I thought this was meant for support...

CashewsMommy

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

I believe baby gaga would be the PERFECT site for you!!!

We are a support group. We are not google. If you want to use us as your personal google... go right ahead. If you would rather take all of the lovely gifts and not give anything in return, go ahead. I however, like to PAY IT FORWARD. If someone gives me a gift, I like to give a gift in return. It's only fair, right?

It does get old really fast when people take, take, take and give nothing in return. It makes them selfish. I don't like selfish people. But once again, if you want to be selfish... go right ahead.  

lizmitchell15

And just so you all are aware...It took me a year and a half to get me first BFP and I've had two losses this year...so I understand the frustration of TTC as well as the immense grief of a loss all too well.

lizmitchell15

CashewsMommy:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

I believe baby gaga would be the PERFECT site for you!!!

We are a support group. We are not google. If you want to use us as your personal google... go right ahead. If you would rather take all of the lovely gifts and not give anything in return, go ahead. I however, like to PAY IT FORWARD. If someone gives me a gift, I like to give a gift in return. It's only fair, right?

It does get old really fast when people take, take, take and give nothing in return. It makes them selfish. I don't like selfish people. But once again, if you want to be selfish... go right ahead.  

I do it pay it forward...I just don't EXPECT everyone else too! Thank you.

cg0112358

lizmitchell15:

cg0112358:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

If a complete strange were to come up to you and tell you they got a BFP and you have spent months or even years TTC with no results other than possibly more miscarriages would you really be able to be all happy and bubbly regarding their good news?

On the other hand, a good friend who has struggled and supported you through all of your troubles announces a BFP, are you happy for her? Yes, b/c you know everything that she has gone through to get there.

I do believe that giving support is something that should be done out of the kindness of your heart but it is hard for some people when someone has been here maybe one cycle and has contributed very little in the way of support but wants to AW their BFP to those who are still struggling with their loss or their inability to conceive.

Absolutely. The one thing I have learned through all my struggles of trying to get a take home baby is that every birth is truly a miracle and I am overjoyed to see people having success!!! Does it somewhat sting that it isn't my joy yet...of course...but I am still genuinely happy for others. I guess it's just my nature.

Taking the other perspective, would you choose to go announce your pregnancy to a group of women that you don't know that well but do know are struggling with loss and an inability to conceive?

yeliza h

csuperstar02

lizmitchell15:

If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

You can't. You'd have to email the bump. I'm sure someone can give you the actual email address.

The easiest way is to

1. look in the upper right side of TB screen and click 'Log Out'

B. go to the upper right corner of your interwebz screen and click that pretty X

4. Don't log in again.

YWIA  

Have a happy new year!

CashewsMommy

lizmitchell15:

CashewsMommy:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

I believe baby gaga would be the PERFECT site for you!!!

We are a support group. We are not google. If you want to use us as your personal google... go right ahead. If you would rather take all of the lovely gifts and not give anything in return, go ahead. I however, like to PAY IT FORWARD. If someone gives me a gift, I like to give a gift in return. It's only fair, right?

It does get old really fast when people take, take, take and give nothing in return. It makes them selfish. I don't like selfish people. But once again, if you want to be selfish... go right ahead.  

I do it pay it forward...I just don't EXPECT everyone else too! Thank you.

The "you" was a collaborative "you" not a "you" meaning "you" personally. Thank you.  

I'm so glad you have a kind heart where you don't expect everyone else to. However, like I said, when you're on here a lot and are just run over by Dr. Google questions and are given nothing in return.... it wears you down quite quick. I don't expect a lot in return, but a little thank you wave, smile or even hug would be nice.  

lizmitchell15

cg0112358:

lizmitchell15:

cg0112358:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

If a complete strange were to come up to you and tell you they got a BFP and you have spent months or even years TTC with no results other than possibly more miscarriages would you really be able to be all happy and bubbly regarding their good news?

On the other hand, a good friend who has struggled and supported you through all of your troubles announces a BFP, are you happy for her? Yes, b/c you know everything that she has gone through to get there.

I do believe that giving support is something that should be done out of the kindness of your heart but it is hard for some people when someone has been here maybe one cycle and has contributed very little in the way of support but wants to AW their BFP to those who are still struggling with their loss or their inability to conceive.

