1st Trimester

my vented FB post

way to start a new year. A bit disappointed in the family. My husband and I brake our exciting news to everyone and right away we are hit with a wave of financial questions. We get it. We are grown ups and have decided to accept and embrace the circumstances without allowing ourselves to get caught up in the "What if" tangle. couldn't the negative concerns wait for at least a day or two? Until a more appropriate time? Way to pile on stress.
Also, I understand I am acting erratically, but perhaps the people I offend should try to understand that I am going through ALOT! If I apologize- accept the damn apology!

 

Yup. posted it and deleted 4 friends.  

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Re: my vented FB post

  • BTW- No- I am not being dramatic and shouting this to the world- I am only friends on FB with 11- my friends and family (including MIL whom I am upset with).  I can't it when people share personal info like this on FB and have hundreds of friends. 
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  • I'm sorry you were bombarded with that. This should be a happy time for everyone.  And PS... you have every right to be emotional and to behave erratically!  You're pregnant!
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  • How many of your friends made negative comments - was it just the 4 you deleted?
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  • I don't think you're overreacting at all.  This is between you and hubby, not them.  They need to mind their own business.
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  • 1 rude SIL who walked out on the news

    1 rude SIL who ignored me all night after the drama with my husband and I

    then just 2 others who I haven't talked to in years on FB. I didn't want to let them in on the drama, especially if we aren't even FB talking.  

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  • Since it sounds like it's your husband's side that is having the issue, maybe he needs to talk to them privately about this. If they have strong opinions, he's not going to change their minds. But he can at least let them know the two of you do not want to hear any other negative comments about this pregnancy.
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  • :(
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  • imageGhostMonkey:

    Between this and your other post, you need to get the hell off the internet and do some yoga or something. You are massively overreacting. Neither of your reactions are remotely rational.

    ETA: And I noticed in the other post you mentioned your husband is going to Basic soon. You need to learn how to handle yourself far better than this if you are going to have any chance at surviving as a military wife. Not only for your marriage, but also to be accepted by the other spouses. Immature impulse reactions are frowned upon. It reflects poorly on you and your husband and will be detrimental to his career.

    Learn to control yourself. If for nothing else- your children do not deserve to be treated the way you treated them. Putting them in the middle of an argument is extremely immature.

     

    I'm going to have to agree with GhostMonkey, after having read all your posts. You're acting very irrationally. Being pregnant does not give you free reign to act like a b!tch to everyone around you. I understand you're upset with your family and his family for not jumping up with joy over your news, but it sounds like they're bringing up valid concerns, probably because they care for you. I say just take a break from communicating with them for a bit till you cool off and start thinking rationally.

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  • I think ghostmonkey has a lot of room to be talking about people being online too much...  over forty thousand posts on this board alone.  
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  • imagejbhutchens:
    I think ghostmonkey has a lot of room to be talking about people being online too much...  over forty thousand posts on this board alone.  

    Comprehension fail.  GM doesn't care how much time the OP spends online but is suggesting she make better use of her time to take part in something to lessen her stress/anxiety/anger/whatever.  Fail two is that her post count is the website wide and over many years.   

    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • It must be very frustrating and hard for you that your family is not supportive and that they behaved the way they did. You can not change the way they act, feel, or what they say BUT you have full control over yourself. You can choose to go down the path where you are acting just as immature as them (which IMO is how you are acting now, no better than them) OR you can rise above the situation and move on with life.

     

    Also, something to think about. Do they have valid reasons for asking you questions about your financial situation or future? 

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  • Also, I can completely understand not being excited about a family members pregnancy. My step-sister has two kids (5 yrs apart), not that it matters but they have different fathers. She doesn't work, by choice, lives off WIC & food stamps, lives with her mom & is still the "party girl" leaving her kids with her mom constantly.

    So yes, when I heard she was PG with #2, I was NOT excited. I did not belittle or say anything negative to her what so ever BUT knew that she couldn't provide for the one she had because of the life choices she is making. 

    I dearly love my two nephews but that does not mean I think what their mom does is ok. 

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  • imagejbhutchens:
    I think ghostmonkey has a lot of room to be talking about people being online too much...  over forty thousand posts on this board alone.  
    Fail. Thanks for playing and happy new year.
    July 20th, 2012: Never forget the day the fb douchebags tried so hard, but ultimately failed. Viva la October 2011! Yeah, I called you douchebags.

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  • Another reason I hate FB...drama

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  • imageLoisLane23:

    Who has a FB with only 11 (now 7) friends?

    Ha! I was wondering the same thing! 

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  • imagebyrne15:
    Another reason I hate FB...drama

    Eh, the drama is there, regardless of FB.

