2nd tri loss ladies

Mjmksb04

Especially if you were induced--how was the L&D and recovery? Did your milk come in? When were you able to go back to work? I am being induced in a few days due to the baby having life threatening issues and am just wondering what to expect. Adding another loss to my life

Mjmksb04

Yeah, if I wasn't living it, I really wouldn't believe something like this could happen twice. According to the genetic counselor, DD's heart issue and the placenta issue with this pg are completely unrelated flukes.

foxxy1

OMG! I'm so, so sorry for you! 

I lost my son, Ethan, just recently at 22 weeks. I went into labor naturally and delivered vaginally. My milk came in about a couple days later and it was unexpected as no one told me it would (which I thought was odd). I did express some milk because my breasts just hurt! But the milk did dry up after a few days.

I'm still physically recovering (read: bleeding but it's like a period and it's very light). I went back to work just this past Tuesday after being on bed rest for about two weeks and my arrangements with work is to be on a minimum schedule. I recommend talking to your boss and/or HR representative to make accommodations as well.  

My doctor told me to keep taking my prenatals for recovery and prescribed me tylenol to relieve any cramps. 

Jackie2200

I am so sorry you have to go through this. Physically, its not too bad. L&D are easy physically-ii was up and walking around about an hour after the epi was removed. They may give you a really strong epi since they don't want you to feel any pain at all since its going to be so hard emotionally. That's what they did with me. My milk came in so I'm sure yours will too. I went back to work after 11 days. Physically, I was more than fine and could have gone back earlier emotioanally, I could have stayed off work for a year. Hugs. I'm so sorry for your loss(es).

johnnys june

Oh, honey.  This is so unfair!  I'm literally in tears for you too!!!!  *huge hugs*  

I went into preterm labor at 25 weeks and was actually given an emergency c-section.  They were afraid Logan was too small for birth and wanted to give him the best options for surviving (even though slim).  So, with that said, recovery was much harder.  I had been having full blown contractions 1 - 2 minutes apart so everything on my body was rigid by the time I got the c-section.  Vaginal delivery will be very different.

Milk.  Yes, my milk came in.  Full throttle.  Colostrum for 3 days, the 3rd day, my bbs got huge and hard overnight.  I pumped because Logan was in the NICU and I was still hopeful.  After he passed, it took me 2 weeks to ween down the pumping, and eventually I went cold turkey and it took 3 days for them to dry up completely.  It was horrible.  I would suggest NOT pumping or stimulating at all.  

Work -- I took 5 weeks maternity leave to heal from the c-section and to grieve.  I actually made the choice to come to work because I wasn't eligible for FMLA yet so I was at risk of losing my job.  It was probably for the best though.  I needed to get out of the house and find some sort of routine.

 Again, I am so sorry hun!  I'm sending you and your loved ones all the prayers I can.  I know this won't help you feel better, but please know we are here for you.  My heart breaks for you. 

Auki13

I had a third tri loss so I don't have advice- I just wanted to send some (((HUGE HUGS))).  I am so sorry you have to go through this not once but twice.  It seems like life can really blow sometimes.

dandywarhol

My heart breaks for you and your family.  It isn't fair. 

I gave birth to my daughter at 21w.  I wasn't induced so I can't comment on that.  They talked about getting me an epi but it all happened so quickly that there wasn't time.  They gave me some kind of painkiller - phenotol? or something which dulled the pain, made me woozy, and wore off after 45 minutes.  Sylvie was only 13oz so the vaginal delivery wasn't much of an issue.  I was up and walking in about an hour.  I bled for about 4-5 weeks after delivery.  My milk did come in but lasted less than a week.  I welcomed the pain from my milk letting down and it was one of the few physical connections to Sylvie. 

