Intro and rant — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

Intro and rant

Hi... I'm late to the party as I have been trying to justify/ignore my PPD for the last 7 months. I was just diagnosed this week, conveniently before the holidays when all the support available in my town takes a 2 week vacation.

I love my son- but he doesn't sleep at night which makes me crazy. I have two dogs that seem to annoy me to no end lately and get yelled at a lot- I feel bad and am trying to make an effort to spend some 'nice' time with them

DH works a lot and feels everything related to our son is my responsibility and if I need him to help I need to ask and then he complains and does stuff like go to bed at 8:30 because he is tired (meanwhile he slept all last night and I woke up with LO at 3, 5, and 7). I also am stupid and feel guilty when LO gets formula (I get nothing when I pump because I have supply issues) so I rarely leave him with anyone to give myself a break.

I was keeping busy and involved with another group of moms but tonight I decided to leave because I was feeling very judged as a bad mom, a feeling I am very good at putting on myself without the help of others. It was upsetting me far more than it was worth, I realized.

So hi everyone! Anyone care to share anything that has/is working for them?

Re: Intro and rant

  • I didn't realize I had PPD until 9 months in. I thought it was all sleep deprivation, though I still think that is a big part of it. The info I've gotten is that we need at least one 3-hour stretch of sleep a night to maintain our serotonin levels, and two 3-hour stretches if we are starting with any kind of sleep deficit or depression. Other things that can help our serotonin levels are dark chocolate, vitamin B, fish oil, and I think vitamin D. Sugar and chocolate can help temporarily but also make us crash when they wear off. 

    One of my babies has had an ear infection for two and a half months straight, except for one week where both ears were actually cleared up and he slept like an angel. His twin has had four ear infections during that time too, and my older son has been potty training. I went on Prozac and started taking the babies to part-time daycare. I can't even explain how helpful it has been to get some breaks, all alone to either relax or organize my life at home a little. The holidays have been really hard though, with daycare closed, a houseguest, so much to do and stuff everywhere. I can't wait for 2012! 

    If you haven't already, it's time to find a sustainable normal for your family. You need regular time for yourself just for a break - it is so important! After you get that, you can work on responsibilities with your DH. If you need outside help, find the strength to ask for it - your DH might not be able to provide all the help you need, and getting some sleep or relaxation first might make it easier to have constructive discussions with him. We are not designed to raise our kids alone - there's only so much we can give before we need to refill our own tanks.  Dont feel guilty about that! 

    Also - there is so much judgment sometimes from other moms, or perceived judgment. We label ourselves a lot with what "type" of parent we are - working or SAHM, breastfeeding or not, organic food only, cosleeping, etc. You just have to find what works best for your baby and family. Most of these things really aren't going to matter ten years from now, not as much as whether we simply love our kids and have good intentions.  

    This is all I've figured out for myself so far. :)  Good luck! 


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