Single Parents
Mason&Mama
member
Intro. Single mother with 5 month old.
Mason&Mama
member
I am very sad to say that I am the newest member of your board. Here is my story. I love my baby's father. We have been together for seven years, and we have a very special bond. He has a great heart, and he loves me and Mason very much. Unfortunately, he has a disease. He is a drug addict. I would have to say that the majority of our relationship he has been clean. I have never even experimented with drugs, and I am pretty much the complete opposite of someone you would imagine with an addict. My ex had a very difficult childhood, but he is educated and a talented hard worker. A combination of prescribed pain pills after several operations and hanging with the wrong people during his 20's led to a pain pill dependence. He has been through recovery, and I have been lucky enough to know the clean version of the man I love. Sometimes he goes 2 years clean, and sometimes only 6 months. He usually relapses for a short period of time before getting help. It has happened a handful of times throughout our relationship. When he relapses, he makes terrible decisions. He will spend money we need, and he has even stolen from his family. I stayed by his side through all if this because of the man he s 95% of the time. However, now I have a son. My ex's father died unexpectedly the day after Mason was born. He has had a very hard time coping, and I believe that the holidays put him over the edge. He slipped up for the first time since Mason was born.i was hoping that it would never happen, but in my heart I knew it was always a looming possibility. He spent money we don't have (I just quit my full-time job), and he even stole from my family on Christmas. I was heartbroken, and he is beside himself with regret. For the first time in 7 years, we are broken up. I am not the type to have an on again, off again relationship. I had many opportunities to call it quits in the past, but I never had the reason of an innocent baby. My ex has no money, his truck needs work so it is not even insured/registered, and he has no place to live. I let him sleep here the last few nights while he actively sought out a rehab bed. (There are waiting lists everywhere.) He enters rehab this afternoon with the understanding that this is no longer a home to come back to. I promised him that his son would always be a part of his life and that I wouldn't play games with that relationship. I just hope that he takes this opportunity to grow as a person. He has never joined a halfway house or sober house as part o f recovery, and I am hoping that he can accomplish that this time. I can no longer enable him. We have had an amazing relationship, and the bad times have been few and far between. But they always come back. It's not fair to expose my little boy to that. I am scared for my ex. Very scared. I feel like this is his do or die moment. I am hoping it is his rock bottom ... losing his family, his home. I am also scared for myself. I just quit my job. I have no one to watch LO while I work per diem shifts (overnights), but I need to start working ASAP to pay my bills. It is so overwhelming. I hope to be able to visit this board for advice and support. I spend most of my time on the 3-6 month and July 2011 board, but it looks like this is where I have the most learning to do now. Thanks in advance.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Intro. Single mother with 5 month old.
Welcome. I am sorry you are dealing with this.
I am in a similar situation, so I feel your pain. My only advice is don't ever think that he is at rock bottom because he will surprise you and show you a further down rock bottom...sadly. It's hard, it hurts and it's also confusing.....I enabled my STBX for 6 years of our marriage, his drinking lead to pain pill addiction, occasional cocaine usage, staying out all night etc. Finally I realized that he isn't going to get better for me, our daughters or anyone - he will only clean his act up for himself IF he wants to.
I am here if you need to chat....
Welcome. Sorry your here. I have a very similar story although add in mental disease. I keep thinking he is at rock bottom but each day he proves to me that he's just not there yet. I have a gut feeling that death will be his rock bottom. i miss the sober/clean husband that I was so in love with. in the past every time it came out that he was using or drinking again he was quick to get his act together and get clean. This time he just won't do it or says he messed up, used, and is over it. With no treatment and no meetings he wants me to believe he's living right.
I'm not celebrating tonight. Hopefully I can catch up on sleep. But I'm pretty sure that's a lost cause with the surplus of fireworks my neighbor has been stock piling.