 

weddedwife

I went into preterm labor at 22 weeks 4 days. It went very quickly, from start to finish I think the whole thing was like 6 hours. By the time I got to the hospital I was 4cm dilated and the bag was bulging. They didn't have time to give me any pain meds so I delivered med free. I won't lie, the delivery was VERY painful even though my son was only just over 1 lb. The labor was just like laboring with my DD, but on a slightly smaller scale, if that makes sense. Smaller baby= smaller labor, from what I've been told. I had no clue I was going to deliver our son when I showed up at the hospital- I knew I was having contractions but I just thought they'd give me some drugs to stop labor. So I didn't know in advance was I was expecting.

 I think it depends on your hospital what you will encounter in L&D. I was laboring in a room right next to a full-term mama & I could hear her baby's heartbeat on the doppler, which was crushing. But once they realized I would deliver & my baby would die, they shut the doors. Perhaps since they know why you are coming in they can be more prepared and place you far away from other laboring mamas. It certainly can't hurt to ask. Also, yes I recommend the epidural. The emotional pain is bad enough, you may as well be comfortable.

My placenta came out in pieces & I was told this is fairly common for delivery at this gestation. They had to do a d&c after the birth to remove the rest of the placenta & control my bleeding. My blood count & blood pressure dropped VERY low after the delivery. I spent 2 days in the hospital. I passed out the first time I got up to use the bathroom & almost needed a blood transfusion.

I took 6 weeks off of work, both to recover physically & deal with some of the emotions. I was on bedrest for almost 3 weeks but that had more to do with my blood count. I did not tear or require any stitches so that part of my healing actually was not too bad. I healed more quickly than I did after DD was born. My milk did come in though big time, just like a full term delivery. I used cabbage leaves & ice packs to help, the engorgement only lasted about a week.

I'm so sorry you will have to go through this! It was an awful experience but I made it through and lots of other ladies have too so we are with you! Each person is different, but I strongly recommend that you hold your baby & spend what time with him/her that you can. My son had died by the time I delivered, so I never got to hold him alive. I didn't hold my son until several hours later and only spent a short time with his body, and I wish I had done more. I have met lots of women that didn't hold their baby & wish they had, but I haven't met anyone who held their baby and wished they didn't. Just something to think about.

mrssoprano

I was induced at 21 weeks with Cytotec when we found out Faith had passed away. It was not too bad physically with the epidural and since she was so small I didn't have to get to 10 cm. All in all it took about 22 hrs. I went back to work about 3 weeks later. Physically I was fine, but emotionally I was a mess and still am. I'm so so sorry.

JessicaRobb

I have been looking at the miscarriage/pregnancy loss board and was starting to feel alone in my second trimester loss. I was induced at 19 and a half weeks and 25 hours later I delivered my little boy. This took place over thanksgiving. My doctor instructed me not to work for six weeks... That is too long to sit at home and dwell so I went back in three weeks. It was so hard.... I am still really struggling with the fact that the world is continuing on as if everything is okay and I just want to scream.

 I had an epidural which was good because it allowed me to feel numb physically and emotionally. The medication they gave me to induce gave me other symptoms so I was given medication to counteract those... I didn't like being drugged up. I had no control over my body. Even now I feel like my body is not my own.

My milk did not come in, which was a relief. My doctor suggested wearing two tight bras and avoiding warm water on my chest in the shower. I guess that helped. I was told NOT to express milk. Cold cabbage leaves from the refridgerator could help ease the pain. I am fortunate that I did not have to deal with that.

 Bring comfy clothes to change into... I didn't want to leave in maternity pants. Also, bring or buy underwear that you don't care about. I didn't bleed for too long after because the gestational sack came out intact.

 

Think about what you want to do with your little one before you go in. My hospital had a great program for people in our situation. Do you want to hold you little one or have pictures taken. These were options that my hospital offered. Maybe you don't want to see LO at all. All options are normal.

 

Know that it is okay to cry. My nurses were so caring and opened up about their own experiences.

 Best of luck and bring someone supportive with you. 