    OP sounds pretty immature.  If the whole family is reacting the same way, you can bet there is good reason! 

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  • imageLoisLane23:

    Who has a FB with only 11 (now 7) friends?

    Just a guess, but maybe someone who "rips peoples heads off" then blames it on pregnancy hormones?
    July 20th, 2012: Never forget the day the fb douchebags tried so hard, but ultimately failed. Viva la October 2011! Yeah, I called you douchebags.

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    BFP 1/18/11, EDD 10/1/11. Born at 37w5d on 9/15/11. AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

    ***BFP Chart***

    "There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

  • imageLoisLane23:
    imageHappyAardvark:
    imageLoisLane23:

    Who has a FB with only 11 (now 7) friends?

    Just a guess, but maybe someone who "rips peoples heads off" then blames it on pregnancy hormones?

    Touche. Actually, my family is the only people I keep off my FB.

    Haaa now that is brilliant.
    July 20th, 2012: Never forget the day the fb douchebags tried so hard, but ultimately failed. Viva la October 2011! Yeah, I called you douchebags.

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    BFP 1/18/11, EDD 10/1/11. Born at 37w5d on 9/15/11. AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

    ***BFP Chart***

    "There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

  • I would be upset too.  They should be supportive and happy for you, not make you feel bad.
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  • OP, you're on the list.  And you've been color coded.

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    Unable to even.  

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    You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK.  Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.



  • I think your family thinks you are immature and they are frustrated with how irresponsible you are.   This is why they weren't as excited about your pregnancy as you may be.  To be honest, I can't say that I blame them at all.  If my sister/cousin/family member was so poor that she couldn't pay her utilities and needed money from family to get by and yet she got pregnant, I probably wouldn't be jumping up and down for her either.
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  • imageCinemaGoddess:

    OP, you're on the list.  And you've been color coded.

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    Nina is taking note.

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  • 1st- At the moment. money is tight. Has NOT always been so.  My DH  lost his job a couple of months ago, and we have re bound plans underway. I can understand if we were next to homelessness or on WIC and food stamps, but it's really not needed- it's just tight right now. If only rich ppl were allowed to get pregnant, I doubt this board woul be viable.

    2nd- Seriously? Had I cussed up a storm and called ppls names out and made a huge scene, I would understand the comments of being immature. I didn't, did I?

     

    FYI- I keep a small number of ppl on FB because I think it's over rated and unlik alot of ppl, when I post pictures of my family outings and post family info, I don't like the whole world knowing.

     

    For ppl talking about spending a lot of time on the internet, you sure have alot of time to not only read my post, but the other ones I made as well, the las 30 OPs comments, and think  of a sly comment for yourself. Who honestly is the one that needs a break? 

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  •  

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    Unable to even.  

    ********************

    You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK.  Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.



  • imagejbhutchens:
    I think ghostmonkey has a lot of room to be talking about people being online too much...  over forty thousand posts on this board alone.  

     

    No please! Pay attention darlin'. It says on the side when a person joined. 40,000 over 5 years. Check your stuff first lol.

     

    And CinemaGoddess...I absolutely love your ridiculously long siggy!!!! It had me laughing so hard that my fiance thought I went into the bathroom and got high lol!!!!!

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  • imageStacy&gil:

    1st- At the moment. money is tight. Has NOT always been so.  My DH  lost his job a couple of months ago, and we have re bound plans underway. I can understand if we were next to homelessness or on WIC and food stamps, but it's really not needed- it's just tight right now. If only rich ppl were allowed to get pregnant, I doubt this board woul be viable.

    2nd- Seriously? Had I cussed up a storm and called ppls names out and made a huge scene, I would understand the comments of being immature. I didn't, did I?

     

    FYI- I keep a small number of ppl on FB because I think it's over rated and unlik alot of ppl, when I post pictures of my family outings and post family info, I don't like the whole world knowing.

     

    For ppl talking about spending a lot of time on the internet, you sure have alot of time to not only read my post, but the other ones I made as well, the las 30 OPs comments, and think  of a sly comment for yourself. Who honestly is the one that needs a break? 

    Having a hard time paying utilities and needing money from family is more than what I would call "tight".   

    Storming over to your IL's house, making a scene, yelling at your DH, dropping the kids off and storming away is immature.  Also, not taking the proper precautions and getting pregnant when you are not in any position to take care of another baby is immature. Saying everyone ELSE has a problem and not reflecting on your own  deficits is also immature.  Deleting family from FB because you don't like how they react?  Also immature.  I could go on and on in all the different ways I think you're immature actually.   

