How Would IFVers... (DE)?

mtlaurel

I know this is a personal decision, but we don't seem pulled in one direction or another, so I thought some info./comments might spark something in me. We're struggling to decide where to do an anonymous DE cycle and whether to do a full or shared cycle. We are OOP and can only reasonably afford to do either a shared or full fresh cycle once.

So, how would you rank the importance of the following when comparing clinics and cycle options, and why?

A. DE success rates

B. Wait list time

C. Donor pool - size, access to (open or clinic-selected), screening process, where recruited from, level of info. provided, etc.

D. Possibility for donor contact for medical info,. or when child turns 18, through a third party

E. Costs

F. Chances for frozen embryos

H. Proximity of clinic and ability to do all monitoring and procedures at same clinic (vs. local monitoring and travel for procedures)

Thanks!

 

 

njohnson1972

I have been tossing DE around as well for some time.  Here are my thoughts, but I haven't done DE yet.

On a scale of 1-10, 10 being most important:

A. DE success rates 8

B. Wait list time 5 (since it is DE, my age would be less of a factor.  I am 39 years old).

C. Donor pool - size, access to (open or clinic-selected), screening process, where recruited from, level of info. provided, etc. 8 (Since I am white, 5'7, brown hair, brown eyed, it would be fairly easy for us to find a potential donor with similar characteristics.  If you are Asian, it can be tougher, for example.  That is important for some people.)

D. Possibility for donor contact for medical info,. or when child turns 18, through a third party 8 (I like the idea of having that information available whether it is DE, DS or adoption for my child)

E. Costs 8 (If we do DE, we will do a shared cycle. We only want one baby and don't really want to have frozen embryos left).

F. Chances for frozen embryos 3 (I only want one more baby.  It would be easier to not have frozen embryos for us).

H. Proximity of clinic and ability to do all monitoring and procedures at same clinic (vs. local monitoring and travel for procedures) 7 (I work full-time).

So most of my answers really pertain to our personal situation.  It would be different if I didn't work, wasn't older, or wanted more than one baby.

Good luck!

Edwina.McDunnough

C/B : Since My H and I are not the same race, it was important for our donor to be at least my race, if not my ethnicity. Since we wanted to avoid using an agency this severely limited our options. We are working with 2 clinics and may consider frozen DE if the first cycle fails, but no one except for one clinic could match my ethnic background and the majority estimated at least a year wait for someone of my race. The worst options said "no way for anyone remotely from your continent." "Wait list position" also varies a lot. Some put you on the list retroactively when you go in for consult, others when you complete all their diagnostics.

E/F/H : are all sort of intertwined. The least expensive option is not necessarily the best deal, and some clinics were so $ bc they did not take my insurance, we would need to travel, stay in hotels, go in for diagnostics, take time off work, etc we could have cycled 2x at a local clinic for the same cost. If you think you'll get frozens then you need to consider if the clinic vitrifies or not. 

A : don't have the luxury of going to the big success rate clinics. 

D : medical info would be nice but full disclosure is not always an option for anon DE and we accept that limitation.

Another thing to consider, when you're going to a clinic that does split cycles, they often separate their donors out according to the type of split they do. So a donor with the most potential for many eggs is delegated to a 3x split. In a guarantee cycle this sort of averages out over time, but if you decide to do a 2x split or an exclusive cycle at this clinic you're potentially getting donors that are less likely to produce larger numbers. Something to think about; if you do an exclusive cycle I would think hard about doing it at a clinic that does splits.

Another thing to consider is how they donor match in a split or otherwise. Are you being matched bc they have another couple lined up and they want to fill the recipient slot or is that donor well considered for you?  One clinic I spoke to is all about swapping out your donor if they cant cycle asap to get YOU cycling. Personally, I'd probably get attached to my donor and would be willing to wait a few days or a cycle if she had a cyst or had a commitment. It's up to you and your priorities but I got the impression from this clinic that a donor that is close enough is good enough. I sort of want one that is well matched to me.

That being said, if I had better options at one of the super successful clinics I would have seriously considered traveling to cycle there. I'd rather spend more money to get a BFP than cycle 6 times in a guarantee program. I'm just so tired. 

You can contact me off the FB group if you want more information. I found selecting a clinic and a program to be incredibly challenging, they all differ so much and it's more about finding the right fit for your situation than anything else. And it's all so expensive! There is so much pressure to make the "right" decision.

reb259

mtlaurel:

I know this is a personal decision, but we don't seem pulled in one direction or another, so I thought some info./comments might spark something in me. We're struggling to decide where to do an anonymous DE cycle and whether to do a full or shared cycle. We are OOP and can only reasonably afford to do either a shared or full fresh cycle once.

So, how would you rank the importance of the following when comparing clinics and cycle options, and why?