JessicaRobb

Also... It's been over a month and still no period. Doc says it can take a while but I'm looking forward to getting on track. Right now I just feel like I'm waiting...

When did you periods resume second tri loss ladies? 

karebear57

Induction sucked cuz they, well for me they gave me 2 pills vaginally and they have to really get them up there so that was real uncomfortable! It only took 2 doses though it was every 6hrs. And since i lost about all my fluid already through the days or so leading up to it they didn't have to break my water. I have had it done before though and it's a bit uncomfortable, not as bad as inserting those pills tho. It takes longer to dilate but it's stronger. Even tho I was able to get anything i wanted for pain it was still extremely painful at the end. I got an epidural since i thought i had a while to go but as soon as i got it i had her. Recovery not bad at all i wasn't sore down there and about 2 days later my milk came in, which was tough, sad. When that happens wear a sports bra and use cool cabbage leaves it's soothing and dries you up sooner. It took a little over a week for me. They told me physically i was able to go back a week later but emotionally it was too soon for me so i took 3 wks off. I am so sorry you have to go through this. Nobody should ever have to do this. If you need to talk or anything we're all here for you! pm me if you like also.

karebear57

Yes i forgot about the pictures. They did some for free and put them on a cd. But what i really, really regret is not taking a pic of me holding my lil girl's hand with my pinky and one of me holding her, you know since it's going to be the first and last pics i'll ever have of her. So no matter what your feeling please take a few pics because if don't you'll spend forever regretting not taking them, like me...=(

BeccaMarie

I am so, so sorry.

Buckets of Moonbeams

I'm so so sorry sweetie.

 

I was induced at 22 weeks because my son had heart defects incompatible with life outside the womb.  Labor was slow to start for me.  The started me on cytotec every 8 hours, and it took about 30 hours for me to go into labor.  Once I started laboring, it was LIGHTENING fast.  Started feeling contractions and delivered my still son about 70 minutes later.  The pain was awful, because I guess I went through transition and all the way to 10 cms that fast, and did not have an epidural simply because there wasn't time.

Recovery was easy.  I bled for about a week and spotted another week.  My milk did come in.  I SAH so I was "back to work" literally the day afterwards (we couldn't afford for my H to take any more time off work at that point in our lives), but I probably could have gone back to a job outside the home a week later.

drvst8

JessicaRobb:

Also... It's been over a month and still no period. Doc says it can take a while but I'm looking forward to getting on track. Right now I just feel like I'm waiting...

When did you periods resume second tri loss ladies? 

A little over 8 weeks till I got my first AF. But I had a full term loss.

Mjmksb04

Thank you so much for your thoughts. With my two other L&Ds, they were extremely quick and I went into labor on my own, so I am completely anxious about the induction process, on top of the emotional stuff. I have no amniotic fluid and probably haven't for weeks, so the nurse we spoke to thought i probably wouldn't need to fully dilate. I have had a med free L&D before, so I am also nervous about the pain of induced contractions. I am hoping it goes fast enough that I don't need the epi, so I am glad to hear your experiences with the length of time the process takes. The hospital I am delivering at handles many high risk situations, so I assume they have made accomodations for keeping my room away from happy deliveries. I know I will want to hold the baby, but depending on how he or she looks (appearance may be distorted due to lack of fluid and movement) we will play photos by ear. I am going to bring a blanket from home to wrap her in.

mrssoprano

Mjmksb04:

Thank you so much for your thoughts. With my two other L&Ds, they were extremely quick and I went into labor on my own, so I am completely anxious about the induction process, on top of the emotional stuff. I have no amniotic fluid and probably haven't for weeks, so the nurse we spoke to thought i probably wouldn't need to fully dilate. I have had a med free L&D before, so I am also nervous about the pain of induced contractions. I am hoping it goes fast enough that I don't need the epi, so I am glad to hear your experiences with the length of time the process takes. The hospital I am delivering at handles many high risk situations, so I assume they have made accomodations for keeping my room away from happy deliveries. I know I will want to hold the baby, but depending on how he or she looks (appearance may be distorted due to lack of fluid and movement) we will play photos by ear. I am going to bring a blanket from home to wrap her in.

