When should a kid wake in the night to use the bathroom?

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DS1 is 4 and is driving me crazy with PTing, it's been a long hard road and we're still not totally there.  He won't ever get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, should he be at this age or no?  I think he doesn't wake up until he pees.  It's very frustrating right now because he wet the bed a few days ago, I washed his waterproof mattress pad and put a nice thick chuck pad down under his sheet and he wet the bed again last night and JUST missed the pad so now I get to shampoo his mattress unless I want it to smell like pee forever.

smitt2619

My oldest, now 4y9m, rarely peed during the night from a young age.  We started potty training just after he turned 3, and rarely had problems during the night, it was the daytime that was the challenge.  Either he didn't wake up or if he did, held it just fine.  I don't know your story with the potty training process, but I think most kids have the hardest time with the nighttime (unlike us, it was the opposite!) and I think many wore pull-ups for a long time.  Not sure it's it's an option to continue him in pull-ups during the night? 

smilejenn

I think it's a very common issue. Our pediatrician said that kids can be well over the age of 5 before they are either capable of holding their bladder all night, or wake up in time to use the bathroom. It all depends on the kid. If you don't think your child is physically able to hold it all night or wake up to use the bathroom, why not use nighttime underwear so you don't have to wash the mattress each time he has an accident? Also, have you tried cutting out liquids earlier in the evening so that his bladder has time to empty prior to going to bed?

Pesky

Honestly, depends on the kid.  Some kids' bodies will not wake them to pee until about 6 or 7 (DH's friend's youngest DD was this way).  Some are earlier.  Don't sweat it.  He won't pee the bed at night for the rest of his life.  Just sounds like physiologically he is not there and there's nothing you can do to rush it.  Just limit his fluid intake before bed.  In addition, you can wake him up and have him go potty when you are going to bed to try to empty his bladder a little more.

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He still wears pull ups most nights (he was last night and peed through them).  I thought about trying the "Overnights" or whatever they're called.  A few nights ago when he wet the bed we had him in regular underwear.  I'm thinking that he doesn't wake up until he's wet.  He no longer gets water at night but can have drinks before bed, maybe we'll have to cut them out at a specific time. 

I feel semi-bad but we have to discipline him when he wets the bed and make him sleep in his sleeping bag on the floor otherwise he'll do it on purpose thinking that he can come sleep in our bed (when we disucussed with him 1 night that if he wet the bed he could come in our bed, literally 5 minutes after walking out of his room he yelled and said that his bed was wet - luckily it was just his pull ups).

Thanks, I just didn't know if he was behind in night potty training since he's so late with other aspects.  Sometimes I wish kids were like robots and you could just put in a potty training chip (or a STTN chip) and they know exactly how to do it.  Of course the "I love you mommy"s make up for it .

rsd12

Aussie*s_Mom:

He still wears pull ups most nights (he was last night and peed through them).  I thought about trying the "Overnights" or whatever they're called.  A few nights ago when he wet the bed we had him in regular underwear.  I'm thinking that he doesn't wake up until he's wet.  He no longer gets water at night but can have drinks before bed, maybe we'll have to cut them out at a specific time. 

I feel semi-bad but we have to discipline him when he wets the bed and make him sleep in his sleeping bag on the floor otherwise he'll do it on purpose thinking that he can come sleep in our bed (when we disucussed with him 1 night that if he wet the bed he could come in our bed, literally 5 minutes after walking out of his room he yelled and said that his bed was wet - luckily it was just his pull ups).

Thanks, I just didn't know if he was behind in night potty training since he's so late with other aspects.  Sometimes I wish kids were like robots and you could just put in a potty training chip (or a STTN chip) and they know exactly how to do it.  Of course the "I love you mommy"s make up for it .

We have a two week rule ; ) Must stay dry for two weeks (in the beginning) to try to sleep in undies.  My middle son has only made it 1 day so far.  He is not ready for overnight.  Even though he does get sad/happy about being wet/dry in the morning.  My oldest transitioned at 4, but it was a lot of night wakings/laundry/mess the first couple of months. 

Sorry, but I don't think you should punish your 4 yr old for wetting the bed. I would have clean sheets/pad ready to go for these incidents.  Some kids really do not have control over this. 

septemberdreams

My DS is 4.5 and wears diapers at night.  My pediatrician said it's perfectly normal and he wouldn't consider it a problem until age 6.

smilejenn

I like the two week rule that the poster above suggested.