Absolutely. The one thing I have learned through all my struggles of trying to get a take home baby is that every birth is truly a miracle and I am overjoyed to see people having success!!! Does it somewhat sting that it isn't my joy yet...of course...but I am still genuinely happy for others. I guess it's just my nature.

Taking the other perspective, would you choose to go announce your pregnancy to a group of women that you don't know that well but do know are struggling with loss and an inability to conceive?

No. I wouldn't. I'm just saying I wouldn't be mean to someone who did. That's all.

cg0112358

lizmitchell15:

cg0112358:

lizmitchell15:

cg0112358:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

If a complete strange were to come up to you and tell you they got a BFP and you have spent months or even years TTC with no results other than possibly more miscarriages would you really be able to be all happy and bubbly regarding their good news?

On the other hand, a good friend who has struggled and supported you through all of your troubles announces a BFP, are you happy for her? Yes, b/c you know everything that she has gone through to get there.

I do believe that giving support is something that should be done out of the kindness of your heart but it is hard for some people when someone has been here maybe one cycle and has contributed very little in the way of support but wants to AW their BFP to those who are still struggling with their loss or their inability to conceive.

Absolutely. The one thing I have learned through all my struggles of trying to get a take home baby is that every birth is truly a miracle and I am overjoyed to see people having success!!! Does it somewhat sting that it isn't my joy yet...of course...but I am still genuinely happy for others. I guess it's just my nature.

Taking the other perspective, would you choose to go announce your pregnancy to a group of women that you don't know that well but do know are struggling with loss and an inability to conceive?

No. I wouldn't. I'm just saying I wouldn't be mean to someone who did. That's all.

But unless someone is there to tell them it is hurtful they won't learn. I honestly can't imagine announcing a BFP to someone that I barely know who has gone through IF or many losses.

Honestly, it was hard enough for me to tell my two close friends who have struggled with IF/SIF when I was pregnant this last time (I had to tell b/c the type of pregnancy I had made me balloon out and it was very obvious I was pregnant).

BarooGirl

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

It is perfectly fine to feel this way. If you dont want to give support here, dont. I am sure all the ladies on here wouldnt want you to fake being supportive. If you dont feel like being supportive, dont.

If you really feel this way, this probably isnt the place for you.

Thank you for at least being up front in not wanting to give support here.

lizmitchell15

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

It is perfectly fine to feel this way. If you dont want to give support here, dont. I am sure all the ladies on here wouldnt want you to fake being supportive. If you dont feel like being supportive, dont.

If you really feel this way, this probably isnt the place for you.

Thank you for at least being up front in not wanting to give support here.

Yeah, that's exactly what I said! Geez...some people need to stop reading things the way they WANT to read them just so they can write a snarky response. I believe throughtout the day I haven't once been snarky to anyone. Just responding with my thoughts and truly listening to everyone else's thoughts.

I'm sorry that any of us are here. It's completely unfair and hard to understand. I do, however, feel that we should be able to talk things through like adults without resorting to being snarky just for the sake of being snarky.

[Deleted User]

ckoch77:

Im sorry how bitchy this is going to sound but I am pretty well fed up with all the drama that goes on here. I know were all women and thats what you get with a bunch of women but I thought this board was meant for support, not criticism. I do not agree with many things I see on this board but do not call people out on it, especially so rudely!

CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?! 

No. If you don't like the atmosphere of this board, you are welcome to GTFO. 

BarooGirl

lizmitchell15:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

It is perfectly fine to feel this way. If you dont want to give support here, dont. I am sure all the ladies on here wouldnt want you to fake being supportive. If you dont feel like being supportive, dont.

If you really feel this way, this probably isnt the place for you.

Thank you for at least being up front in not wanting to give support here.

Yeah, that's exactly what I said! Geez...some people need to stop reading things the way they WANT to read them just so they can write a snarky response. I believe throughtout the day I haven't once been snarky to anyone. Just responding with my thoughts and truly listening to everyone else's thoughts.

I'm sorry that any of us are here. It's completely unfair and hard to understand. I do, however, feel that we should be able to talk things through like adults without resorting to being snarky just for the sake of being snarky.

Yea...because that was "snarky".

I really dont get why you are still here. You said you didnt want to be, you said (basically) you dont see the importance of give/get support relationship.

The majority of the board feels one way, you feel the other---what is so hard to understand? The people who have been here for years feel one way and you feel another...

