Message Board Etiquette

Herbie85

 This stems from a couple of discussions I've read today... 

Many of us (including myself) are due the beginning of July, so we've been around the board for a while. It's easy to forget that there are moms due at the end of July, so they are going through things 3-4 weeks after us.  Its also easy to forget that NONE of us are experts on here. 

I think it's important to be careful not to turn our board into a place where we bully others to shut up unless they hold the same opinions as the majority.  I think the amazing thing about these boards is the support, encouragement and care we can offer to each other as we navigate through the exciting months of pregnancy.  

So let's share our views, opinions and encouragements with the knowledge that not everyone will make the same choices as us. We can share out knowledge and research on food, NT Scans, car seats and inlaws advice, with the realization that others might disagree. And that's okay... The world won't end!!!!

And if you disagree with this post so be it... That's okay too! 

bsn1752

OK - there has been this type of post every day and to be honest - it's getting annoying.  Saying something like this, only causes more drama.

I will say though - this is the internet, we are adults.  You cannot (and really shouldn't) dictate how and when people respond to others.  As long as no one is breaking TB rules, then you really have no say over their posts.

 

bsn1752

And for a refresher... here's yesterday version of this same post

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61414825.aspx

Herbie85

Ya I agree... The 'let's all get along pists' are annoying.... But I find it hard to tolerate when people are bullying others online.  So I guess I'd rather stand up and say something even if people are annoyed by it.  

bsn1752

Herbie85:

Ya I agree... The 'let's all get along pists' are annoying.... But I find it hard to tolerate when people are bullying others online.  So I guess I'd rather stand up and say something even if people are annoyed by it.  

If they're annoying, why do it?

I guess I have failed to see anyone get bullied at all on this board.  We are actually a very, VERY tame bunch.

J.Johnson-Smith

I do think there have been some strong opinions. But I would suggest just ignoring what bothers you.  Some people love an argument (I have been guilty of this as well).  Even this post now is becoming unnecessary drama.  I would say if there are people in particular that bother you then look into blocking them, I think you can do that anyway? Otherwise just take it all with a grain of salt.  I have yet to see an expert on here.  Everyone has opinions and you know what they say about opinions

dalandrea

While I'm generally the type to stay out of drama that I think is ridiculous... these posts are getting a little annoying. As PP has said, there has been one of these every day this week. No one has been overtly rude or troublesome to anyone on this board, and those that think they have seen some rudeness need only head on over the TTGP where there have been some really rude posts and typically on a daily basis from certain members of that board (one in which I was a member of, but avoided said posts because I felt it wasn't worth it to get involved). From what I have seen, the ladies on this board have asked and answered many questions with complete sincerity and have held in any nasty remarks for the most part. If someone truly has a problem with the way things are being said, they need not be a member here. No one is forcing you to be here, and you cannot dictate how someone else acts. Just deal with it, for the sake of all of us who already do. 

maykious

bsn1752:

Herbie85:

Ya I agree... The 'let's all get along pists' are annoying.... But I find it hard to tolerate when people are bullying others online.  So I guess I'd rather stand up and say something even if people are annoyed by it.  

If they're annoying, why do it?

I guess I have failed to see anyone get bullied at all on this board.  We are actually a very, VERY tame bunch.

I totally agree. Strong opinions, yes. Frustration when opinions are sought and then ignored, yes. Frustration at very repetitive posts by those who don't bother to lurk or even read a few other posts for a bit before asking a question, yes. But bullying, absolutely not. 

marybridges

I think it's amazing how all of the people protesting your post are the biggest bullies on these boards... figures.

 

Grow up, people. You're parents now!

dalandrea

marybridges:

I think it's amazing how all of the people protesting your post are the biggest bullies on these boards... figures.

 

Grow up, people. You're parents now!

Excuse me??? Please name the post(s) in which I have bullied someone. But now I'm glad to know you think I am one... I might just have to oblige you in future posts of your own.  

lynsimarie

Herbie85

Like I said originally... I don't like seeing others being bullied. I have never been bullied on here, but think its ridiculous that people say such absurd things and no one speaks up and disagrees with them.

 Go check out the 'I'll be so happy when all the NT scans are done' post from earlier today and you'll see what I CALL bullying.  

Anyways... Like I said originally its fine for anyone to disagree with me.    