The blanket from home is a wonderful idea. I just wanted to say again you are in my thoughts. Oh, and I forgot to say earlier that my milk did not come in.

dandywarhol

I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain.  {{hugs}}  I think bringing a blanket to wrap your child in is very loving. 

FWIW, regardless of how your child looks I would recommend having the pictures taken.  For whatever reason you may or may not ever want to look at them but I think you should have them done just in case you do want to look at them.  I don't want you to regret not getting them done.  

Petunia844

I have no words, I can't even begin to say sorry because it isn't enough.  My heart is breaking for you, it's not fair you have to go through this again.  I have no advice on the L&D because my loss was 3rd tri, I just wish there was something I can do, an internet hug is not enough.

BELLABAY24

Huge hugs as I know how hard it is. I'm just a little over a week from being induced after the baby's passing.  

I was at 27 weeks. The labor was quite easy and I honestly didn't realize for a bit that I was in labor cause they gave me meds to soften my cervix since I wasn't dilated at all yet and that same evening I went into labor without the additional induction meds they thought I would need. 

Healing after wasn't bad. I was told to relax for a week, no standing more than 20 minutes at a time, no lifting, ect and that seemed to really stop the bleeding as I'm just like spotting now. Milk did come in but its drying up and I iced my boobs and that seemed to help. 

mdluv21

I am so so sorry hon.  Life is so unfair.

I was dilated 4 cm and 100% effaced when my water broke and they gave me misoprostal (sp?) to help speed things up and I had an epidural.  From the point of when they gave me the pills to when the first baby was born was about 5.5 hours but my cervix was already crap so that might have made things shorter for me.

Yes my milk did come in, I just wore sports bras and iced them, and the painkillers they sent me home with took the edge off...I went back to work 9 days after they were born to keep myself sane.

 

butterfly843

Sending hugs, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I wasn't induced so I can't answer that part. But I did get an epidural and it lasted through my twins being born, but wore off too soon and one of the placenta's got stuck and my dr couldn't get it out (It was so painful as she tried to remove it) they rushed me in for a D&C to remove the placenta. Physically I wasn't in much pain the next day, I went home from the hospital the next morning and af arrived about 4 weeks later. My milk came in the end of the first week. I wasn't prepared for how painful that would be, but I wrapped my boobs up tight with a sports bra, used cabbage leaves and although it sounds silly frozen vegetable bags helped more than ice. If you can I would get footprints and handprints. The pictures of my babies didn't come out well (we didn't have a camera on us and the hospital gave us a disposable camera they used for photos). I went back to work about 4 weeks later, should've taken the full 6 weeks. It was way too soon, but I couldn't sit around the house anymore.

illinigal

Huge hugs.  I'm so sorry to read this.  Any loss is awful, but it is just cruel that you have to experience another loss.

I was having painful contractions and went to the hospital with my twins at 18w1d.  I thought L&D was pretty painful, but I didn't have an epi... just other drugs in the IV.  They couldn't give me an epi because they said I was 10cm when I arrived at the hospital.  After delivery, I had to have a D&C to make sure they got all the placenta.  Because my white blood count was low, they kept me in the hospital for 2 days to recover.  Once we got back home, I took at easy and didn't do anything around the house for 3-4 days.  Dh got a new job and I quit my job when we moved to Indy to be a SAHM, so I didn't have going back to work to worry about.  My milk came in and my breasts were big for a few days after delivery but I followed my discharge instructions (no hot water on them, wore a sports bra all the time including to bed) and the milk stopped pretty soon and the swelling went down. 

