WWYD

julesjarvais65

What would you do if you got pregnant within a few months of having LO??

Heres the story behind this:
MHs friend and his fiance had unprotected sex and she thinks shes pregnant so she took Plan B. Which I told MH wouldn't work unless taken in the proper time frame... But anyways, he said if she ends up being pregnant they would talk about abortion, which pisses me off more than anything in the world, and frankly, they wouldn't be welcome in my house anymore if they went through with it. They have a 2 year old and are tight on money and their excuse would be they can't afford another, but IMO you can always cut back on something to afford a child. I am in no way for abortion in 99% of cases. (I know this has nothing to do with what I asked, getting there now)

So I told MH I was against it and I'd lose all respect for them, etc. and he was like well what if you got pregnant again within a couple months of having LO. I was like we'd keep it, and he's like well I wouldn't want 2 kids that close together. Ugh, last time we had this discussion he didn't seem like he was for abortion at all and now these stupid situations arise and he is all for it. I'm so frustrated with him right now.

Anyways, point being.... What are you thoughts, and what would you do? I would never even consider abortion, thats not why I'm asking. I was just curious as to what you girls had to say.

neener3

My H and I decided when we started having sex (we were quite a bit younger then) that there would be no entertaining of the idea of abortion - ever.  I believe everyone has a choice, but that it's not birth control between two consenting adults.

 

I have a friend who used it as birth control.  It took me a long time to come to terms with it, but bottom line is, it's her body, not mine, so her choice, not mine.  

 

I think if your husband was actually put in the situation his opinion would be different.  I'd let it go for now.

 

I'd be devastated if I got pregnant right away.  We wanted this baby and love him beyond already, but I didn't "enjoy" pregnancy (although had no issues), want my body back for a bit, and neither of us want children close together.  We'd deal and eventually take the blessing for what it is. 

namara5532

If I was in a situation where I got pregnant soon after this LO, DH would have a serious discussion about it.  If we couldn't afford to give a second baby a quality life, we'd seriously consider aborting.  If money would be tight but we wouldn't be destitute, we would keep the baby.  Unless DH lost his job, we would probably have enough to be able to support an "oops" baby although we'd have to cut back on a few things to do it.

In a situation where the child isn't wanted, I think adoption is a better option.  However, I respect a woman's right to not want to go through a pregnancy unless they could keep the baby.  It wouldn't be fair to either the parents or to the child if they were forced to keep an unwanted baby.

julesjarvais65

namara5532:

If I was in a situation where I got pregnant soon after this LO, DH would have a serious discussion about it.  If we couldn't afford to give a second baby a quality life, we'd seriously consider aborting.  If money would be tight but we wouldn't be destitute, we would keep the baby.  Unless DH lost his job, we would probably have enough to be able to support an "oops" baby although we'd have to cut back on a few things to do it.

In a situation where the child isn't wanted, I think adoption is a better option.  However, I respect a woman's right to not want to go through a pregnancy unless they could keep the baby.  It wouldn't be fair to either the parents or to the child if they were forced to keep an unwanted baby.

I agree that it wouldn't be fair to either the parents or the child either, but I feel that if 2 people are consenting to having sex (especially unprotected) and they obviously know the consequences, they should go for adoption over abortion. I don't think they need another child, but I don't think abortion should be an option for them either. They both work, and although they are tight on money, they both have unnecessary expenses that they could cut out. I'd be more than prepared to cut out those unnecessary expenses for a child before getting an abortion.

LanaLoves

namara5532:

If I was in a situation where I got pregnant soon after this LO, DH would have a serious discussion about it.  If we couldn't afford to give a second baby a quality life, we'd seriously consider aborting.  If money would be tight but we wouldn't be destitute, we would keep the baby.  Unless DH lost his job, we would probably have enough to be able to support an "oops" baby although we'd have to cut back on a few things to do it.

In a situation where the child isn't wanted, I think adoption is a better option.  However, I respect a woman's right to not want to go through a pregnancy unless they could keep the baby.  It wouldn't be fair to either the parents or to the child if they were forced to keep an unwanted baby.

EXACTLY THIS ^^^

I am pro-choice...we are not in their shoes so it's hard to say what I'd exactly do..But I wouldn't judge anyones decision whether I agree with it or not.... To each is own; everyone fights his or her own battle.

kulrich87

It's her decision, has nothing at all to do with you, and I think you're a total b!tch to say you wouldn't let her in your house. If I was her, I wouldn't want to be your friend with that attitude. 

namara5532

neener3:

I'd be devastated if I got pregnant right away.  We wanted this baby and love him beyond already, but I didn't "enjoy" pregnancy (although had no issues), want my body back for a bit, and neither of us want children close together.  We'd deal and eventually take the blessing for what it is. 

I 100% agree with the bolded, especially with how miserable I've felt at this end stretch.  For some women, the misery of pregnancy is enough to choose to not go through it again, especially if it's back to back pregnancies.  There might also be issues from the first pregnancy that others may not know about when looking at a woman who got pregnant again right away.  It'd be heartless of me to judge someone for choosing to abort unless I knew their full story and knew how they emotionally felt about the pregnancy.  I like to think I would choose adoption over abortion, but I can't predict the range of circumstances that would affect that decision if I ever had to choose.

Kristine Schilling

Her body, her choice. In general I don't think abortion is a good option. However, I have been in that situation, it sucks. But sometimes termination is the choice made.

Please dont judge her if she chooses to loose the child. IF she is even PG. What you and your DH would decide in their situation is not relavent to their position. You do not know the entire deal, you are not them, so you cannot judge them for the choices they make.

As to what you should do, once this situation has settled a bit, you and DH need to have a very serious talk because obviously you do not agree with eachother. Or, you can let it go unless or until the situation DOES happen to you personally.

We didnt get PG withing a few months of DD. But this PG was an oops. Condom broke, plan B didnt work even within 24 hours. We decided that obviously someone up there wanted us to have another child. So here we are.

 

FarmvilleLover

For a child out of this marriage, abortion is not an option for me.  We would make it work.

I don't care what others do though.  

You have the right to feel the way you do about your friend.  If she got an abortion, just end the friendship since I can't imagine how you'd go on calling someone a friend that you're so disgusted with and have no respect for, kwim?

Thinkerbelle80

I would never get an abortion ever.  But I really can't fathom already having one child and then deciding to abort the second because it didn't come in a timely fashion.  What if when you decided you wanted that second kid, you couldn't get pregnant again?  

bpwife&mama

My DH and I would never have an abortion, but that is the decision we have come to decide.  I don't think it's fair that you're judging your friend so harshly on private decisions made between her and her husband.  I am very pro-choice and feel that a woman's body is her own.  Just because she is healthy and is covered under medical insuance doesn't matter.  She can make any choice she wishes.  Your opinions are your own and if you choose not be friends with her because of the decision she makes, well then that is your choice.  I could never do such a thing.