Would you be upset?

hmt7

My father and stepmother treat my daughter as if she was their kid......my husband and I get VERY annoyed with them sometimes (ok, a lot) since they disregard our rules and wishes.

They had mentioned to my daughter that "Santa" was coming to THEIR house to bring her gifts.  I corrected them and told them that "No, Santa comes on Xmas eve to our house".  We wait years to be able to have this happiness, their time is over.

So we show up to their house Xmas eve and on all the gifts from them, it says "love Santa".  Then, they make it a point to say that Santa brought them.  I spoke up right away (trying not to be too hormonal) and said that No, Santa comes to our house tonight.  

What is their problem?!   Would you be annoyed by this?  And like I said, this is not an isolated incident.....they do things like this all the time.....

melisa7901

My MIL tried to do this same thing by telling DD that Santa was coming to her house.  I quickly squashed that with the same thing you said "Santa only comes to our house."  Luckily she got the message.  I would definitely be annoyed that they didn't listen.  And plus, why would Santa deliver presents to their house on Christmas Eve before she goes to bed? 

jannv11

I would be annoyed.  i think both my parents wrote santa on the tag but DS can't read and doesn't look at the tag anyway.

JOEBunny

This is not the hill I would die on.  Did your child even care who the gifts were from?  Was he concerned that he got Santa gifts, instead of grandparent gifts?  My kids don't care who gives what.  I don't even think it is clear to them, especially a few days later. 

Emilia0101

Annoying yes, but like the PP said not the hill I would die on. At 3 presents are presents no matter who brought them. 

Brewtowngrl

I am laid back, but this would annoy me.  Next year it will confuse her even more. 

shopgirl78

Ummm, no but in our book Santa technically goes to all houses in all countries all over the world bringing gifts. So, MIL saying that he came to hers wouldn't bother me. Even tho, I don't really like my MIL and in other ways she tries to parent my child.   I really hope you didn't argue the magic of Santa Claus in front of your child.  

AmandaP678

shopgirl78:

Ummm, no but in our book Santa technically goes to all houses in all countries all over the world bringing gifts. So, MIL saying that he came to hers wouldn't bother me. Even tho, I don't really like my MIL and in other ways she tries to parent my child.   I really hope you didn't argue the magic of Santa Claus in front of your child.  

All of this especially the not really liking MIL lol

*sallymad*

AmandaP678:

shopgirl78:

Ummm, no but in our book Santa technically goes to all houses in all countries all over the world bringing gifts. So, MIL saying that he came to hers wouldn't bother me. Even tho, I don't really like my MIL and in other ways she tries to parent my child.   I really hope you didn't argue the magic of Santa Claus in front of your child.  

All of this especially the not really liking MIL lol

Ditto. Again. Except I like my mil.

Torani

I would talk about it to them NOT in front of you daughter and tell them that you would really like to do the Santa thing Xmas morning.  If they would like to give her presents from Santa, then they need to get them to you privately so you can put them out after she's in bed. 

FYI, my husband always celebrated on Xmas Eve at his grandparents house.  The lived out in the middle of nowhere, so the kids were told that Santa came a day early because it was so far away.  They believed it right up until the point they figured out that he wasn't real anyway.  If they brought toys again "from Santa" I would just tell her that silly Santa thought you lived at their house and dropped them off early.  Really, she won't care, it's presents!

leslie13510

I would be annoyed, but mainly because of all the "But why does Santa come to Grandpa's house today, and won't come to ours until tonight?" questions my kids would have asked.  Holy unnecessary explanations there, Grandpa. 

If they want to insist that Santa comes to their house too, I'd just make sure we didn't visit them until after Christmas morning so there was no confusion on when Santa comes.  

EastCoastBride

shopgirl78:

Ummm, no but in our book Santa technically goes to all houses in all countries all over the world bringing gifts. So, MIL saying that he came to hers wouldn't bother me. Even tho, I don't really like my MIL and in other ways she tries to parent my child.   I really hope you didn't argue the magic of Santa Claus in front of your child.  

All of this.