Do you think you can change the board? We are happy how things are. We are fine with it.

What we are not fine with is someone who hasnt really been a part of this awesome group coming in and telling us how it "should be".

What we are not fine with is being only used as a personal google

What we are not fine with is being used period.

Join, participate or leave. Your choice. We love it here.

[Deleted User]

PetraStonegirl:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

I think I'm falling in love with Petra....

OP, you're repeating yourself. Give up. like I said, if you don't like it, leave. 

 

lizmitchell15

MissMheMhe:

lizmitchell15:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

It is perfectly fine to feel this way. If you dont want to give support here, dont. I am sure all the ladies on here wouldnt want you to fake being supportive. If you dont feel like being supportive, dont.

If you really feel this way, this probably isnt the place for you.

Thank you for at least being up front in not wanting to give support here.

Yeah, that's exactly what I said! Geez...some people need to stop reading things the way they WANT to read them just so they can write a snarky response. I believe throughtout the day I haven't once been snarky to anyone. Just responding with my thoughts and truly listening to everyone else's thoughts.

I'm sorry that any of us are here. It's completely unfair and hard to understand. I do, however, feel that we should be able to talk things through like adults without resorting to being snarky just for the sake of being snarky.

Something doesn't add up...

That may have been a little snarky...admittedly...but mostly it was frustration for my words being twisted and used for someone's unfounded snarkiness.

CashewsMommy

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

It is perfectly fine to feel this way. If you dont want to give support here, dont. I am sure all the ladies on here wouldnt want you to fake being supportive. If you dont feel like being supportive, dont.

If you really feel this way, this probably isnt the place for you.

Thank you for at least being up front in not wanting to give support here.

Yeah, that's exactly what I said! Geez...some people need to stop reading things the way they WANT to read them just so they can write a snarky response. I believe throughtout the day I haven't once been snarky to anyone. Just responding with my thoughts and truly listening to everyone else's thoughts.

I'm sorry that any of us are here. It's completely unfair and hard to understand. I do, however, feel that we should be able to talk things through like adults without resorting to being snarky just for the sake of being snarky.

Yea...because that was "snarky".

I really dont get why you are still here. You said you didnt want to be, you said (basically) you dont see the importance of give/get support relationship.

The majority of the board feels one way, you feel the other---what is so hard to understand? The people who have been here for years feel one way and you feel another...

Do you think you can change the board? We are happy how things are. We are fine with it.

What we are not fine with is someone who hasnt really been a part of this awesome group coming in and telling us how it "should be".

What we are not fine with is being only used as a personal google

What we are not fine with is being used period.

Join, participate or leave. Your choice. We love it here.

I was wondering why she's still here too. Didn't she GBCB??  

BarooGirl

CashewsMommy:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

It is perfectly fine to feel this way. If you dont want to give support here, dont. I am sure all the ladies on here wouldnt want you to fake being supportive. If you dont feel like being supportive, dont.

If you really feel this way, this probably isnt the place for you.

Thank you for at least being up front in not wanting to give support here.

Yeah, that's exactly what I said! Geez...some people need to stop reading things the way they WANT to read them just so they can write a snarky response. I believe throughtout the day I haven't once been snarky to anyone. Just responding with my thoughts and truly listening to everyone else's thoughts.

I'm sorry that any of us are here. It's completely unfair and hard to understand. I do, however, feel that we should be able to talk things through like adults without resorting to being snarky just for the sake of being snarky.

Yea...because that was "snarky".

I really dont get why you are still here. You said you didnt want to be, you said (basically) you dont see the importance of give/get support relationship.

The majority of the board feels one way, you feel the other---what is so hard to understand? The people who have been here for years feel one way and you feel another...

Do you think you can change the board? We are happy how things are. We are fine with it.

What we are not fine with is someone who hasnt really been a part of this awesome group coming in and telling us how it "should be".

What we are not fine with is being only used as a personal google

What we are not fine with is being used period.

Join, participate or leave. Your choice. We love it here.

I was wondering why she's still here too. Didn't she GBCB??  

A couple of times.

She hardly posts over here then BAM, more posts today than ever.

lizmitchell15

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

It is perfectly fine to feel this way. If you dont want to give support here, dont. I am sure all the ladies on here wouldnt want you to fake being supportive. If you dont feel like being supportive, dont.