    DS1 10-06 and DS2 9-08 and baby #3 EDD 9-05-12
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  • imageStacy&gil:

    1st- At the moment. money is tight. Has NOT always been so.  My DH  lost his job a couple of months ago, and we have re bound plans underway. I can understand if we were next to homelessness or on WIC and food stamps, but it's really not needed- it's just tight right now. If only rich ppl were allowed to get pregnant, I doubt this board woul be viable.

    2nd- Seriously? Had I cussed up a storm and called ppls names out and made a huge scene, I would understand the comments of being immature. I didn't, did I?

     

    FYI- I keep a small number of ppl on FB because I think it's over rated and unlik alot of ppl, when I post pictures of my family outings and post family info, I don't like the whole world knowing.

     

    For ppl talking about spending a lot of time on the internet, you sure have alot of time to not only read my post, but the other ones I made as well, the las 30 OPs comments, and think  of a sly comment for yourself. Who honestly is the one that needs a break? 

    It takes all but 2 seconds to scroll down half a page and see your other two ridiculously whiny posts...Confused 

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  • imageCinemaGoddess:

     

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  • imageDemoDoll:
    imageLoisLane23:

    Who has a FB with only 11 (now 7) friends?

    Ha! I was wondering the same thing! 

     

    Yes I was wondering this as well.. odd. 

    lolololo
  • imageMissMusic:

    Oh good, another mature genius procreating!  Just what the world needs.

    FWIW, I got a few "odd" comments when we told everyone, such as "...did you guys plan this?!" All it takes is a few seconds to make your point in a clear & polite way.  Stomping off or cutting off family members really didn't cross my mind.

     

    What?! Why not?? Isn't that the best way to handle things??? We're pregnant and we're allowed to be upset 24/7 so obviously we should because everyone else is wrong and we're right!!!!1!!!one!!!1!!

    /end sarcasm

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  • MissMusic, haven't you already been warned about your excessive use of logic on these boards?? Do you need a spanking?
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  • To me it sounds like you want everyone to say how right you are and how horrible your family is but honestly you are very ill prepared. Money is tight which doesnt make it ideal for another child no one says you have to be rich but you also should have your life in a position that your not taking money from ppl to cover your bills and say that its no ones business about your money. I have a cousin money isnt great for her she has two kids already shes having another now when she announced she was pregnant I didnt jump for joy for her either she isnt in the best place to have another and there are several complicating factors that I will not get into because they are her life but they make the situation really kinda awful and I pray her sons never find out about them. Your family will love your child but part of being an adult is being responsible for your decisions and some times we have to answer for them
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  • imageStacy&gil:

    way to start a new year. A bit disappointed in the family. My husband and I brake our exciting news to everyone and right away we are hit with a wave of financial questions. We get it. We are grown ups and have decided to accept and embrace the circumstances without allowing ourselves to get caught up in the "What if" tangle. couldn't the negative concerns wait for at least a day or two? Until a more appropriate time? Way to pile on stress.
    Also, I understand I am acting erratically, but perhaps the people I offend should try to understand that I am going through ALOT! If I apologize- accept the damn apology!

     

    Yup. posted it and deleted 4 friends.  

    Posting things on Facebook is not, in my opinion, the best way to address family problems. Remember, you are alienating the people that you, your husband, your current children, and the LO on the way will need the most. Perhaps deleting that comment is the most diffusing thing you can do. Yes, your hormones are raging, but the  people receiving your wrath are not going to be super sympathetic to that if you keep verbally attacking them. You catch alot more flies with honey than vinegar, right? Good luck to you.  

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  • imagehijoi:

    This was exactly what I needed to read this morning.  I needed a good chuckle to start the new year off right.  Nothing does that better than self-righteous posts about how EVERYONE in the world is mean to them.  Honey, if it's everyone, then it's not them, it's you.

    Happy(?) New year!

    truth

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  • imageStacy&gil:

    1st- At the moment. money is tight. Has NOT always been so.  My DH  lost his job a couple of months ago, and we have re bound plans underway. I can understand if we were next to homelessness or on WIC and food stamps, but it's really not needed- it's just tight right now. If only rich ppl were allowed to get pregnant, I doubt this board woul be viable.

    2nd- Seriously? Had I cussed up a storm and called ppls names out and made a huge scene, I would understand the comments of being immature. I didn't, did I?

     

    FYI- I keep a small number of ppl on FB because I think it's over rated and unlik alot of ppl, when I post pictures of my family outings and post family info, I don't like the whole world knowing.

     

    For ppl talking about spending a lot of time on the internet, you sure have alot of time to not only read my post, but the other ones I made as well, the las 30 OPs comments, and think  of a sly comment for yourself. Who honestly is the one that needs a break? 

