DH vent

kgibs009

My DH is a great guy and I love him with all my heart. He is great with DD... until she is really fussy or has a melt down. She has a great temperment, so those incidents are rare but they do happen. When she is fussy he is always commenting on how she doesnt like him, how she is being a brat, and why doesnt she act like that with me. When she has a true melt down- he freaks out. He gets mad... sits her down while she is still crying.. curses.. and sometimes tells her to shut up. I have fussed at him over and over. Told him not to say those things and that if she is having a melt down it is bc she needs/wants something. His sister has fussed at him too. He says he is working on it, but it always happens again. When I work on the weekends he has her alone and I almost dont want to go to work tomorrow bc of it. SIGH.

becasmeca

Tell him to lay her down in a safe place and repeat " I am calm --- cool---and collected! Everything is going to be alright"! 

AmyLaurel89

I agree with her advice. I get frustrated too and it always helps me to walk away for just a moment and calm down. I have to remind myself that she is counting on me to be calm enough to help her and it's my job to figure out what she needs. Plus I remember that other parents go through the exact same thing which helps me to work through the really bad meltdowns. 

Also your DH seems to think that you have skills he doesn't have (like the comments about her not being fussy with you) and so he may be frustrated by his perceived failure as a dad. Ask him if he would like more information and give lots of positive feedback. Those two things always help my DH. Hope that helps.  

WeWearCombatBoots

Sometimes its ok to just set them down in their crib and walk away, rather than lose your temper with a baby. Sadly, there isn't much you can do to change his behavior, but I would let him know that if he has done everything he knows to do, its better to just let her CIO in her crib than to get mad and yell at her. DH and I do not believe in CIO, but there have been some times that we have been alone that both of us have had to do this. I know twice I have had to just put LO in his crib, turn on the mobile, shut the door, and go lay down for 5 or 10 minutes take a breather.

kgibs009

Thanks for the feedback ladiesa i just get so annoyed with him when he acts that way. I will def. use your advice!!! I would much ratheer him walk away then yell at DD! I needed that vent! He said everything went well today while I was at work, so I feel a little more confident anyway.