Preparing Older Sibling

TheMutleys

Did you do anything to prepare your older child for baby's arrival?

I feel like DS has no idea and is too young to comprehend the idea of another baby coming into our home.  I talk to him about babies when we see them at playgroups.  He is gentle with them, but he already understands the word gentle because we have dogs.     

One of his favorite things to do is find my belly button and push it in.  That is the extent to which my belly intrigues him.  Haha.  

Right now, I am feeling like his adjustment is going to be something that happens in the moment and isn't something that we can really prepare him for.  DH and I have talked about how we are going to work on still having one-on-one time with him.

Any advice would be appreciated.   

rosesandpeonies

My daughter was 18 months when her sister was born.  She was clueless.  She did notice my belly at the end and said baby, but once her sister was out she never did that again...

Only thing she did was climbing out of the crib the same week as my other daughter was born.  UGH

I ended up having to get a crib tent because she kept doing it and the pedi told me not to transition to big girl bed until the new baby transition had happened. 

That was it though.

Just give him lots of love, hugs and kisses and be sure if he is home when you bring the baby home that you have someone else walk in with the baby and you greet him right away.   Just one thing i was told to do...

I think my daughter is much, much more jealous now and having more trouble as her sister gets older than she did when the baby was born!  We really had no issues. 

sweetpea2003

It is really tough to prepare the under 2 set.  I just talked to my DD (she was 16 months when DS was born) while I was pregnant, told her about her baby brother coming, etc.  I got her a Corolle baby doll and put boy clothes on him and named him Patrick (DS's middle name).  I got her her own little diaper bag with cloth diapers and a bib and some burp clothes.  That way she could "change" her baby while I changed DS.  This didn't really start actually happening until she was closer to 2, but she did appreciate having her own baby doll.

Practically speaking, I did make sure she wasn't taking bottles for about 2 months before he arrived so that she wouldn't regress in that area.  I BFed and pumped so the bottles were around and I so I made a huge effort to totally do away with the bottles by the time she was 13/14 months.  I also worked on her sleep habits.  SHe has always been a pretty good sleeper, but often had a little wake-up at 3AM and I worked to nip that before DS arrived.  Also, create a "safe space" for your toddler where they can play with their toys alone and not be bothered.  One of hte hardest 2u2 transitions for us was when DS became mobile and was allllll over DD and her things.  Being 2, she doesn't understand that he doesn't know personal space.  Trying to explain things like personal space, sharing, and a baby's oblivious nature is really tough (um, impossible?) so it really helped to give DD a space where she knows she can play without any little fingers snatching her things .

TheMutleys

Thanks ladies.  I figured that there wasn't much we could really do ahead of time.  It is going to be more of an audible once the baby arrives and as they both grow/change.  

 

 

MBicsko

sweetpea....how did you nip the 3 am waking in the bud?  My DD has been waking up and whining/crying in the middle of the night for the past few weeks.  She is just about 19 months old and I am not sure if its a phase but it stinks!!

Mrs.T22308

We bought a baby doll and have kept it in the swing in the living room.  We try and incorporate the baby "activities" daily with DS so he gets used to some of the things babies need/do. 

For example, in the evening we have him sit down with the boppy and have him hold the doll, praising him when he does well and it gentle.  We'll give him an empy bottle so he can hold it in its mouth.  We've "changed its diaper" so he can see that we'll need to do that too. The doll also gets put in the new baby's crib for bed every night.

I don't know how much of it he "gets" or understands but we hope to make it easier of a transition when the real baby comes LOL

sweetpea2003

MBicsko:

sweetpea....how did you nip the 3 am waking in the bud?  My DD has been waking up and whining/crying in the middle of the night for the past few weeks.  She is just about 19 months old and I am not sure if its a phase but it stinks!!

Honestly?  I just stopped responding to it .  I had done a lot of reading and knew that she didn't need to eat at that age (14 months).  She was warm, safe, and totally fine.  It was a habitual wake up and her reward was me coming in and cuddling/talking/holding...  So, I took away the reward.  It only took a few nights for her to stop waking and crying. 

Before anyone thinks I am mean, there is a HUGE difference (then and now) between her "please come keep me company" cry and her "something is wrong" cry.  I knew nothing was wrong.  

We are at this point with DS now too...  he STTN about 50% of the time and has a 3AMish wake up the other 50% of the time.  DH and I are working on trying to let him be and not respond when we know everything is okay.  It is hard to listen to crying, but usually resolves quickly in a few nights.