If your starting to date again...

kmlkjh

How did you go about it? I am thinking about trying an online match site but don't know which one to try. Any recommendations? I am pretty shy so going out with the intention of looking for a date is a foreign idea to me. And I would probably chicken out before I manage to even get ready to go out. Online dating/match sites seem like a reasonable solution...

How did your ex handle this once he knew you were dating again? At what point did he find out you were dating? I don't have to tell him I am dating do I? My ex seems convinced that I will "see the error of my ways" and realize that I miss him...it's been a year and a half and I have yet to see the error of my ways so I think he might be a bit angry with me dating. 

I have no intention of hiding LO from whoever I am dating because she will forever be a part of my life, but is that something that comes up on a first date? Or maybe just a bit later like second dates?

Any other recommendations for trying to start over in the relationship department? 

PrincessFiona9

You can try online dating if that's what you're interested in doing. I used plentyoffish.com for a little while because it was free, but there's a lot of weirdos on there. I have heard good things about match.com. Anyway, I was always very open about being a parent. It always came up from the beginning of any conversation.

jandb2011

I did some of the free dating sites for a while.  I liked that you could chat and email for a little bit, to get to know someone, before deciding if you wanted to meet.  Always be up front about being a parent.  Some guys really can't handle it and are not at a point in there life where they would even want to try.  Some guys I met through friends, as well, so that's always another route you can take.

You certainly don't have to mention anything to your ex about it.  Mine was also convinced we would get back together, but since my only obligation to him were things regarding my son, I didn't feel the need to fill him in on my personal life.

Just take things one at a time, go slow, have fun, and good luck!

achase123

A lot of single moms try online dating.  I've tried it off and on and haven't had the greatest luck, but I also am open to the possibility of it.  I have gone on some dates as a result of mutual friends setting us up.  I've also just met people out and about so it all depends on your circumstances. 

As far as your ex, it's none of his business who you're dating, and don't let him tell you otherwise.  The only information he needs to be privvy to is that regarding LO. 

ashleyvc2

I started dating someone 9 months after I split from STBX.  He has older kids so it wasn't an issue.  I met him at my PT job, otherwise I have no idea how I would meet anyone since all my friends are married and I too am shy.  

 

STBX knows I am dating someone however any time he asks anything about it I just ignore the questions, remarks etc.  it's none of his business.   

FyreFlyeRush

I tried eharmony, but it seem to me the matching system sucked. I was very vocal in my profile about wanting to take a relationship slow and not having more kids, and it seemed to match me with people who were convinved I just "needed to meet the right man" or saw an independent woman as someone they wanted to change.

I do believe in meeting people online, but I'm a gamer, and the people I meet are people who I know have similar interests to me. My best and longest relationship started online. It lasted for 4 years, and I'd do it all again.

Sweet face 82

I use match.com  I am very up front with anyone that I have a son and the he is number 1 in my life.  I have met some nice people and e-mail/text/phone chat before meeting for coffee in a public place.  So far though, the best dates I've been on have been with a gentleman that I met through a mutual friend.  There is no way in heck that I would tell ex that I am dating right now...if a relationship develops and sticks around, then he will be aware at some point, but until then he doesn't need to know about my personal life.  That's just my thoughts on it.

sep123

I am using match.com and find it to be pretty good in my area.  The nice thing about that is I make it very clearly known that I'm a single mom.  If it wasn't prior knowledge, I would make it known on the first date - just casually mention maybe, but I wouldn't be interested in dating someone that can't accept my package deal. 

I'm very new to the process, but am keeping an open mind.  I did take quite a bit of time to get myself into a good place with therapy and self-reflection, so I recommend that. 

And it is none of your X's business period.  Good luck!

appylovee

If online dating is what you would be interested in, I had very good luck with Match.com, and they usualy offer free three month trials. I have actually made some very good friends (dating didn't work out) and one of my friends met her husband on match. Most dating sites ask if you have children. If not I would definatly bring it up, because you don't want to waste your precious time with someone who has no intentions of being with someone with children.