Feel like giving up

kcvasquez

I just need a VENT. I feel like giving up on my hopes of having a VBAC. I know this is probably irrational (imagine that from a pregnant woman) but nothing is happening right now. In fact I am progressing less this time around than I did with DS. I know with VBAC hopefuls they tell you that if you get hung up for the same reason as your previous c-section then you have little chance of a VBAC actually happening. I am 37w 5d, closed up tight, 25% effaced and baby is at a 4 station, so pretty much floating around up there.

With DS by this time I was closed, 50% effaced and he was at a 2 station. I know that all of this means nothing and I could go into labor tomorrow but I can't help but feel like something is wrong with me. I think the reality of this actually not happening is starting to hit. I wouldn't mind going to 41 weeks if I knew that this VBAC will happen but I am afraid to get there and have them tell me I have to have a repeat c-section because they don't induce VBACs. I just want a big glass/bottle of wine right now.

ec3under4

I'm sorry that is so frustrating but maybe you shouldn't get checked anymore. I know you don't want to hear it but you are still early and a lot can happen in a few weeks. Sometimes knowing doesn't help at all but can actually cause added stress and hurt in the long run. I know it's so tempting and hard to not know how far along you are but I would strongly consider just not finding out and let your body to it's work!!

nosoup4u

You're only 38 weeks, not even! How long do you have? I agree with not getting checked, it's just a m!ndf*ck sometimes. I didn't go into labor until 41+ weeks with either of mine. It will happen!! And drink a glass of wine, it's not a big deal this late in pregnancy, and it'll help calm you down. Hang in there!!!

iris427

ec3under4:

I'm sorry that is so frustrating but maybe you shouldn't get checked anymore. I know you don't want to hear it but you are still early and a lot can happen in a few weeks. Sometimes knowing doesn't help at all but can actually cause added stress and hurt in the long run. I know it's so tempting and hard to not know how far along you are but I would strongly consider just not finding out and let your body to it's work!!

This exactly.

The last weeks of any pregnancy are hard and I think it's even harder when you're hoping for a VBAC.  I felt like a crazy person the last few weeks of my VBAC pregnancy and I was sure that my body was broken and I was just going to end up with a RCS and everyone would criticize me for being too focused on having a vaginal birth etc etc.  In fact, I left my 39 week appointment wanting to cry because I found out my baby was OP (the reason for my c-section) and I was just sure I would end up with the same scenario as my first pregnancy.  I went into labor that night and had my VBAC.

I didn't get checked at all because I knew that having more information would just give me more to obsess over and fuel my anxiety.   Sometimes more is not better.

Hang in there!   

Newport617

It looks like we are around the same due date... I'm hoping for a VBAC as well. Last time I was checked with my ob at 36-39 weeks and had no progress... 0 cm baby high up and all... I went into labor 2 days after being told I was a 0. This time with a MW they haven't even asked if I wanted to be checked and it has been a lot less stressful

kcvasquez

Thanks ladies! I knew you guys would understand since we're all in the same boat (or have been!) I have been trying not to think about it, but like you said iris427, you start to feel crazy thinking things are never going to happen, or that people will look at you crazy for hoping that your VBAC will happen. I know some of those thoughts are irrational because I do know plenty of women who have went from 0 to 10 overnight, it's just hard for me to get it into my head that it could happen for me. I think it's because of how my first went and the feelings of being let down about your own body. I feel better after reading the responses and I am going to try to put it in the back of my mind until at least 39 weeks when I will start trying some of the natural induction methods! 

kcvasquez

Newport617:

It looks like we are around the same due date... I'm hoping for a VBAC as well. Last time I was checked with my ob at 36-39 weeks and had no progress... 0 cm baby high up and all... I went into labor 2 days after being told I was a 0. This time with a MW they haven't even asked if I wanted to be checked and it has been a lot less stressful

And yes, January 15th is the day! Glad I have someone else who is going through this and due the same time! Labor dust for both of us! 

fjaril

no help but thought some *hugs* were in order!

kcvasquez

fjaril:

no help but thought some *hugs* were in order!

Thank you!! And much appreciated!