Do you ever feel like...

foxxy1

...some people are comforting you not because they genuinely care but because they like watching a train-wreck?

I'm just getting that feeling from a few 'friends' and coworkers. It's almost as if they're surprised I'm not breaking down and crying every 5 minutes. Yes, I'm in pain and I'll always mourn for Ethan but if I'm constantly inconsolable, what good would I be to anyone else?  My son would want me to move on and eventually become happy again.

And on top of it, a coworker had the nerve to tell me to my face, 'I can't imagine what you're going through,' to which I shot back, 'And I hope you never do.'

Ugh.boo.hiss. Vent over.

pottermommy

Ugh, I'm sorry.  I think people think they are helping by being honest and saying they don't understand but really it would be much better if they just said, I love you and I am sorry...I mean it is much better, and highly unlikely to end in a throat punch.....

I am sure people don't want you to be broken down all the time, but sometimes they do seem to like to be involved where they don't need to be.  I didn't talk to people besides hubby and mom for about 3 weeks after Kam b/c they just got on my nerves...

Sorry you are having to deal with the insensitive and irritating side of things.

hewinked

After losing Adam, I got a lot of friend requests on FB.  I accepted most of them cuz I felt like it was more support.  Then some of them never said sorry for your loss or even said anything at all.  I felt like they were being nosy, watching my train wreck of a life.  I deleted a lot of people.  I don't want support unless it's genuine. 

magdalina.h

People usually expect us,in the beginning, to be a mess and that's why they avoid us. When we aren't it's like are they over it yet, already?

I hate the I can't imagine line. Yeah, I couldn't either, but you don't have to tell me that

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Carolee

Yes - I was actually surprised at the number of "friends" I thought I had who turned out to really not be.  It stinks.

Petunia844

I'm sorry you feel this way, I also hate "I can't imagine."  On the same token, I had one friend tell me that a girl we went to college with who now has a baby "sends her  love" and then she went on to say she felt like mothers understood my pain better.  I know she didn't mean anything by it but I had to say back "nobody understands if they haven't been here."  It feels better to just say what I feel as long as it's not hurtful.

drvst8

magdalina.h:

People usually expect us,in the beginning, to be a mess and that's why they avoid us. When we aren't it's like are they over it yet, already?

I hate the I can't imagine line. Yeah, I couldn't either, but you don't have to tell me that

This exactly. Plus The "look" gets to me everytime. You guys all know what I'm talking about. Sometimes I just wish people would say what they are thinking...instead of giving me the "look"