A. DE success rates

B. Wait list time

C. Donor pool - size, access to (open or clinic-selected), screening process, where recruited from, level of info. provided, etc.

D. Possibility for donor contact for medical info,. or when child turns 18, through a third party

E. Costs

F. Chances for frozen embryos

H. Proximity of clinic and ability to do all monitoring and procedures at same clinic (vs. local monitoring and travel for procedures)

Thanks!

 

I am 38 and was told by my RE (my 3rd in 2 yrs) that if I wanted to cycle my OE he would but the success rate with eggs 12 years younger than me is hands down increasing my chances...that is all I had to hear.  We decided on DE and havent looked back.  I aslo like that they are frozen and I don't have to endure the logistics of a fresh cycle...frozen is also much cheaper.

I got very lucky, my H is white and I am Korean and we actually found a clinic near me (which is an important factor)  that had frozen Asian (korean) eggs (an even more important factor).  I was adopted as a baby so the idea of DE does not phase me or my H.  We just want a baby...doesnt matter how.  We would do adoption but given the cost and our ages, I feel DE is the quickest way.

Our donor ironically is also adopted so we do not have a family medical history, only hers and she is very healthy.  I guess for many people this would be a deal breaker but as I mentioned, I am also adopted and would never know my family health history either.

Our cycle includes 6 eggs and I hope that we have at least 2 to freeze in case the first cycle dosent work.  If the first works it would be nice to try for a sibling, but at this point I will take 1 healthy baby and be happy.

We cycle in Feb and I am beyond excited and hopeful!!!

mtlaurel

Edwina.McDunnough:

C/B : Since My H and I are not the same race, it was important for our donor to be at least my race, if not my ethnicity. Since we wanted to avoid using an agency this severely limited our options. We are working with 2 clinics and may consider frozen DE if the first cycle fails, but no one except for one clinic could match my ethnic background and the majority estimated at least a year wait for someone of my race. The worst options said "no way for anyone remotely from your continent." "Wait list position" also varies a lot. Some put you on the list retroactively when you go in for consult, others when you complete all their diagnostics.

E/F/H : are all sort of intertwined. The least expensive option is not necessarily the best deal, and some clinics were so $ bc they did not take my insurance, we would need to travel, stay in hotels, go in for diagnostics, take time off work, etc we could have cycled 2x at a local clinic for the same cost. If you think you'll get frozens then you need to consider if the clinic vitrifies or not. 

A : don't have the luxury of going to the big success rate clinics. 

D : medical info would be nice but full disclosure is not always an option for anon DE and we accept that limitation.

Another thing to consider, when you're going to a clinic that does split cycles, they often separate their donors out according to the type of split they do. So a donor with the most potential for many eggs is delegated to a 3x split. In a guarantee cycle this sort of averages out over time, but if you decide to do a 2x split or an exclusive cycle at this clinic you're potentially getting donors that are less likely to produce larger numbers. Something to think about; if you do an exclusive cycle I would think hard about doing it at a clinic that does splits.

Another thing to consider is how they donor match in a split or otherwise. Are you being matched bc they have another couple lined up and they want to fill the recipient slot or is that donor well considered for you?  One clinic I spoke to is all about swapping out your donor if they cant cycle asap to get YOU cycling. Personally, I'd probably get attached to my donor and would be willing to wait a few days or a cycle if she had a cyst or had a commitment. It's up to you and your priorities but I got the impression from this clinic that a donor that is close enough is good enough. I sort of want one that is well matched to me.

That being said, if I had better options at one of the super successful clinics I would have seriously considered traveling to cycle there. I'd rather spend more money to get a BFP than cycle 6 times in a guarantee program. I'm just so tired. 

You can contact me off the FB group if you want more information. I found selecting a clinic and a program to be incredibly challenging, they all differ so much and it's more about finding the right fit for your situation than anything else. And it's all so expensive! There is so much pressure to make the "right" decision.

Thank you for this response. I've thought about the split/quality of donor issue a lot. Both programs we are considering only do 2-way splits. And, both say that they carefully choose the donors that they allow to split, which leads me to the assumption that the donors expected to give highest quantity (and maybe quality?) are funneled into that category.

Both programs we're looking at will cost about the same in the end. The program whose psychologist and donor screening process we like the most has a smaller, local donor pool, longer wait time and less consistent success rate. It' hard to figure out how much to let the less quantifiable, just-plain-old-good-vibes-from-the-doctors-and-nurses, aspects factor into this decision exactly because there is so much pressure to make the right decision!

mainesmichelle

For all who are looking into DE options I highly encourage you to look into Reproductive Biology Associates in Atlanta Ga.  The frozen DE program is not as expensive and the success rates rock, if you are able to travel!!  I know several women who have had success (inlcuding myself) where we did not prior.

Best of luck.