Blended Families
FloF9
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Any Stepmom's or BM ever been step kids?
FloF9
member
Chrysallys post made me think. Were any of your step children? If so, did you or the new person in your mom's or dad's life cause friction?
Was there every an event that created a turning point in your parent's marriage/relationship? whether or not it was caused by how your parent/or the significant other reacted to something?
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Re: Any Stepmom's or BM ever been step kids?
I had a Step Dad (he died) who was a jerk. I'm greatful to him though since he paid for me to go to under grad, and he was good to my Mom.
Step Mom #1 was a biotch. She is the reason that my sister stopped talking to my Dad, and she was abusive to me. She died too.
Now my Dad is married again. This Step Mom is dumb and clueless but she is nice, and makes my Dad happy.
I wanted to add - if there were issues what were they? Behavioral? Jealousy? different parenting styles?
Did your parents do family counseling because of this?
Are you on good terms now? Are there feelings of regret? Are you still harboring resentment? are they?
I got a stepdad at age 24. I was so happy for my mom that she found someone. Homeboy thought that by marrying my MOM he became my dad and tried to yell at me one day.
Yah, mom realized what an ahole she married and kicked him to the curb when I was 27.
So I have been a stepkid albeit breifly.
Brahim - OMG you made me laugh so hard!!! I am here cracking up in my cubicle at work. too funny!
had a step-mom from the time i was 9 until i was, um 26 or 27 i think. i loved her until i was a junior in high school. she turned into a complete *** and picked on me for everything, not my brother, or her golden child son, nor her daughter.
personally i think she was incredibly jealous of the fact that i had a social life and her daughter (who is the same age as me) did not. and why did she not? because her *** of a mother made her stay in gymnastics (as an elite gymnast) so she could score a college scholarship.
she scored that scholarship, flunked out after her 1st semester and is now a gymnastics instructor.
step-mom cheated on my dad and then divorced him. blessing really, but crushed my father.
oh, fwiw, i lived with my dad and step-mom.
i've also had 2 step-dads. mom married the first one when i was 11 and had my sister when i was 12. he was (is) fabulous! they were married for like 6 years (my sis is now 26). mom got bored and divorced him. fortunately we have a loved one in common so i still keep in touch with him. he's a wonderful person and would do anything for my brother or me.
"step- father" #2 was a complete douchbag! i put it in quotes because he was only 3 months older than me so he certainly was never a parental figure. he and mom were married for 3 years or so. he filed for divorce; she cried her eyes out (karmas a ***, you know!). and then when i found out he held a gun to her head and then shot it right over her head one night when he was in high and drunk, i couldn't figure out why she cried over it...:;whew:: whatever. he's now out of the picture and running from the irs for back taxes...state and federal.
My stepmother (stepmonster) has been in my dad's life for 17 years or so. She never had an interest in us, told me to have an abortion when I got pg with my DD, and has always been a golddigger in my mind. My dad recently lost his company, and will soon have no money. We'll see how long she stays around. FYI, after 17 years she still doesn't know how to spell my name.
My stepfather was married to my mom from the ages of 7-12. He was an alcoholic. He didn't try to interfere in our relationship with our dad at all, but at that point my dad had moved away and wasn't really participating with us anyway. SO.
Yep, I've had stepparents, but the relationships are very different than the realtionship we have with DH's ex.
I have a stepmom who came into the picture when I was 2. My mom passed away when I was 1. It wasn't even a year after my mom passed that my dad met her, got her pg and then married her. They made us call her mom when my sister was born so that she wouldn't learn to call her by her first name instead of mom. She treated us as her own until we all started going to school. She always treated my younger sister better than my older sister and I. When we wanted to do something we always had my younger sister ask because she would never say no to her. My younger sister even go away with saying, "She isn't even your mom" when she was mad at us or something.
My sister still depends on her and she has taken care of my sister by paying her rent, buying her cars, taking care of my nephew things she would never do for my older sister and I. I don't have a good relationship with her now. We see her for holidays and stuff but that is it.
Kyah - no kidding!
I was hoping to find some positive ones - like as a kid they realized how tough it was for the step parent, and now that they're a step parent they know what NOT to do, etc....
I think it was a learning experience about what NOT to do now that I am the step parent. I know how I felt and I NEVER want my step kids to be treated the way I was.
I was thinking more along the lines of let's say....J+K's SD planting phony evidence in J+K's house - trying to make it look like her dad was having an affair. People who gave their step parents hell and now are step parents.
I think there has been a shift in perspectives somewhat since I was growing up. When I was younger, I was the only one I knew who had divorced parents, and therefore, the only one I know who ended up with a stepdad. I think the perspective was that stepparents should have a different role.
Now, I think parents in general are expected to be more involved with their kids - step or bio. I know I am a hell of a lot more involved with my kids and what they're doing than my mom was.
Yeah, these stories are making me so sad.
Wow - Yes not too many positive stories, but thanks for the responses ladies!
I was technically a stepkid but I feel uncomfortable referring to myself that way, just as I feel uncomfortable referring to him at my stepdad.
He is my father in every way that ever counts. I was 12 when he married my mom. He brought out and still brings out the best in her and a made her into a better mother. He was also the best dad a girl could get. Even now, I'm 27 years old and he's my dad first and then my friend. I think he's pretty awesome.
Click me, click me!
I can help a little. My mom and stepdad got together when I was in high school. He was pretty good about taking more of a pal role than dad role because my dad is very involved in my life. Now, I work with my mom and stepdad. I respect all my parents for maintaining a good relationship. It allows us have dinners and celebrations without horrible tension that I see most other children of divorce dealing with.
Officially, no, I'm not a stepkid, but unofficially, yes, I have a stepmom.
My dad and his girlfriend lived together for about 15 years, starting when I was in highschool. I love her! She's very very different from my mom, and doesn't always get me, but has always been sweet, loving and supportive. She's always acted more like a friend or a big sister with just a dash of mom-attitude
My dad and "SM" were engaged for a couple years, but eventually she left him. I kept in touch with her for several ears after that - she came to my wedding and my baby shower... but I haven't seen her in the last year because she's trying hard to move on as she's been stuck on my dad even though she knows he'll never change. 
My mom almost got married once... to a horrible controlling jerk who I hated with all the passion of a 13yo, and it would have been a nightmare. She finally saw him for what he was, but only after he hit her.