Makes me sick

AAAAAteam

What is this world coming to?  My 5 year old just told me a girl in the older class dared him at recess to get DRUNK!  This is the same girl who he told me last week she dared him to like the metal pole. She comes from a rough family I know.  

THis is my 1st child in school and I am not sure how to handle it.  Please help!  What is an appropriate response?   Or am  I over reacting?  

DandelionMom

No idea if you're overreacting, you haven't mentioned how you reacted. 

Tell your kid that this girl sounds rude and suggest he avoid rude people. 

AAAAAteam

I guess I haven't really reacted yet. Just sick to my stomach.  Can't believe we are dealing with this at 5!  ugh.  I didn't know if this is typical stuff kids are dealing with at this age or what.  I am a SAHM so haven't really had to deal with too much yet. 

I did tell him how to handle it.  Told him to avoid her and not hang around her and if she won't leave him alone just tell her he doesn't want to be around her because she tells him to do naughty things....he is on board with this.  

 I asked him what Drunk was too and he didn't know.  

DandRAgain

My question is HOW was the dare-er proposing that your DS get drunk?  Did the kid have booze at school?  Or was he just talking about it at school? 

Kids say STUPID stuff....and thats pretty riduculous of the kid...but without any means of getting drunk, then I would just explain to your child what alcohol is and why its an adult beverage and explain that there are probably better friends who don't dare him to do stupid stuff to play with.

DandelionMom

I know the feeling.  There will always be those kids.  And as they get older the crap they come up with gets worse.  Your son came to you with this, you helped him through it.  This is a good pattern, he'll be okay. 

AAAAAteam

I think that is what I needed to hear.  THat I handled it ok.  I told DS how proud I am of him for telling me about it and to always feel comfortable to tell me anything.  Do you think I should address this with the school or her parent?

 

CleoKitty

A couple days ago my almost 4 y/o dd was staggering around the house, walking funny and pretending to fall down. When I asked what she was doing she laughed really loud and said, "I'm drunk, Mommy! I drink too much beer!"

 To the best of my knowledge, dd has never even seen a drunk person in real life. I myself hardly ever drink at all, just not my thing. We don't have a rough home life and we're decent, respectable people.  Maybe some of those old-school Looney Toons and Tom & Jerry episodes have corrupted her. ;-)

 

Chapter79

AAAAATeam:

I think that is what I needed to hear.  THat I handled it ok.  I told DS how proud I am of him for telling me about it and to always feel comfortable to tell me anything.  Do you think I should address this with the school or her parent?

Personally, I would never go to parents. I'm just not comfortable with that. I always prefer to do it via the school so THEY are aware.. since it happened on school grounds. If THEY feel the need, they will then contact the parents and handle it.

Does your 5 year old have recess with all the older kids?
Mine is 5, too.. but she only has recess with all the other 5 year olds. There are 3 Kindergarten classes and they all have a 20 minute lunch, and then go outside together. When THEY are outside, the older kids have lunch.. and when the young kids come inside, the older go out.  Such a big age span to mix 5 year olds and kids in the older grades and have them all play together.

I wouldn't like if a kid said that to my child, but I think I would chalk it up to "dumb crap kids say".  Tell your child to avoid them if possible.. and IF it happens again, I would then probably contact someone juuuust so they're aware.

DandelionMom

AAAAATeam:

I think that is what I needed to hear.  THat I handled it ok.  I told DS how proud I am of him for telling me about it and to always feel comfortable to tell me anything.  Do you think I should address this with the school or her parent?

 

Likely the school can't do much and the parents won't do much.  If your son is very bothered by her, I think it is worth mentioning to his teacher -- just don't have high expectations that much will happen. 

AAAAAteam

Probably a good call. He is in K Prep and they have recess with the Kindergarteners.  So not a huge age gap or anything.  It is a small school too.  I will tell his teacher because he seems to have a lot of stories about this girl and I think he will stay away from her after our talk. 

I do happen to know this girls dad and I would say he is a drunk.  This is a really messed up family.....I know too much.  She knows way too much beyond her years.  

lsufan

Alright, I'll say it.  You're overreacting.  Kids say dumb stuff just to see what reaction they'll get from other kids.  You don't need to report all of it to the teacher or other parents.  If the girl launched into an in-depth conversation about how her daddy gets drunk and how awesome that is and what type of alcohol she recommended, then I might contact the teacher.

AAAAAteam

I guess I don't think I am overreacting after talking to the teacher.  She was very happy we told her and was going to talk to this girls teacher and alert the recess duty to what was going on.  She thought it was not appropriate. 

AAAAAteam

I guess it is possible....would have to ask this little girl what she thinks it means.....but that is funny, and I wish that is what she meant.

But knowing her family she has seen drunk before. 

DandRAgain

fredalina:

When I was five I thought "getting drunk" meant spinning around and around so much I got dizzy. That's what some grown ups would call it. Any chance it's a misunderstanding?

hahaha!  TOTALLY funny because I thought the EXACT same thing!!!  And my mom never drank when we were little.  My dad, I can assume, would have a drink after golfing???  But I never saw him drunk either.

 

shopgirl78

Lick the metal pole? Think she watched a Christmas story? Not sure about drunk, my 6 yr old didn't know what it meant. I would tell my child to stay away also.

AAAAAteam

Yes lick the metal pole. Typo..oops!  : )  That was the first thing last week and yes I chalked it up to watching the Christmas story, ok, kinda funny.  Still told him she wasn't a good friend for asking him to do something not good for him and to just stay away from her already.  Told him to never do anything someone dares him to do!  GOod rule of thumb! : )  She also tells him she can take him down and beat him up because she is older.  I let that one go too.  BUt now that the stories keep coming and getting worse, I am getting sick of it!  ANd concerned for his innocence.

BubblyToes

DandRAgain:

fredalina:

When I was five I thought "getting drunk" meant spinning around and around so much I got dizzy. That's what some grown ups would call it. Any chance it's a misunderstanding?

hahaha!  TOTALLY funny because I thought the EXACT same thing!!!  And my mom never drank when we were little.  My dad, I can assume, would have a drink after golfing???  But I never saw him drunk either.

 

This exactly.

I highly doubt the kid even knew what "drunk" meant.

Your post title and subsequent follow ups scream overreaction to me. 

BubblyToes

AAAAATeam:

ANd concerned for his innocence.

Sweet Jeebus. 

Lisa102304

BubblyToes:

AAAAATeam:

ANd concerned for his innocence.

Sweet Jeebus. 

The children!  Who is thinking of the children?!?

AAAAAteam

Who is thinking of the children?  What do you mean, Lisa?  My DS or this little girl, or what? 

 

Of course, Bubbly, I am concerned for a 5 year old childs innocence.  I don't want him to know about issues he doesn't need to know about yet if he doesn't have to.  He happens to come from a good home, and I know he will be exposed to all sorts of people and issues, but 5 seems so young to have to deal with stuff.  You could work on your tact in your delivery.....but I don't think you are concerned about that.  

Lisa102304

Sarcasm. Meant to be read in pearl-clutching hysteria.