Carolee

I don't have any advice, but I am so sorry you're going through this.  We're here for you if you need us.  (((HUGS)))

starrkitten89

I am so,so sorry.(((Hugs)))

Cercamom2011

I'm so sorry.  I don't have much to add about any of this, as I think PP said it well.  (((HUGS))) through this difficult time.

LuckEinLuv

I wasn't induced because I chose to have a d&e instead so I cant give you any advice on that. I just wanted to tell you how very sorry I am that this is happening to you. I lost my son to a CHD which was apparently a "fluke" too.

NicoleD54

I'm so sorry I can't imagine going through a loss twice. I was not induced, so I have no advice in that area. My physical recovery was not bad. The only pain I really had was in my arms where my IVs clotted, and in my back from my epidural. My milk came in after I got back from the funeral, so 3 days after the birth. I did not tear or have any kind of significant vaginal pain. I also bled for 8wks post birth which surprised my doctor. Overall my physical recovery was not bad.

My heart is breaking for you right now. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

frogs007

I had an emergency c-section at 26 weeks because Isaac's heart wasn't beating- long story short they thought maybe they could save him.  I opted for the c-section because I wanted to give him a chance if there was one.  Unfortunately they couldn't revive him.  My other twin, Porter was born at the same time but he had been gone for 5 weeks.  My recovery was different than a vaginal one obviously, but I've been recovering fine.  My milk came in the day after I gave birth but went down after a few days and is completely gone now (it's been 7 weeks, but the milk dried up mostly by 1 week and completely by week 4).  I'm so sorry about your baby  One thing I found out after having my twins is that having a vaginal birth for a baby that small (I'm not sure how far you are but you said 2nd trimester so I'm going to assume about the same or less than I was) is dangerous because the babies are so tiny and fragile. . . however having a c-section is longer recovery and longer wait time to get pregnant again.  I just wanted to add that because I wish people had told me and it made me happy that I had the c-section and Isaac wasn't bruised or anything when he was born (not that he def. would have been otherwise. . . it's just something I read).  I'm so sorry.  No one should have to deal with this.

frogs007

I had my twins via emergency c-section at 26 weeks.  My recovery was different than a vaginal one obviously, but I've been recovering fine.  My milk came in the day after I gave birth but went down after a few days and is completely gone now (it's been 7 weeks, but the milk dried up mostly by 1 week and completely by week 4).  I'm so sorry about your baby  One thing I found out after having my twins is that having a vaginal birth for a baby that small (I'm not sure how far you are but you said 2nd trimester so I'm going to assume about the same or less than I was) is dangerous because the babies are so tiny and fragile. . . however having a c-section is longer recovery and longer wait time to get pregnant again.  I just wanted to add that because I wish people had told me and it made me happy that I had the c-section and Isaac wasn't bruised or anything when he was born (not that he def. would have been otherwise. . . it's just something I read).  I'm so sorry.  No one should have to deal with this.

frogs007

sorry I don't know why it posted twice

ally2011

I was induced and did not have an epi.  At the very end I had a severe pain that took my breath away and I could not move - and they gave me something in my IV that just made me woozy and helped the pain somewhat.  It wore off maybe in an hour (not sure on the time, but I remember saying I didn't want something that would last a long time and only to give me a 1/2 dose as I don't even like to take Tylenol).  

The best advice I can give if you go w/o an epi is to walk as much as you can....that will get your labor going faster and gives you something to do.  I nearly wore a hole in the area outside my room and we walked all over the floor - they put me on gynecology surgery side and not L&D.  It took about 24 hours for me to deliver from the start of induction.  I never had pitocin.

I delivered placenta intact.  My milk came in just a bit, but not much b/c I wore tight sports bras right away.  I bled for 5-6 weeks and was out of work for 6 weeks.  I needed the time emotionally and am glad I took it.  

My main encouragement would be to go to grief counseling even if you think you don't need it, and minimize the demands on you for awhile.  I did not do either and should have...and as a result am now processing grief that I might have moved through already if I had let myself.

Hugs to you,

Jenn