A topic to stir things up a bit.....

MamaCoffin

Last night I watched my friends 10 year old daughter so she and her husband could go out for his birthday. I asked them what was the limit of what she could watch movie/tv wise. They said "oh it doesn't really matter.... horror and violence doesn't bother her. Just nothing carnal. We don't like her watching that kinda stuff."

I didn't think much of it at first, but then it really started to bother me. You are ok with her seeing people bloodied up and terrified, which is not a natural thing.... but sex, a beautiful, natural part of life, is off limits?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'd let my daughter watch something sexual at 10 years old, I just don't understand how 2 people expressing something to each other in a sexual way is worse than someone murdering someone.

Discuss! 

Mason&Mama

So many decisions to make as a parent! It's a bit overwhelming. While my parents were somewhat strict, we really didn't have limits on what we watched. Cable including HBO, Showtime, Etc, and free pay-per-view with a black box at my BFF's house really exposed me to a lot. Those were the days of frequent sleepovers and late-night movies. In 5th grade (age 10 or 11 I am guessing), my friends and I became obsessed with horror movies. I am guessing that I saw a lot of blood, gore, AND sex in those old horror movies. I believe that I saw Dirty Dancing and Pretty Woman around the same time (maybe closer to 12 or 13). I loved both of those movies, but I think that i was too naive to even understand the abortion and prostitution aspects of the movies. I don't feel like I was traumatized or even overly exposed, although the thought of my pre-teen watching the same content scares me. I hope that I can edit what he watches more than my parents (and friends parents) did. I will not encourage these types of movies, and I will hopefully supervise more than I was, but I am sure he will be exposed to all of it in some way or another. I also hope to explain sex on an age-appropriate level as he grows so that hr doesnt learn it all from cheesy horror films ans late-night Skinemax. I don't know if this long post even answered the question. Lol.

MamaCoffin

Mason&Mama:

So many decisions to make as a parent! It's a bit overwhelming. While my parents were somewhat strict, we really didn't have limits on what we watched. Cable including HBO, Showtime, Etc, and free pay-per-view with a black box at my BFF's house really exposed me to a lot. Those were the days of frequent sleepovers and late-night movies. In 5th grade (age 10 or 11 I am guessing), my friends and I became obsessed with horror movies. I am guessing that I saw a lot of blood, gore, AND sex in those old horror movies. I believe that I saw Dirty Dancing and Pretty Woman around the same time (maybe closer to 12 or 13). I loved both of those movies, but I think that i was too naive to even understand the abortion and prostitution aspects of the movies. I don't feel like I was traumatized or even overly exposed, although the thought of my pre-teen watching the same content scares me. I hope that I can edit what he watches more than my parents (and friends parents) did. I will not encourage these types of movies, and I will hopefully supervise more than I was, but I am sure he will be exposed to all of it in some way or another. I also hope to explain sex on an age-appropriate level as he grows so that hr doesnt learn it all from cheesy horror films ans late-night Skinemax. I don't know if this long post even answered the question. Lol.

 

My point of this post (I'm not sure if I made it very clearly) is that I HATE the stigma associated with sexual things. Sex is normal. Sex is not dirty or bad. Sex is not a sin. Obviously I'm not going to pop in a porno and tell Lucy to enjoy. But It's sad to me that so many people see it as a negative thing. 

 

12bailey18

I'm not saying my opinion is right but I kinda agree with your friends. I would probably say the same thing. 

magnoliablossom00

jen+m+langtake2:

Mason&Mama:

So many decisions to make as a parent! It's a bit overwhelming. While my parents were somewhat strict, we really didn't have limits on what we watched. Cable including HBO, Showtime, Etc, and free pay-per-view with a black box at my BFF's house really exposed me to a lot. Those were the days of frequent sleepovers and late-night movies. In 5th grade (age 10 or 11 I am guessing), my friends and I became obsessed with horror movies. I am guessing that I saw a lot of blood, gore, AND sex in those old horror movies. I believe that I saw Dirty Dancing and Pretty Woman around the same time (maybe closer to 12 or 13). I loved both of those movies, but I think that i was too naive to even understand the abortion and prostitution aspects of the movies. I don't feel like I was traumatized or even overly exposed, although the thought of my pre-teen watching the same content scares me. I hope that I can edit what he watches more than my parents (and friends parents) did. I will not encourage these types of movies, and I will hopefully supervise more than I was, but I am sure he will be exposed to all of it in some way or another. I also hope to explain sex on an age-appropriate level as he grows so that hr doesnt learn it all from cheesy horror films ans late-night Skinemax. I don't know if this long post even answered the question. Lol.

