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Just curious...

kcgrlkcgrl
in Adoption

When you adopt a child, can you change the child's name? Not just the last name, but the first as well?

I'm only curious.  

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Re: Just curious...

  • Art TeacherArt Teacher

    Yes.  We had a couple of names we liked (for boys and girls because we didn't know what dd's birthmom was having.)  We asked her birthmom for her opinion.  We went with the first name she liked the best (and so did we!) and we used dd's birthmom's middle name as dd's middle name.

     

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  • kcgrlkcgrl

    What if you're not adopting a baby? Say a toddler?

    Someone I know adopted 3 instantly. They obviously changed their last name, and I was curious how the first name went. I'm too chicken to ask them out right.  

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  • Amy720Amy720
    BM put the name she wanted on the original birth certificate and we didn't use it. The name we used was put on all his documents (tax id, health card, etc.). It was officially changed when we finalized and we got an ammended birth certificate with his new name and ours was also added to the new birth certificate listing us as mom and dad.
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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    Yes. Why do you ask?

    ETA: Read your followup. Yes, you can change a child's first name. Sometimes it's kept because that's what the child wants (and they're old enough to make that decision), or the parents have no issue with it. Sometimes it's changed because it's not the parents' style or it's offensive (as in the Adolf Hitler kid in NJ a couple of years ago). Sometimes it's changed to indicate the new start the child will have with their new family.

    Are you close to these people?

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  • MyColonyNJMyColonyNJ

    Yes, you can change a toddler's (or even older) name.  For us, we kept his first name, but gave him a new middle and last name.

    I have a friend that adopted a 10 year old and his whole name was changed.  He had a rough life before being adopted and he really wanted a new start with a full new name.  So, for some it is a actual way to show a break from their past.

    I can tell you 100%, that if Justin had a name that I hated - I would have changed it without any hesitation.  His name is not a name that I would have picked, but it is a fine name.

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  • MyColonyNJMyColonyNJ
    Also, for some children, it is a safety issue for them to keep the same name.  If they have a very unique first name, it could be easy to find them using a web search.  This is the reason why we did not keep his last name as his middle name.
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  • Mrs_LibertoMrs_Liberto member
    My SIL was adopted from foster care at age 12 and changed her name. It was completely her choice-- she wanted a new start/clean break from her old life. There have been some transitions since then (she's nearly 21 now) and uses her birth name and adopted name interchangeably, depending on who she's interacting with.
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  • MandertheDBMandertheDB
    imageMrs_Liberto:
    uses her birth name and adopted name interchangeably, depending on who she's interacting with.
    Wow. That seems confusing. I use my real name at work and my friends call me by my nickname and although they're not that different, I usually end up confusing at least one person by using the "wrong" name. I can't imagine.
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  • kcgrlkcgrl
    imageDr.Loretta:

    Are you close to these people?

     Yes and no. I started to discuss the adoption with him once and he seemed open by it, but in all honesty it was not my business to ask him about their names. He is not easy to talk to, very volatile/emotional etc. If it's a touchy subject he will blow. 

    Dh and I bat around adoption every blue moon when I freak out about child birth and being pregnant.  - - He REALLY likes a name we picked out a long time ago and I didn't want to throw that away for him. I feel selfish in my reasons for not having kids... But that's for Dr. Phil later.

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  • mommytoconnormommytoconnor member
    Yes, you can change first and last name.  I did when I adopted my son. 
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  • Proud adoptive mom 6.11.09Proud adoptive mom 6.11.09
    yes you can  change their name if you so  chose our son was nearly 15 when we adopted him and he asked us if he could change his name and we said yes. he looked at baby names book and he found a name he liked and we went with it.
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  • Annie234567Annie234567 member
    Yep. A foster family I know adopted three of their foster children and changed all their names when the adoption was finalized. The kids' ages ranged from 1 to 7 years old.  The 7-year-old got to choose his own new name, or at least had a say in it.  
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