Seriously look for something like this in your area.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/HOT-DOCS-Parent-Training-Program/140128835881
Local Universities might have something like it. DS was so difficult and challenging. I dreaded Tuesdays and Thursdays when he didn't have school. Since the 7 week course, he is a different child. He actually told me I was the best mommy in the world
They teach you things you probably already know, but better tools to deal with the defiance. I have new tools and feel like a new, better mom because of this class.
Re: If you have a difficult child
omg I don't know whether I would have laughed or cried!