Anyone use a Doula?

elisbu

I'm just lurking right now, but after having a preemie via c-section I am really leaning towards a VBAC for our next pregnancy.

My DH is wonderful and was very supportive during my c-section, but I think I would like a doula, kind of as a coach, while DH would be my cheering section.

He is really against it because he feels like it means I don't need him.

So if you had a doula what was your experience? How was your DH? How did the doula interact with the OB and your DH?

TIA

preg_amy

I had a doula, and I really credit her with being one of the big reasons my VBAC was successful.  I had a really long labor and I pushed for a long time and she really helped me to keep going.

DH loved her too.  I think he liked it because it took a lot of pressure off of him to be "on" all the time.  Since I had a long labor... he was able to get some sleep and go out to get something to eat.  

He was also a better coach because of it.  While he means well... he's not trained in labor support, obviously.  So he would watch her, see the things that she said and did... and was able to help by doing the same things.  

One of the other things I loved having her for was that she was there to take pictures.  I wanted pictures of everything, and DH sucks at doing that.  So it was nice to get some pictures of me in labor.  And DH and I both caught the baby, so she was on hand to take pictures of that.

cwifekmom

My DH loved my doula!  At first he really didn't understand why I wanted one, but was supportive for whatever made me the most comfortable.  Once labor started, he was trying to support me the best way possible, and my L&D nurse, who was FANTASTIC helped him to know where to massage my back and such, but he was still very grateful when my doula arrived!  I loved having her becuase I was able to focus on her helping me deal with the pain and my DH enjoying the experience with me.  He was able to focus on the excitement with me, taking pictures when the baby was born, etc. without having to worry about helping me cope through the pain. 

 I will say that my labor made me feel so close to my DH and vice versa.  It was just an amazing experience to go through together and the doula did not take anything away from that.

iris427

I had a doula at both my deliveries and I never want to give birth without one.  A doula is not a replacement for your husband.  A good doula knows that bond between you two is powerful and she will help your husband use that bond to better support you.  A doula will bring her professional skills that most husbands simply don't have, like knowledge about labor positions, how to encourage optimal fetal positioning, how to advocate in a hospital environment, labor coping techniques, etc.  Your husband will bring his love for you and your baby, the relationship you share with hi, and no one else and that does not change whether there is a doula there or not.  My husband felt like our doulas were lifesavers.  He says he doesn't know what he would have done without them and they gave him the peace of mind to focus all his energy on me and baby.

 You can certainly vbac without a doula but I highly recommend them. 

babyike

I highly recommend using a doula.  I honestly needed both my DH and our doula.  I tend to have long labors, so they were able to rotate sleeping and helping me  And DH said over and over again that he was SO thankful she was with us both at home and at the hospital.  They got along just fine and seemed to work together with no issues.   Our midwives spoke very highly of our doula, so they also had no issues to speak of.  

Perhaps, you can talk your DH into at least meeting with a prospective doula?