one cry a little longer to deal with the one that needs you more. Once I grasped the fact that it was ok to let one cry a little and there would be no life long damage my life got easier. There were/are plenty of days were I have to way wchih needs me more and go to that child first. HUGS! you will do wonderful

12bailey18

When I was in the hospital having DD my mom watched DS. She's from out of state and doesn't get to visit often so DS had the best time with her. DH was back and forth from the hospital and home so DS didn't really notice anything and we tried to stick with his routine. When DS did visit the hospital I got teary eyed having to say good-bye to him. I missed him so much! However, when we got home everything just felt so natural and everyone took to their new role. There has never been any jealousy issues and I've never felt like I can't devote enough time to DS. It's hard to explain, but your love (and time management skills!) will grow when you have your second. You will probably not even remember a time with just one! I say all the time that the thought of two kids is much scarier than the reality...at least that's been my experience.

VAsjt00

12bailey18:

When I was in the hospital having DD my mom watched DS. She's from out of state and doesn't get to visit often so DS had the best time with her. DH was back and forth from the hospital and home so DS didn't really notice anything and we tried to stick with his routine. When DS did visit the hospital I got teary eyed having to say good-bye to him. I missed him so much! However, when we got home everything just felt so natural and everyone took to their new role. There has never been any jealousy issues and I've never felt like I can't devote enough time to DS. It's hard to explain, but your love (and time management skills!) will grow when you have your second. You will probably not even remember a time with just one! I say all the time that the thought of two kids is much scarier than the reality...at least that's been my experience.

Hi!  I'm in a similar boat as OP--pregnant and also have a 13 month old DS who is the LIGHT of my world.  So scared that he will feel slighted once the new one gets here.  

This really hit home for me--thanks for the great advice and words of wisdom! 

KGF625

Thanks everyone! It is nice to know I am not crazy for feeling the way that I do and that it seems to all work in the end. Damn hormones!!!

kagl08

12bailey18:

When we got home everything just felt so natural and everyone took to their new role. There has never been any jealousy issues and I've never felt like I can't devote enough time to DS. It's hard to explain, but your love (and time management skills!) will grow when you have your second. You will probably not even remember a time with just one! I say all the time that the thought of two kids is much scarier than the reality...at least that's been my experience.

ITA with all of this! I had all these fears and I think it's normal. I thought my DD was going to hate me or resent me later in life. All my fears were irrational looking back but I still had them! Turns out, she didn't even notice!! She doesn't remember life when it was just her and neither do I to be honest. You can never imagine loving anyone as much as your 1st when your 2nd is still inside but you can. My heart double in size the minute DS was born. I can honestly say I love him just as much as his sister. We never had any jealousy either and the fear leading up to 2u2 was WAY worse than actually having 2u2. You will be able to do things that you never thought you could, it just becomes your new "normal" and it's amazing how quickly everything come together!

becky_g

I felt the EXACT same way--you are not nuts!  

My kids are 5 & 4 now (11.5 months apart) and it, of course, worked out wonderfully. They are the best of friends and simply don't know any other way that it should be. They are sisters and that is that.

Your son will not feel like he is being replaced--you are not replacing him.  There will be an adjustment period, but in a few months time your family will be used to its new larger state.

 Just know that this is totally normal. You are anticipating making room in your heart/brain for two little people. It's absolutely possible (and done every day!) but definitely difficult.

 Best of luck to you!