SallySunrise

dalandrea:

marybridges:

I think it's amazing how all of the people protesting your post are the biggest bullies on these boards... figures.

 

Grow up, people. You're parents now!

Excuse me??? Please name the post(s) in which I have bullied someone. But now I'm glad to know you think I am one... I might just have to oblige you in future posts of your own.  

LOL!  I was wondering the same thing... I don't think I've ever seen you "bully" anyone!  As a matter of fact, I really don't think anyone on this board does much bullying.  There are some strong opinions, yes, but for the vast majority I think everyone has been able to share those opinions respectful, mature ways.  There's definitely bullying going on on other boards here on TB, but I think July '12 is really tame!

Disagreeing =/= Bullying! 

kaesha

SallySunrise:

dalandrea:

marybridges:

I think it's amazing how all of the people protesting your post are the biggest bullies on these boards... figures.

 

Grow up, people. You're parents now!

Excuse me??? Please name the post(s) in which I have bullied someone. But now I'm glad to know you think I am one... I might just have to oblige you in future posts of your own.  

LOL!  I was wondering the same thing... I don't think I've ever seen you "bully" anyone!  As a matter of fact, I really don't think anyone on this board does much bullying.  There are some strong opinions, yes, but for the vast majority I think everyone has been able to share those opinions respectful, mature ways.  There's definitely bullying going on on other boards here on TB, but I think July '12 is really tame!

Disagreeing =/= Bullying! 

Yeah, I'm going to be honest and say I was wondering the same thing too. That thread that was pointed to doesn't read like bullying at all to me at all. Some people agreed, others raised points on the other side - that's not bullying; that's healthy discussion.

There are going to be people you disagree with, or don't like here (though, I third/fourth/whatever the comment about this board compared to other Bump boards - this one is mellow in comparison). If someone gets under your skin, use the block function; that's what it's there for.

MrsOjoButtons

Fortunately for us "bullies" who haven't used vulgar, harassing, or obscene language, the terms of service don't say anything about rainbows and puppies.

Online behavior requires common sense and basic etiquette. Accordingly, here are some rules that you agree to follow:

• No strong, vulgar, obscene, or otherwise harmful language.
• No racially, ethnically or otherwise, objectionable language.
• No harassing, intimidating, stalking, or threatening other community members.
• No libelous, defamatory, or otherwise tortiuous language.
• No online vandalism. This includes using abusive language and repeatedly hitting the return key in the chat room, or otherwise acting in a manner that negatively impacts the ability to engage in real time exchanges.
• No impersonating any person, including, but not limited to, other community members or employees of The Knot.
• No posting, distributing, transmitting, or promoting illegal content.
• No invasion of another's privacy.
• No actions that are harmful to minors.
• No manipulation or forging of identifiers in order to disguise the origin of any information posted on The Knot site or otherwise provided to The Knot or its employees.
• No posting, providing, transmitting, or otherwise making available any information (such as inside, proprietary or confidential information) that you do not have a right to make available due to contract, fiduciary duty, or operation of law.
• No posting, providing, transmitting, or otherwise making available any junk mail or spam.
• No posting, uploading, emailing, or otherwise transmitting any material that contains any malicious computer code (including spyware, worms, Trojan horses, viruses, etc.).
• No posting, providing, transmitting, or otherwise making available any information which violates regulations promulgated by the Securities and Exchange Commission, or that of any securities exchange, such as the New York Stock ExchangeNASDAQ Stock Market.
• No collecting, storing, or posting of personal data about or of other community members.
• No soliciting of any kind on the message boards or in the chat room.

 

So far, the most hot button topics that I've noticed are over discarding dogs and not vaccinating, both of which impact living beings and in some cases, the rest of society, so I don't see it as a bad thing to disagree and offer sound advice. 

nursemama2be

Herbie85:

 This stems from a couple of discussions I've read today... 

Many of us (including myself) are due the beginning of July, so we've been around the board for a while. It's easy to forget that there are moms due at the end of July, so they are going through things 3-4 weeks after us.  Its also easy to forget that NONE of us are experts on here. 

I think it's important to be careful not to turn our board into a place where we bully others to shut up unless they hold the same opinions as the majority.  I think the amazing thing about these boards is the support, encouragement and care we can offer to each other as we navigate through the exciting months of pregnancy.  