I get it that you have issues w/ your IL's. But this is a case of "don't cry wolf".  Is this really THE issue to flip out over?  If you have other issues w/ them not supporting your rules, then deal w/ THAT issue.  But to make a stand over Santa?  A FICTIONAL character?  Come on.

sunnyday016

I get being annoyed with them about disregarding your parenting decisions in general, but I don't think I'd be bothered by this incident itself.

MrsCripe10

My MIL brought this up and DD asked.  I told her Santa only comes to houses where kids live.  She had her turn at Santa, now it's mine.  On another note, MIL then showed  up at my house at 7:45 Christmas morning.  I flipped on my DH later.  This is our family time.

ryry1977

I would be very upset.  I would defantly set them straight!  No way does Santa come to grandparents house as well as LOs house.  If they want to give to the Santa presents then they  can give them to you to have at your house...not theirs!  The presents at their house are from them!

LSzwaya

I would be too. I made it clear like other posters that santa only comes to our house. I just think we spend all year saving for gifts to make this magic moment and that should be respected. Plus, when DS is a bit older, it might confuse him why Santa would go to two places for him. 

stever

Does your SM have kids of her own? Mine doesn't so my dad kind of bends over backwards to make her feel involved in DS's life - she held him before my dad at the hospital, calls her Grandma and generally tries to push the idea of her as his grandmother. Drives me absolutely batty, but I get why he does it. That's why I asked about your SM and kids.

All that said, I'd cool it on the "Santa comes to OUR house!!!" thing because it's just going to make it awkward for everyone. It's annoying as hell, but not worth ruining Christmas. 

wendy25

I had the same thing happened last year at my ILs. DS was too small to understand Santa but I told MIL that Santa only comes to our house. Every gift tag that we opened with a tag from Santa, I said that the gift was from Grandma and Grandpop. They got the message because this year all of the tags said from Grandma and pop pop.

KathrynMD

I don't really understand the pettiness of this.  How does Santa going to your ILs and your house make Christmas any less special for your LO?  How does it diminish "your" Christmas, and even if it did, who cares?  Your a grown up, get over it, this is about your LO, not you.  You're just a passenger on your LO's ride through life - so get on board and take in all the sights.  You don't and can't control everything that he sees and who loves him/her and how they express it. 

testtubebaby

wha?  why would you be upset by this??  my mil has a friend dress up like santa and bring gifts to all the grandchildren every year on christmas eve.  and my parents go way overboard and buy our child tons of gifts and label them all from santa.  the more people my child has in her life to love her and celebrate christmas, the merrier.  i just don't understand why you would care.  just relax and enjoy the fact that your child has so many people in her life to enrich it, there are some kids out there who literally have nothing. 

hmt7

FIrst off, it is my dad, not my in-laws.  Second, the whole point I was trying to make was that they NEVER listen to my wishes, regardless of how petty or big they are.  For example, they took my daughter out at night for a walk on our very busy street without sidewalks after I told them not to (someone was just hit by a car a week prior).  The Santa thing was mentioned 2 weeks before, I asked them NOT to do it, and they still did.  So it is not something as stupid as the Santa thing (which i actually think is no stupid at all), it is the fact that they treat her like their own daughter and not mine (constantly calling her "their baby").  

carlab44

Obviously it sounds like there are underlying issues or problems, because I can't think of any other reason that this would be a big deal. At all. This year we were at my brother's for Christmas (~800 miles away). Guess what? Santa came to his house too! We had actually told the kids that he probably wouldn't bring too many presents there, that he'd leave most of them at our house. And sure enough when we got home from our trip the kids had more presents from Santa to open. It really doesn't require that much explanation.

Maybe there are other things they do with not listening to your wishes that are more severe, but this is most certainly NOT something I would pick as a battle. 

kreeper611

It seems like the issue is that they aren't doing what you ask more than the Santa thing.  That's a different conversation, and yes - I would be annoyed if either parent ignored my wishes, no matter what they are.

The Santa issue - not that big of a deal to me.  Santa came to our house and filled the stockings, but left gifts at my mom's house since we were there that night.  The ILs wanted DS to think Santa filled his stocking.  They didn't ask us, but I didn't care.  If they want to continue doing that from this point on, I really won't care.  They enjoy it, so I let it go. But everyone is different and you have a right to think your way with your kid.