NAPR: Ok, I am officially cracking...

anna7602

epically, under the weight of everything I have to get done.

I just had an absurd, launch-me-into-hysterical-tears-for-15-minutes fight this morning with DH over the fact that he had to buy milk on his way home from work at 1am.

Should I be able to drink my coffee without milk when I set my alarm for 5:30 am to work before DD wakes? Sure, but I can't. It makes me gag, literally, and when I'm that tired, it doesn't take much to make me nauseated. And I need the coffee to work. I am that addicted and that sleep-deprived.

Should I be able to get milk during the day when I am working at home and picking up DD at school to then take her to ballet to then take her Christmas caroling to then come home to host a play date to then light Hanukkah candles (without the Jewish parent present, of course) to then put her to bed and sit down at my computer again exhausted? I guess, but honestly, for whatever reason I didn't even realize we were out of milk until I sent a message to DH at work at 10pm. Did I mention DD was sleeping and that there was no way I could leave the house to get the milk myself at that point? And that I absolutely needed it to work this morning on little sleep?

So I was just accused of "expecting everyone to do things for me when I'm busy working" and "not respecting H's work load" by asking him to do random errands I should be able to do myself. So the hot tears of frustration just started flying and instead of getting back to my work, now my mind is rattling off a list of all the "random errands" I've done because DH is too busy at work- getting our passport pics taken for the French visa application, packing up all kinds of crap, taking time to show our apartment to a prospective renter, etc. Oh, yeah, and TAKING CARE OF DD! It's not like I'm just holed up in my study working and ignoring the world because of my 12/31 project deadline. (And yes, that's only 8 days away and I am still a long way off.)

Thanks for letting me vent. Since this is my "home" board, I didn't really know where else to go.

3003girl

I almost posted the other day asking what silly fights people have gotten into with their SO's because my DH and I were fighting - really fighting - over the dumbest thing. And now I can't even remember what it was. 

Good luck! You have a lot going on, which adds to the stress and build up of things. 

BlindysWife

Oh Anna, sorry you have all this going on. Did you articulate to him what a busy day you had and that you can't always remember everything, all the time? IMO, I don't think it's too much to ask him to pick up some milk, even if it is at 1 am.

Hope you get your project done and then have some time to unwind and relax after the new year. Virtual hugs!

Harper'smom

8 days, you can do it!! Try to take just a few minutes and breathe. Visualize that moment of completetion of your deadline (and not the other things you have to get done once that is done). 

Jelliebean1982

You had every right to be upset.  He should have just sucked it up and gone to the store without complaint.  Maybe he is just cranky and tired too?

webMistress0609

I totally get it - when I was working, I did a lot more errands/household chores/etc. than what DH does now. We've gotten into similar arguments about chores recently. It's maddening. 

I would def let him know that yes, your stress level is contributing to your ability to cope, but that you also have a ton of sh!t to do & he needs to pitch in.  

anna7602

Jelliebean1982:

You had every right to be upset.  He should have just sucked it up and gone to the store without complaint.  Maybe he is just cranky and tired too?

He definitely is. Today is supposed to be his last day at the office before we move to France and he already told me there's no way in heck he will be able to tie everything up before he leaves tonight (no matter if he stays until 1 or 2 or 3am tonight).

Stressed out person # 1 + Stressed out person #2 + impending move + looming deadlines + child with a non-stop cold + plans to travel for Christmas this weekend + milk running out= total disaster and meltdown by person 1 and person 2

Clearly, if the milk hadn't run out, everything would be ok!

etoyama

I'm so sorry! I would have reacted the same way. Big (((HUGS)))

shaindelr

I'm so sorry. You're both stressed right now, but you'll be living in Paris SOON! :-)

C-Charm

anna7602:

Jelliebean1982:

You had every right to be upset.  He should have just sucked it up and gone to the store without complaint.  Maybe he is just cranky and tired too?

He definitely is. Today is supposed to be his last day at the office before we move to France and he already told me there's no way in heck he will be able to tie everything up before he leaves tonight (no matter if he stays until 1 or 2 or 3am tonight).

Stressed out person # 1 + Stressed out person #2 + impending move + looming deadlines + child with a non-stop cold + plans to travel for Christmas this weekend + milk running out= total disaster and meltdown by person 1 and person 2

Clearly, if the milk hadn't run out, everything would be ok!

Sister, you've managed to find some humor in all your chaos!

**big hugs**

Quazel

Oh that type of fight sucks! I think your equation got it all. I hope you are feeling better and everything is coming together for your big move!!!!