If you really feel this way, this probably isnt the place for you.

Thank you for at least being up front in not wanting to give support here.

Yeah, that's exactly what I said! Geez...some people need to stop reading things the way they WANT to read them just so they can write a snarky response. I believe throughtout the day I haven't once been snarky to anyone. Just responding with my thoughts and truly listening to everyone else's thoughts.

I'm sorry that any of us are here. It's completely unfair and hard to understand. I do, however, feel that we should be able to talk things through like adults without resorting to being snarky just for the sake of being snarky.

Yea...because that was "snarky".

I really dont get why you are still here. You said you didnt want to be, you said (basically) you dont see the importance of give/get support relationship.

The majority of the board feels one way, you feel the other---what is so hard to understand? The people who have been here for years feel one way and you feel another...

Do you think you can change the board? We are happy how things are. We are fine with it.

What we are not fine with is someone who hasnt really been a part of this awesome group coming in and telling us how it "should be".

What we are not fine with is being only used as a personal google

What we are not fine with is being used period.

Join, participate or leave. Your choice. We love it here.

What you're saying is completely unfounded...I have never said I don't want to give support...I said I wouldn't be mean to someone who didn't. That's it. Stop reading more into it that what there really is.

Also, Baroo, I have followed your posts probably the most because of how similar our situations are. I have supported you when you were over on the m/c/loss board. So I do support. Thanks.

[Deleted User]

lizmitchell15:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

It is perfectly fine to feel this way. If you dont want to give support here, dont. I am sure all the ladies on here wouldnt want you to fake being supportive. If you dont feel like being supportive, dont.

If you really feel this way, this probably isnt the place for you.

Thank you for at least being up front in not wanting to give support here.

Yeah, that's exactly what I said! Geez...some people need to stop reading things the way they WANT to read them just so they can write a snarky response. I believe throughtout the day I haven't once been snarky to anyone. Just responding with my thoughts and truly listening to everyone else's thoughts.

I'm sorry that any of us are here. It's completely unfair and hard to understand. I do, however, feel that we should be able to talk things through like adults without resorting to being snarky just for the sake of being snarky.

Yea...because that was "snarky".

I really dont get why you are still here. You said you didnt want to be, you said (basically) you dont see the importance of give/get support relationship.

The majority of the board feels one way, you feel the other---what is so hard to understand? The people who have been here for years feel one way and you feel another...

Do you think you can change the board? We are happy how things are. We are fine with it.

What we are not fine with is someone who hasnt really been a part of this awesome group coming in and telling us how it "should be".

What we are not fine with is being only used as a personal google

What we are not fine with is being used period.

Join, participate or leave. Your choice. We love it here.

What you're saying is completely unfounded...I have never said I don't want to give support...I said I wouldn't be mean to someone who didn't. That's it. Stop reading more into it that what there really is.

Also, Baroo, I have followed your posts probably the most because of how similar our situations are. I have supported you when you were over on the m/c/loss board. So I do support. Thanks.

Being a "silent" supporter isn't supportive. You have to actually give support...like out loud...not in your head. You said you mostly lurk. Well I'm sorry to inform you that lurking is by no means giving support. That's probably what Baroo meant.

lizmitchell15

MrsNorry:

lizmitchell15:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

It is perfectly fine to feel this way. If you dont want to give support here, dont. I am sure all the ladies on here wouldnt want you to fake being supportive. If you dont feel like being supportive, dont.

If you really feel this way, this probably isnt the place for you.

Thank you for at least being up front in not wanting to give support here.

Yeah, that's exactly what I said! Geez...some people need to stop reading things the way they WANT to read them just so they can write a snarky response. I believe throughtout the day I haven't once been snarky to anyone. Just responding with my thoughts and truly listening to everyone else's thoughts.

I'm sorry that any of us are here. It's completely unfair and hard to understand. I do, however, feel that we should be able to talk things through like adults without resorting to being snarky just for the sake of being snarky.

Yea...because that was "snarky".

I really dont get why you are still here. You said you didnt want to be, you said (basically) you dont see the importance of give/get support relationship.

The majority of the board feels one way, you feel the other---what is so hard to understand? The people who have been here for years feel one way and you feel another...

Do you think you can change the board? We are happy how things are. We are fine with it.

What we are not fine with is someone who hasnt really been a part of this awesome group coming in and telling us how it "should be".

