Going out after baby — The Bump
February 2012 Moms

Going out after baby

Here's the pre-story:

A couple-friend of ours has a 6 month old baby. We invited a few friends(10) over to our place for New Years this year because I don't feel like going out. This friend called me today saying she didn't realize that we were planning the party so late (7pm) and they don't think they'll be able to come now. 

I set up the nursery with our Pack n Play (I don't want her baby in my crib before my baby gets to use it) and thought they would be spending the evening here. She's concerned that this will disrupt the baby's sleeping patterns, sleeping in a different setting. So now they're coming, but only staying for an hour.

And now my question:

This seems a little bit extreme to me. I am a FTM, so I really don't know, but I imagined that if I had a 6 month old, as long as there was somewhere safe to put them to sleep, I'd take them with me. Am I crazy to think that this is possible?

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Re: Going out after baby

  • No, I don't think you are crazy, but every mother is going to be different with what they are comfortable with for their child.
  • I'm a FTM too so take what I say with a grain of salt. Honestly I probably wouldn't take my LO to sleep over at a friend's house. Some babies have a very hard time getting into a sleep routine and I don't blame your friend for not wanting to disrupt it.

    My in laws have a vacation home and DH and I visit them there several times a year but we'll probably put off visiting with LO for several months (and their house has EVERYTHING we could possibly need to be comfortable including an extra master bedroom with bathroom for DH and I).

      ETA: If I was your friend I'd ask the grandparents to babysit and attend your party without LO.

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  • At 6 months, DS could have slept at someone's house in a pack and play while I hung out with friends. My sister's 6 months old, on the other hand, is veeeeery specific when it comes to naps and bed time. She's a very good baby, her sleep just needs structure. So I can understand your friend leaving early. 
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  • I'm a FTM too, but I think it depends on the child. When my nephew was an infant, we could put him down(to sleep) anywhere. My niece is currently 6 months old and we can put her down anywhere too, but she usually fights it if there is a lot of commotion. She wants to be involved. But maybe her baby is a terrible sleeper and she's uncomfortable with trying to put him down over there with him screaming and crying. Maybe it took a really long time to get him on a schedule that works and she doesn't want to rock the boat.

    Personally, I really hope my child is the kind that I can put down to sleep wherever we are.

  • We used to do this when our baby was that little. We are the first of our friends to have kids, and I sometimes just needed to get out and see other people.  We'd bring our own Pack n Play, pop it in a guest room, and enjoy the evening.  But our son was a very good sleeper at that age, was used to sleeping in Pack n Play at the sitter's, and didn't need complete quiet to sleep (in fact last year, we had people at our condo for NYE, and ate and partied and played games all night, and he slept through the entire thing, even though we were just outside his room.)  Now, he's 20 months, and we declined an invitation to our friend's house because we know it won't go as well anymore.  Every kid is different. It isn't crazy to think that it is possible, but you will find that sometimes it isn't worth the hassle. 


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  • I am a mom who has raised her kids with a "have kids will travel" mentality. My kids have always been very flexible with where they sleep. And imo one night of possibly disrupted sleep isn't going to do a lot of harm to any child. But every mom has her own way of doing things, so I wouldn't sweat it. Enjoy the hour they are there & then have fun with everyone else when they leave.
  • Depends on the kid.  DS is pretty high strung and the conditions have to be right for him to sleep well - always have been.  I guess he would probably have been ok at your house in a pack n play, but then I'd have to spend the night because there is no way I would wake him up, take him home and then try to get back to bed.  Hopefully this kid is a little more easy going.

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  • I never bring DD to any get togethers. It's to much of a hassle. However I would be calling grandma to babysit. 
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  • Totally depends on the kid. My DD is not a good sleeper and I would not have been able to do that with her (probably still couldn't at age 2, to be honest). Most babies would be OK with it but some would not.
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  • When my DD was young, I could not have done it. She was/is a light sleeper and it would have made for a miserable night for us and her.

    It does depend on the child.  

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  • In my own personality, I would never care and bring my LO along anyway - but DH and I enjoy doing things, and our friends are like family to us - so they want us to bring her along. Some people aren't like this though. DH's brother and wife NEVER come out after a certain hour (they are probably going to be in bed by 12:01 tonight to be honest) - and they don't even have children!
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  • Not only are babies all different, but even a "flexible sleeper" can have a bad night. Personally, when i go out to party or spend the evening wanting to relax or have fun with friends i just prefer to not bring my LO along anyways... Everyone will be having a good time and possibly getting a little loud and it could disturb LO's sleep, and I would constantly feel the need to go check on him/her. I would rather get someone to baby-sit, as PP's have said... So i can just enjoy the evening without worry, and i won't have to wake baby to go home, or sleep in someone else's house having to dig around in a stuffed bag full of all of baby's things. Just would make me feel a little frazzled, but that's just how *I* am... 
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  • At 6 months DS was a crappy sleeper.  I wouldn't want the stress of worrying about him not going to sleep at a friend's house or not being able to console him, etc.  Plus, it really sucks when one of you has to remain sober and then there's the drive home with all the drunks on the road.  That's not a risk we take with our kids.  Oh, and if he was asleep at a friends house we'd be faced with the potentially terrible task of waking him up, getting him in his seat, driving home, and praying he goes back to sleep once home.
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  • Every baby is different. Some will sleep anywhere and others (like my son) will only sleep at home in their crib. I didn't take DS anywhere overnight until he was much older.

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  • At 6 months my DS was waking up every 45 minutes and wanted to be held all the time. He was a terrible sleeper and it wasn't til about 14 mons where he finally STTN. Like other poster have said, every baby is different. My sis' kid can nap just about anywhere whereas mine will only sleep well in his crib. Ours is very structured and hers is very flexible. My kid also goes to bed by 8pm every night and hers is a crap shoot- anywhere from 9pm- midnight. DS thrives now with the correct amount of sleep. He is super happy and laughs all the time. When he doesn't get enough sleep, then I can expect a not so great day. I am guilty of accepting and declining invites based on DS' sleep/nap schedule. But for me, my kid's well being is super important. If I need a day off to hang with my friends, I'll find a baby sitter or have grandma watch him.
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  • This is totally one of those things that you can't know until you are actually a mom.  I said so many times that LO would sleep wherever and whenever I said so he could come along to whatever we needed him to.  Once you get your LO on a sleep schedule it seriously feels like a fate worse than death to mess them up.  Like PP's said, some are flexible, some are not.  But, all mothers worry about anything messing up their LO's sleep schedule.

    And, I agree with the PP that said your friend would have to spend the night because transporting the baby home would wake him/her up and they would have to re-do her whole bedtime routine. 

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