So let's share our views, opinions and encouragements with the knowledge that not everyone will make the same choices as us. We can share out knowledge and research on food, NT Scans, car seats and inlaws advice, with the realization that others might disagree. And that's okay... The world won't end!!!!

And if you disagree with this post so be it... That's okay too! 

 

 

OUKatie

kaesha:

SallySunrise:

dalandrea:

marybridges:

I think it's amazing how all of the people protesting your post are the biggest bullies on these boards... figures.

 

Grow up, people. You're parents now!

Excuse me??? Please name the post(s) in which I have bullied someone. But now I'm glad to know you think I am one... I might just have to oblige you in future posts of your own.  

LOL!  I was wondering the same thing... I don't think I've ever seen you "bully" anyone!  As a matter of fact, I really don't think anyone on this board does much bullying.  There are some strong opinions, yes, but for the vast majority I think everyone has been able to share those opinions respectful, mature ways.  There's definitely bullying going on on other boards here on TB, but I think July '12 is really tame!

Disagreeing =/= Bullying! 

Yeah, I'm going to be honest and say I was wondering the same thing too. That thread that was pointed to doesn't read like bullying at all to me at all. Some people agreed, others raised points on the other side - that's not bullying; that's healthy discussion.

There are going to be people you disagree with, or don't like here (though, I third/fourth/whatever the comment about this board compared to other Bump boards - this one is mellow in comparison). If someone gets under your skin, use the block function; that's what it's there for.

This.

I'm going to be honest here: I much prefer a board where people are honest rather than blowing rainbows up each others rears (sorry for the lovely imagery).

"OMG, it's so hard to take of my dog and pregnant self, I think I'll just ditch him in the country." "Great idea! Dogs love wide open spaces!" Please. Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is point out when people are being ridiculous or selfish. Sometimes, we have a moral obligation to do so. And, sometimes, some people just suck, including pregnant ones.

Oh, and to whomever said we should grow up because we're parents? I say, put on your big girl panties and deal with it. It's the internet. If you want to play, you have to have a tougher skin. You can't let things from the internet bother you. If someone really gets to you, there is block button below each of their posts.

missusbee

Herbie85:

Like I said originally... I don't like seeing others being bullied. I have never been bullied on here, but think its ridiculous that people say such absurd things and no one speaks up and disagrees with them.

 Go check out the 'I'll be so happy when all the NT scans are done' post from earlier today and you'll see what I CALL bullying.  

Anyways... Like I said originally its fine for anyone to disagree with me.    

Hey Herbie, how about you grow a pair and just call me out? Its a little dramatic to start a post accusing all of these other lovely women of bullying when you really just meant me.

As for the NT Scan post, if you actually read it, I was complaining of some frustration that despite many really wonderful, rich dialogues about the benefits and disadvantages of NT Scans, misinformation still abounds.That was frustrating to me, and apparently lots of others too.

Not exactly bullying.  If you read more than post titles, you might get that. n the future, if you have a specific problem with anything I say, tell me. None of this passive aggressive nonsense.

We good?

jlthompson19

Well, I am an expert on all things, so....

ali&jonbaby

There will be drama/bitchiness on every board, just ignore it and dont become one of the bitches.  Also, I dont think it's EVER okay to bully someone, even if you have the majority of the boards support.

bsn1752

"Bully" - buzz word of the day apparently.

 And yet, I still have failed to see anyone give substantial proof of bullying.

 

MrsOjoButtons

bsn1752:

"Bully" - buzz word of the day apparently.

 And yet, I still have failed to see anyone give substantial proof of bullying.

Hey now, apparently asking people to cite their sources is bullying.

I think we've only had two people GBCBMB, but those people were wound so tightly it was obvious the internet just isn't for them.

bsn1752

MrsOjoButtons:

bsn1752:

"Bully" - buzz word of the day apparently.

 And yet, I still have failed to see anyone give substantial proof of bullying.

Hey now, apparently asking people to cite their sources is bullying.

I think we've only had two people GBCBMB, but those people were wound so tightly it was obvious the internet just isn't for them.

Yep, I can't even process that line of thinking.

And so true about the GBCBMB ladies... maybe I've just lost all patience this pregnancy.