What we are not fine with is being only used as a personal google

What we are not fine with is being used period.

Join, participate or leave. Your choice. We love it here.

What you're saying is completely unfounded...I have never said I don't want to give support...I said I wouldn't be mean to someone who didn't. That's it. Stop reading more into it that what there really is.

Also, Baroo, I have followed your posts probably the most because of how similar our situations are. I have supported you when you were over on the m/c/loss board. So I do support. Thanks.

Being a "silent" supporter isn't supportive. You have to actually give support...like out loud...not in your head. You said you mostly lurk. Well I'm sorry to inform you that lurking is by no means giving support. That's probably what Baroo meant.

I was speaking about being a posting supporter...not a silent supporter...thanks. Yes, I do lurk a lot...only because I am usually at a loss for words. If you read and followed along today you would have known that. Too many times we read only what we want to read and to hell with the rest of it I guess.

[Deleted User]

lizmitchell15:

MrsNorry:

lizmitchell15:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

It is perfectly fine to feel this way. If you dont want to give support here, dont. I am sure all the ladies on here wouldnt want you to fake being supportive. If you dont feel like being supportive, dont.

If you really feel this way, this probably isnt the place for you.

Thank you for at least being up front in not wanting to give support here.

Yeah, that's exactly what I said! Geez...some people need to stop reading things the way they WANT to read them just so they can write a snarky response. I believe throughtout the day I haven't once been snarky to anyone. Just responding with my thoughts and truly listening to everyone else's thoughts.

I'm sorry that any of us are here. It's completely unfair and hard to understand. I do, however, feel that we should be able to talk things through like adults without resorting to being snarky just for the sake of being snarky.

Yea...because that was "snarky".

I really dont get why you are still here. You said you didnt want to be, you said (basically) you dont see the importance of give/get support relationship.

The majority of the board feels one way, you feel the other---what is so hard to understand? The people who have been here for years feel one way and you feel another...

Do you think you can change the board? We are happy how things are. We are fine with it.

What we are not fine with is someone who hasnt really been a part of this awesome group coming in and telling us how it "should be".

What we are not fine with is being only used as a personal google

What we are not fine with is being used period.

Join, participate or leave. Your choice. We love it here.

What you're saying is completely unfounded...I have never said I don't want to give support...I said I wouldn't be mean to someone who didn't. That's it. Stop reading more into it that what there really is.

Also, Baroo, I have followed your posts probably the most because of how similar our situations are. I have supported you when you were over on the m/c/loss board. So I do support. Thanks.

Being a "silent" supporter isn't supportive. You have to actually give support...like out loud...not in your head. You said you mostly lurk. Well I'm sorry to inform you that lurking is by no means giving support. That's probably what Baroo meant.

I was speaking about being a posting supporter...not a silent supporter...thanks. Yes, I do lurk a lot...only because I am usually at a loss for words. If you read and followed along today you would have known that. Too many times we read only what we want to read and to hell with the rest of it I guess.

If you say so.

LaTi07

Can we just cut the bull$hit and get to the point already?

You don't have to agree with the board. Quite frankly, I don't care if you do. You can sit here and argue and call us snarky and whatever, you aren't the first, but the fact is you aren't going to change anything. Some basic rules were put into play LONG before you sweetheart to prevent the very havoc that happened this morning and the subsequent crap you started. Having been here for 9 months and counting now I can tell you this has come up countless times and it always ends the same, the rules aren't changing.

I'm over your holier than thou attitude with support. Sure you can call it a gift and say you shouldn't expect anything in return, but you are only saying that because you are one of the jerks who doesn't give support yet expects it. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to waste my time investing any type of thought into someone who hasn't given a flying flip what has gone on with any of the women around here. You lurk, whoopee! If you have time to lurk, you have time to post.

[Deleted User]

LaTi07:

Can we just cut the bull$hit and get to the point already?

You don't have to agree with the board. Quite frankly, I don't care if you do. You can sit here and argue and call us snarky and whatever, you aren't the first, but the fact is you aren't going to change anything. Some basic rules were put into play LONG before you sweetheart to prevent the very havoc that happened this morning and the subsequent crap you started. Having been here for 9 months and counting now I can tell you this has come up countless times and it always ends the same, the rules aren't changing.