 

My point of this post (I'm not sure if I made it very clearly) is that I HATE the stigma associated with sexual things. Sex is normal. Sex is not dirty or bad. Sex is not a sin. Obviously I'm not going to pop in a porno and tell Lucy to enjoy. But It's sad to me that so many people see it as a negative thing. 

 

That depends on your personal viewpoint. I do believe sex before marriage is wrong, and I plan on limiting sexual shows/movies/music to some degree. All teens need to be exposed to it so they aren't shocked when they enter the "real world", but I definitely think its wrong to allow them to watch ANY sexual acts as children. (Obviously, aside from just affection or small kissing between a husband and wife).

As for the violence, same thing. Its everywhere, so they will see it, but I will definitely be limiting it.

TeaForMe

Hmm.. interesting question...

I wouldn't let my 10 year old watch gore/violence or anything overtly sexual regardless. I believe, though they may seem to not be affected by it, that their brains still haven't developed enough to truly understand real vs fiction and be able to fully process it. (I had a 5-year-old in my class last year whose dad thought it was ok for him to play Call of Duty together. Ugh)

I do agreee in many ways with what you are saying - why is sex, which is (supposed to be) love, procreation, happiness, etc seen as the evil and not blowing people up or chopping humans to bits?  Seems backwards.

However, the way sex is portrayed in general on tv and movies is also not the way I want my child to feel is the norm. My own personal values which I hope to pass on to my child (not knocking anyone who sees sex differently, just my own position) is that sex should be monogamous, in a committed relationship (preferably married, but I didn't even uphold that standard...;)), etc. I think of shows like Two and a Half Men, which I enjoy, are a prime example of going against these values.

But, again, my values also say "don't shoot/kill/maim people" so I don't know. Maybe parents want to avoid the awkward sex questions (which is a lame excuse). But this tends to be the way our whole country works. violence = ok. sex = evil.

 

backinpgh

I agree. Shouldn't blowing people's heads off or stabbing someone or gruesome murder or other types of violence be WORSE than sex?

SarahRae812

I tend to agree with both Jen & TeaForMe. I grew up watching Dallas & One Life to Live, so I got used to seeing characters bed someone different each week. I don't really want my kids thinking that behavior is okay, but, honestly, I'd rather they see infidelity than brutality.

That being said, I'm actually not a fan of most "children's" television. Half the shows on the Disney channel & Cartoon Network are horrible! The characters are either sassy & defiant or gross & crude! H & I have talked about either getting rid of cable or blocking a lot of channels when DD gets older. I have no problem with PBS, though. Love Sesame Street & Curious George!

swimiz500

This is such a great question.  My aunt was the same way while my cousin was growing up and it drove me crazy.  That being said, I have NO idea how I will react with my kid.  I do not like things with gratuitous violence, so I cannot imagine wanting my kid to watch it, or even being okay with my kid watching it.

But, my parents weren't strict with that kind of stuff.  It helped that I was always a very reasonable child from probably too young an age. I remember watching prime-time TV with my mom, where there were definitely sexual situations, but it certainly never made me want to run out and do it.  So I guess I am definitely more okay with sex than violence. I loathe the violence. I guess if my DD was 10, and watching some mainstream cable show (NOT hbo or something) with me, and there was mention or innuendo of sex, I wouldn't care. Perhaps it could lead to a healthy talk? And then if she happened to watch it by herself, at least I would feel better knowing she and I had discussed it.

With violence, what is the point? I am pretty sure she will know not to maim and kill her friends. No one needs to see violence, I know when I saw it as a kid (and even still as an adult) all it does is make me fearful and anxious, and I certainly don't want DD to feel that. 

katie4253

So, I taught middle school.  I will say, there is such a range of what kids are developmentally ready for.  I also think it depends on how open you are about sex with your children.  Not just sex, but love, relationships, etc.  

As far as horror movies, I view them kind of like fantasy.  They get the imagination going.  That said, some of the stuff out there now is SO graphic.  The horror movies of our day are not the horror movies of today.  

We'll be limiting both.   

sallydraper

katie4253:

So, I taught middle school.  I will say, there is such a range of what kids are developmentally ready for.  I also think it depends on how open you are about sex with your children.  Not just sex, but love, relationships, etc.  

As far as horror movies, I view them kind of like fantasy.  They get the imagination going.  That said, some of the stuff out there now is SO graphic.  The horror movies of our day are not the horror movies of today.  

We'll be limiting both.   

Pretty much this. I don't really think a 10 year old should be watching Saw or Pretty Woman, frankly.

