Anyone grow up with three siblings?

mamarazzi

Everyone we know has three or less and grew up the same. In every single family with three kids, it seems there's an odd man out. I'm curious if it's the same with four kids. I know every family is different but I'm wondering about the general dynamic of four. 

(for the record, we are in no way ready for another child. We're trying to decide if h should have a vasectomy now or if we should leave the door open on a fourth.) 

winomom22

There was four of us growing up. I had an older sister, a younger sister and a younger brother. I was closest to my older sister growing up and still am (that could be that we are at similar stages in our lives though). My younger sister and brother were/are close. I don't really feel like there was ever an odd man out....maybe my brother sometimes, but it could be because he was the youngest and the only male. My mom, sisters and I do a girls weekend once a year that he doesn't go to...not sure if he feels left out about that or not but he always did more "male" activities with my dad and grandpa.

ETA: While I didn't care for having a large family growing up so much I LOVE it now. It's great having a big family....but not enough that I would want 4 of my own...2 is just right for us I don't think my parents should have had 4 though. I don't feel like we got as much individual time as we/I needed and my parents were always financially strapped. I think they were just burnt out and didn't have the time/energy for us kids...but they are same way as grandparents so it could just be their personalities..they are very selfish.

katie277s

DH is one of three, but his brothers are twins, so I think it's a little different than having two other siblings that are different ages.  He felt like the lone man out, because everyone referred to their family as "the ones with the twins...and that older kid".  

snowflakemom

I can't answer your question since I only have one sibling, but I just wanted to say that I worry about this often. DD1 & 2 are close right now. They play well together and are able to do a lot of the same things, but I worry that DD#2 will have "middle child syndrome." I'm hoping that she and DD#1 will remain close since #3 is going to be a boy (not that I want him to feel left out, either...). DH definitely wants to go for #4 partly because of this reason. I always said I'd never have an odd number, but I'm not really sure I'm up for 4, either.

shouldbworkin

I don't think there was ever an odd man out in DH's family with him and 2 brothers.  There was in mine, but that was entirely my parents fault.  My older sister and I didn't get along for awhile b/c she was an angsty teen, but once we did there was no odd man out. My younger sister was so much younger that she wasn't particularly close to my older sister either. As adults, there is definitely no odd man out.  SIL and BIL have 4 kids and I think that at any stage, there is always 1-2 kids that don't identify with what 1-2 of the other kids are doing at that time.  I think it just happens since they're all different ages, even if they are close in age. 

shopgirl78

I have 2 brother, so three of us total.  I am the oldest.  I was closest to my middle brother; we were 15 months apart and our younger brother was 4 years younger than me--3 years younger than my brother.

This is the nice thing about our arrangment of gender/ages.  DD and DS1 are close, they are all each other knew for a while and closest in ages and play great together.  Just like my middle brother and I.  I would say we were the closest two when we were young.

However, the 2 boys play great and play boyish things.  When DD plays with DS1 it tends to be more feminine (doesn't matter, it is what it is).  They boys play cars, crash and wrestle.   They do great esp if DD is off playing with her friends.  My brothers are still real close and do things together and I believe this will continue on like my boys.  My brothers are closer than me and either one of them now.

DD is a little mommy to DS2 (though sometimes he drives her crazy) but she does understand he is little.  From what I was told, I also played well with my baby brother and my youngest brother was the one that would play girly with me (like DS1 will with DD). 

I think each was left out at different times but sometimes it just worked..it gave sibling times with friends, alone time, etc

 

REOM

I grew up as one of three, and never felt like there was a consistent odd man out. Of course, sometimes I would do girly things with my sister, and then they would do things together b/c they were younger, etc, but no one ever felt ganged up on or left out.

SuperCuteBenz

I had 3 siblings, all brothers. So, I was always the odd one out, and I hated it. My brothers are all really close, but the youngest two are especially close to each other. We are all 2 years apart too.

This is a huge factor in us having 3 or stopping now, because I don't think 4 is an option for us. Everyone I have talked to in our family has said that they wished they either stopped at 2 or had 4.

I don't think there is any way of knowing how it is all going to play out. They could all end up being really close, or they could all hate each other. I love my brothers, but I have nothing in common with any of them, and I pretty much feel like an only child.

jlw2505

I am the youngest of 4 - my brother is the oldest and then I have 2 sisters.  My brother was typically left out but that really has all to do with the fact of 3 to 1.  Still happens and we are all in our 40's - mom took my sisters and I to FL last winter for her 70th birthday for a little get away and some time at a local spa and my brother was not invited.  We girls always did shopping and going to get our nails and that stuff and he was never included.  He married young (is now divorced) and my sisters and I all married in our 30's so that is part of it it now.  Growing up, we all got along as well as siblings do - we had our fights but overall, were always very close and no one really felt left out.  I think we deal with that more now as adults as my sisters kids are all the sames ages and my brothers are older and mine are younger so things just happen that way due to the kids ages but growing up, it was not really an issue.

dpeugh85

I am the youngest of 4 girls, my oldest sister is only 5.5 years older than me so we are very close in age.  Typically there was never an odd man out, it would always work out to be 2 on 2 if we were feuding.  In the off chance that one was an odd man out, it was usually for a pretty good reason and the situation worked itself out.  Ditto on not feeling like I got enough individual time from my parents, even with mom being a SAHM.  Again agree with PP on liking the large family now that we are all adults and can enjoy each others company more.

MoRoseT

I am the oldest of four....3 girls and 1 boy. I don't think any of us ever felt left out due to the number of kids. I do know that my brother had it pretty hard since he was the only boy....and still does.

I have the same concerns about having a 3rd though....if it's a girl, I feel like Noah will always feel left out, and vice versa with Olivia.  

squishywife

I grew up with three girls.  My youngest sister ALWAYS and still feels left out, has a lot to live up to, the failure (yeah, well dropping out of college senior year didnt help her effort to do well), etc......

You have a different situation because Ruby is the youngest and the boys have each other. 

Your kids are adorable which means you need more  

EMT

squishywife:

I grew up with three girls.  My youngest sister ALWAYS and still feels left out, has a lot to live up to, the failure (yeah, well dropping out of college senior year didnt help her effort to do well), etc......

This is DH's youngest brothers situation. DH is one of four boys and the youngest really struggles. I think it was difficult being the only one left with his parents when the others were off at college and he has always been the smallest/shortest of them (they are all athletic). The older 3 (DH included) have all been successful both personally and professionally but the youngest has yet to find his way.

 

Rebekah1021

I am #2 of 4 kids. I loved have siblings when I was a kid. Still do.

3 of the 4 of us are 2 years apart. My older brother is 4 years older than me. We are all very close and see each other all the time. I don't ever get the feeling of an odd man out. There was always someone to play with.

My sister is probably my best friend. 

Starr57

I grew up with 4 siblings. Not that 5 would be good if you aren't sure about 4, but the way I figure it, you're already outnumbered.