I'm over your holier than thou attitude with support. Sure you can call it a gift and say you shouldn't expect anything in return, but you are only saying that because you are one of the jerks who doesn't give support yet expects it. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to waste my time investing any type of thought into someone who hasn't given a flying flip what has gone on with any of the women around here. You lurk, whoopee! If you have time to lurk, you have time to post.

Thank you, LaTi, that's what I was getting at.

BarooGirl

lizmitchell15:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

It is perfectly fine to feel this way. If you dont want to give support here, dont. I am sure all the ladies on here wouldnt want you to fake being supportive. If you dont feel like being supportive, dont.

If you really feel this way, this probably isnt the place for you.

Thank you for at least being up front in not wanting to give support here.

Yeah, that's exactly what I said! Geez...some people need to stop reading things the way they WANT to read them just so they can write a snarky response. I believe throughtout the day I haven't once been snarky to anyone. Just responding with my thoughts and truly listening to everyone else's thoughts.

I'm sorry that any of us are here. It's completely unfair and hard to understand. I do, however, feel that we should be able to talk things through like adults without resorting to being snarky just for the sake of being snarky.

Yea...because that was "snarky".

I really dont get why you are still here. You said you didnt want to be, you said (basically) you dont see the importance of give/get support relationship.

The majority of the board feels one way, you feel the other---what is so hard to understand? The people who have been here for years feel one way and you feel another...

Do you think you can change the board? We are happy how things are. We are fine with it.

What we are not fine with is someone who hasnt really been a part of this awesome group coming in and telling us how it "should be".

What we are not fine with is being only used as a personal google

What we are not fine with is being used period.

Join, participate or leave. Your choice. We love it here.

What you're saying is completely unfounded...I have never said I don't want to give support...I said I wouldn't be mean to someone who didn't. That's it. Stop reading more into it that what there really is.

Also, Baroo, I have followed your posts probably the most because of how similar our situations are. I have supported you when you were over on the m/c/loss board. So I do support. Thanks.

Liz, I just read your post about being a lurker. I cant put it together with how this thread as gone.

Maybe you havent noticed that in the last few days and before Christmas- The holidays suck for many of us. I have been doing really well emotionally but then Christmas just brought out a sadness--as I am sure many other on here felt the same way. We were all feeling a bit on edge --it sucks to have to put on the happy face for everyone when the families get together, it sucks to not have that little stocking hanging with the other, this whole season reminds us constantly. As I am sure you are feeling too.

The last couple of days, even Christmas morning we have had drive by BFP from people we dont "know" and phishings- man, they sucked. Lots of us like to come here to excape from all the FHs and "in your face" baby stuff from strangers.--it sucks to see it here. It is like a slap in the face. So yes, we get snarky to strangers who want us to be happy for them. And yes, this place is like a little family to us. I really think that if you would have joined in and not just lurked all this time, you would "get" this.

Like I said earlier, just join in. This place really is great.

And thank you for following me, I wish I knew you better if our stories are similar.

lizmitchell15

LaTi07:

Can we just cut the bull$hit and get to the point already?

You don't have to agree with the board. Quite frankly, I don't care if you do. You can sit here and argue and call us snarky and whatever, you aren't the first, but the fact is you aren't going to change anything. Some basic rules were put into play LONG before you sweetheart to prevent the very havoc that happened this morning and the subsequent crap you started. Having been here for 9 months and counting now I can tell you this has come up countless times and it always ends the same, the rules aren't changing.

I'm over your holier than thou attitude with support. Sure you can call it a gift and say you shouldn't expect anything in return, but you are only saying that because you are one of the jerks who doesn't give support yet expects it. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to waste my time investing any type of thought into someone who hasn't given a flying flip what has gone on with any of the women around here. You lurk, whoopee! If you have time to lurk, you have time to post.

I don't think I'm holier than thou or expect to change anything...just trying to give new perspective on things. That simple. I'm sorry that you've been here for 9 months...I think that's just awful and completely sucks.

I'm tired of having to defend myself and how I feel. I'm glad I look at the world with a hopeful heart and be happy for those who are more fortunate than I am no matter what they've been dealing with or how long they've been dealing with it.