    1st of all according to previous posts of yours, you're worried about your lack of symptoms, so I can't imagine what kind of a witch you'll be when morning sickness kicks in.  You're only 6 weeks, It's going to be a long 8 months for you. 

    2nd of all my BIL and SIL lost their jobs and were in a tight spot for a while and DH and I, along with his parents (especially his parents) all chipped in and helped them out as much as we could.  I can't say, if they announced they were pregnant, that any of us would have been terribly excited.  It's irrresponsible. 

    I tried to say this nicely in my response to another post of yours the other day, but if you can bite someone's head off just because you're 6 weeks pregnant, then I can certainly do the same seeing as though I'm carrying twins (isn't that the logic here).  I don't ever want to hear the words"unexpected", "suprised", or "shocked"  when you're speaking in reference to a pregnancy where you conceived through negligence. If you don't have a fertility issue (making getting pregnant at all a genuine surprise) and you're not using ANY kind of protection WHAT PART ABOUT GETTING PREGNANT WOULD BE A "SURPRISE"??? Thats kinda how it happens.  Who are you??? One of the girls on 16 and Pregnant?

    I can understand how your families reactions were hurtful.  No matter the timing, babies are a blessing.  But all of your reactions have been way out of line too. You've got to understand where they're coming from. Not that you're dirt poor but you've said your self that money is tight right now.  I can understand that, everyone goes through tough times, and there's nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it.  But if family members are giving you money, and in a sense helping to support you, then you're situation is very similar to a teenager getting pregnant when the parents are the one's financially supporting them.  It's fine for you to be excited about this pregnancy, and try not to let their reactions dampen your joy, they'll come around.  But you've got to learn some self control and deal with your issues in a more mature way, or no one is ever going to believe you're responsible enough to handle this. 

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  • Your family's reaction to your pregnancy speaks volumes about who you are as a person, and the likely hood that you will be able to successfully support this baby on your own (financially and emotionally.) Please for the love of God, seek some parenting classes, and keep your trap shut and your ears and eyes open during them. You have a lot of growing up to do if you don't want to raise someone who is as ill prepared for life on life's terms as you are.
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  • imageStacy&gil:

    way to start a new year. A bit disappointed in the family. My husband and I brake our exciting news to everyone and right away we are hit with a wave of financial questions. We get it. We are grown ups and have decided to accept and embrace the circumstances without allowing ourselves to get caught up in the "What if" tangle. couldn't the negative concerns wait for at least a day or two? Until a more appropriate time? Way to pile on stress.
    Also, I understand I am acting erratically, but perhaps the people I offend should try to understand that I am going through ALOT! If I apologize- accept the damn apology!

     

    Yup. posted it and deleted 4 friends.  

    I LOVE passive aggressive status updates! They accomplish so much. 

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  • imageStacy&gil:

    way to start a new year. A bit disappointed in the family. My husband and I brake our exciting news to everyone and right away we are hit with a wave of financial questions. We get it. We are grown ups and have decided to accept and embrace the circumstances without allowing ourselves to get caught up in the "What if" tangle. couldn't the negative concerns wait for at least a day or two? Until a more appropriate time? Way to pile on stress.
    Also, I understand I am acting erratically, but perhaps the people I offend should try to understand that I am going through ALOT! If I apologize- accept the damn apology!

     

    Yup. posted it and deleted 4 friends.  

    And posting a passive aggressive comment on a social network site is the mature way to deal with things. 

    People will not just automatically understand that you are going through a lot without the proper communication skills.  

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  • imageaaatoaad:

    imagejbhutchens:
    I think ghostmonkey has a lot of room to be talking about people being online too much...  over forty thousand posts on this board alone.  

     

    No please! Pay attention darlin'. It says on the side when a person joined. 40,000 over 5 years. Check your stuff first lol.

     

    And CinemaGoddess...I absolutely love your ridiculously long siggy!!!! It had me laughing so hard that my fiance thought I went into the bathroom and got high lol!!!!!

     

    This is supposed to be a community where women can feel that they are supported through a stressful and life changing event.  SHAME ON ALL OF YOU FOR POINTING FINGERS AT SOMEONE WHO HAS HAD MORE BAD LUCK OR STRESS THAN YOURSELVES!  Or, maybe you're all just dillusional that your little world is perfect and that others have to conform to what you think is "right".

    Seriously?  Get off of the damn internet and parent your children.  I will find the information and support that I came to the bump looking for somewhere else.

    And here is some basic math for you:

    Poster has been a member for 5 years

    5x365=1825 (and statistically, one of those was a leap year, so we will say 1826, but I will subtract 1 day for the day she gave birth to her child in 2011, so 1825)

    40,000/1825=21.92 posts per day over the past 5 years...and that is WITH giving her a little bit of wiggle room.

     

     

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