 

katiegal

There are ratings on movies/shows for a reason.  I do not think anything with sexual content or violence is appropriate for young children and we plan on previewing anything that we haven't already seen before allowing our daughter to watch it.  We also will not allow her to have a computer in her room.  WAY too much stuff on the internet.  That scares me even more than television. 

tstrong

Interesting topic... I teach middle school and am amazed at what these kids watch. With that being said, I have parents protest the literature I teach (Speak), which is ridiculous to me when your kid is playing Call of Duty... Anyway, I think it's important that my daughter learn things from me especially things like sex and violence... I don't want her to learn about it somewhere else first. To me, literature and some television shows offer an outlet for discussion of issues like sex and violence.... Let's face it, we can't hide them from it!

SarahRae812

katie4253:

So, I taught middle school.  I will say, there is such a range of what kids are developmentally ready for.  I also think it depends on how open you are about sex with your children.  Not just sex, but love, relationships, etc.  

As far as horror movies, I view them kind of like fantasy.  They get the imagination going.  That said, some of the stuff out there now is SO graphic.  The horror movies of our day are not the horror movies of today.  

We'll be limiting both.   

No kidding! Nightmare on Elm Street & Friday the 13th are nothing compared to the torture porn that passes for horror today! Human Centipede, anyone?!?!?!

Hope2Have

mkd00:

jen+m+langtake2:

Mason&Mama:

So many decisions to make as a parent! It's a bit overwhelming. While my parents were somewhat strict, we really didn't have limits on what we watched. Cable including HBO, Showtime, Etc, and free pay-per-view with a black box at my BFF's house really exposed me to a lot. Those were the days of frequent sleepovers and late-night movies. In 5th grade (age 10 or 11 I am guessing), my friends and I became obsessed with horror movies. I am guessing that I saw a lot of blood, gore, AND sex in those old horror movies. I believe that I saw Dirty Dancing and Pretty Woman around the same time (maybe closer to 12 or 13). I loved both of those movies, but I think that i was too naive to even understand the abortion and prostitution aspects of the movies. I don't feel like I was traumatized or even overly exposed, although the thought of my pre-teen watching the same content scares me. I hope that I can edit what he watches more than my parents (and friends parents) did. I will not encourage these types of movies, and I will hopefully supervise more than I was, but I am sure he will be exposed to all of it in some way or another. I also hope to explain sex on an age-appropriate level as he grows so that hr doesnt learn it all from cheesy horror films ans late-night Skinemax. I don't know if this long post even answered the question. Lol.

 

My point of this post (I'm not sure if I made it very clearly) is that I HATE the stigma associated with sexual things. Sex is normal. Sex is not dirty or bad. Sex is not a sin. Obviously I'm not going to pop in a porno and tell Lucy to enjoy. But It's sad to me that so many people see it as a negative thing. 

 

That depends on your personal viewpoint. I do believe sex before marriage is wrong, and I plan on limiting sexual shows/movies/music to some degree. All teens need to be exposed to it so they aren't shocked when they enter the "real world", but I definitely think its wrong to allow them to watch ANY sexual acts as children. (Obviously, aside from just affection or small kissing between a husband and wife).

As for the violence, same thing. Its everywhere, so they will see it, but I will definitely be limiting it.

I agree with this... obviously sex isn't wrong or dirty, but IMO should be reserved for a husband and wife and I want Hadley to be very aware of that.

NotSharknado

TeaForMe:

Hmm.. interesting question...

I wouldn't let my 10 year old watch gore/violence or anything overtly sexual regardless. I believe, though they may seem to not be affected by it, that their brains still haven't developed enough to truly understand real vs fiction and be able to fully process it. (I had a 5-year-old in my class last year whose dad thought it was ok for him to play Call of Duty together. Ugh)

I do agreee in many ways with what you are saying - why is sex, which is (supposed to be) love, procreation, happiness, etc seen as the evil and not blowing people up or chopping humans to bits?  Seems backwards.

However, the way sex is portrayed in general on tv and movies is also not the way I want my child to feel is the norm. My own personal values which I hope to pass on to my child (not knocking anyone who sees sex differently, just my own position) is that sex should be monogamous, in a committed relationship (preferably married, but I didn't even uphold that standard...;)), etc. I think of shows like Two and a Half Men, which I enjoy, are a prime example of going against these values.

But, again, my values also say "don't shoot/kill/maim people" so I don't know. Maybe parents want to avoid the awkward sex questions (which is a lame excuse). But this tends to be the way our whole country works. violence = ok. sex = evil.

 

Well said.