I will not be leaving the bump because a few people said some things that gave incentive to try and post more...they said they wished I would post more and I will try to give them that. They were nice and not snarky or rude or just down right mean. I regulary post on the Multiple Loss Check In and I will continue to post there for sure. Thanks.

lizmitchell15

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

BarooGirl:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

It is perfectly fine to feel this way. If you dont want to give support here, dont. I am sure all the ladies on here wouldnt want you to fake being supportive. If you dont feel like being supportive, dont.

If you really feel this way, this probably isnt the place for you.

Thank you for at least being up front in not wanting to give support here.

Yeah, that's exactly what I said! Geez...some people need to stop reading things the way they WANT to read them just so they can write a snarky response. I believe throughtout the day I haven't once been snarky to anyone. Just responding with my thoughts and truly listening to everyone else's thoughts.

I'm sorry that any of us are here. It's completely unfair and hard to understand. I do, however, feel that we should be able to talk things through like adults without resorting to being snarky just for the sake of being snarky.

Yea...because that was "snarky".

I really dont get why you are still here. You said you didnt want to be, you said (basically) you dont see the importance of give/get support relationship.

The majority of the board feels one way, you feel the other---what is so hard to understand? The people who have been here for years feel one way and you feel another...

Do you think you can change the board? We are happy how things are. We are fine with it.

What we are not fine with is someone who hasnt really been a part of this awesome group coming in and telling us how it "should be".

What we are not fine with is being only used as a personal google

What we are not fine with is being used period.

Join, participate or leave. Your choice. We love it here.

What you're saying is completely unfounded...I have never said I don't want to give support...I said I wouldn't be mean to someone who didn't. That's it. Stop reading more into it that what there really is.

Also, Baroo, I have followed your posts probably the most because of how similar our situations are. I have supported you when you were over on the m/c/loss board. So I do support. Thanks.

Liz, I just read your post about being a lurker. I cant put it together with how this thread as gone.

Maybe you havent noticed that in the last few days and before Christmas- The holidays suck for many of us. I have been doing really well emotionally but then Christmas just brought out a sadness--as I am sure many other on here felt the same way. We were all feeling a bit on edge --it sucks to have to put on the happy face for everyone when the families get together, it sucks to not have that little stocking hanging with the other, this whole season reminds us constantly. As I am sure you are feeling too.

The last couple of days, even Christmas morning we have had drive by BFP from people we dont "know" and phishings- man, they sucked. Lots of us like to come here to excape from all the FHs and "in your face" baby stuff from strangers.--it sucks to see it here. It is like a slap in the face. So yes, we get snarky to strangers who want us to be happy for them. And yes, this place is like a little family to us. I really think that if you would have joined in and not just lurked all this time, you would "get" this.

Like I said earlier, just join in. This place really is great.

And thank you for following me, I wish I knew you better if our stories are similar.

I completely understand that. I really do. My Christmas sucked and was heart wrenching on many levels. I thought I posted my story on here once before...I can't remember honestly, but if I haven't I will.

on_a_whim

ckoch77:

Im sorry how bitchy this is going to sound but I am pretty well fed up with all the drama that goes on here. I know were all women and thats what you get with a bunch of women but I thought this board was meant for support, not criticism. I do not agree with many things I see on this board but do not call people out on it, especially so rudely!

CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?! 

FFS....

...and...

 

foxxy1

I never thought I would see the day there's drama on TTCAL. Just wow.

yeliza h

cg0112358:

lizmitchell15:

I don't know...I keep seeing all these replies about "don't expect support if you haven't given support" and my mind keeps going to the old saying that a gift isn't truly a gift if you're expecting something in return. I believe that giving support is much like giving a gift. You're supposed to do it out of the kindness of your heart, not out of the expectation to get some in return.

That being said, I'm feeling more and more that this site isn't the site for me. If someone could let me know how to completely delete a profile I think I am leaning towards that route at this point. Thanks.

If a complete strange were to come up to you and tell you they got a BFP and you have spent months or even years TTC with no results other than possibly more miscarriages would you really be able to be all happy and bubbly regarding their good news?

On the other hand, a good friend who has struggled and supported you through all of your troubles announces a BFP, are you happy for her? Yes, b/c you know everything that she has gone through to get there.

I do believe that giving support is something that should be done out of the kindness of your heart but it is hard for some people when someone has been here maybe one cycle and has contributed very little in the way of support but wants to AW their BFP to those who are still struggling with their loss or their inability to conceive.

Everything you said.....