I also agree that punishment really shouldn't be involved when it comes to bed wetting. You wouldn't want your child to feel guilty or embarrassed. I would keep an extra set of bedding nearby for nights that he has accidents, and then try to set up a reward system for the mornings that he wakes up dry. 

Pesky

smilejenn:

I like the two week rule that the poster above suggested.

I also agree that punishment really shouldn't be involved when it comes to bed wetting. You wouldn't want your child to feel guilty or embarrassed. I would keep an extra set of bedding nearby for nights that he has accidents, and then try to set up a reward system for the mornings that he wakes up dry. 

Ditto this.  This is not necessarily something he can control but simple growth of his body and wiring required that he cannot control.  That's like punishing him for blinking or breathing.  DD has the occasional accident and we've talked about what not to do.  I would switch to overnights, absolutely -- regular ones do not hold much at all.  There are also some other liners and such that can hold more liquid.  it's fine to say he needs ot sleep on the sleeping bag until you can deal with the bed or if not a lot, I've put a folded towel over the offending spot and sent her back to bed.  Also, invest in a plastic cover for the mattress, which covers the whole things and zips up (was around $14 or so at BB&B).  That has saved us a lot!  Sleeping in your bed would not be an option and shouldn't be but I wouldn't characterize that as punishment -- more as you have your bed, I have mine and yours is wet so you sleep here.

DragonflyBelle

9 times of 10, Juliana wakes in the night to go, but we still do the night-time pull up just in case. She turned 4 in November.

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It's not so much for the point of punishment, it's that otherwise he gets rewarded and will intentionally wet the bed.  I don't want to encourage bed wetting.  It's not as if we make him sleep in a wet bed, he has to sleep in his new sleeping bag on the floor.  If he didn't intentionally wet the bed to get into our bed it'd be a completely different story, but I know it's intentional because as I stated before, he yelled that he wet the bed 5 minutes after we walked out when we told him that if he wet the bed we'd just bring him to bed with us.  We don't have a 2nd mattress pad, I'll be picking another one up soon so that I can just change his sheets in the night (so he can get changed and go back to sleep in his bed) but when we originally bought all of the bedding it was a big purchase and I didn't want to make it eeven bigger by buying doubles and we just never have "gotten around to it" to buy another cover.  He's never in trouble, we don't scold him or yell at him when he wets the bed, we don't make him feel embarased, we just change his clothes and lay down his sleeping bag (he has a loft bed and actually wiggled under it last night so he could sleep in his "fort".

I'm sorry if I made it sound like we "punish" him for wetting the bed, it's more that we just don't want to encourage it (by allowing him to come to our bed, we're just getting over a battle of getting him to sleep in his room), and we only have 1 matterss pad cover (for now, like I said we'll get another next time we get to the store since I dont' want to have to shampoo his bed again).

omurray

My DS is 5 yrs 2 months and he is nowhere near staying dry at night.  He potty trained for daytime at 2 yrs 5 months, but he has never woken up dry and he never wakes up to tell us he has to pee.  At his 5 yr checkup the doctor says there is absolutely nothing wrong, but we just have to wait for his body to mature enough to be able to do it.  Pedi said they wouldn't even discuss doing anything about it until age 7.  He wears Goodnights to bed and they work really well - way more absorbant than a pull up.  When he does start waking dry, we will definitely make sure there is a good stretch of dry nights in a row before moving to undies.   

jerol

DD1 will be 6 in March and still doesn't stay dry at night.  DD2 is 4.5 and has been dry over night since she was 3.  Depends on the kid.

CandKmomma

DS either wakes up dry or wakes up in the middle of the night to pee.  He's been waking up dry for months....I am so scared to let him sleep in underwear just incase.  I joke that I'm keeping him in pullups at night til he is 12.  LOL! 

ilovemygirls

First of all, my pedi told me they don't start to take steps w/kids re: night wetting until they are around 10 years old.  Not to say there aren't social issues surrounding that, but it is a very common physical issue.  A friend of mine is a school nurse who does camps in the summer & she said I would be shocked at the number of kids who are 4th, 5th, 6th grade & still night wetting.  A lot of them had medication just for camp that they got from their doctors & she had to dispense it.

So the long & short of it is- your child is only FOUR.  Get a couple of plastic sheets to swap out, a waterproof cover & double sheet the bed & call it good.  Yes it's irritating, but again, he's FOUR.  My 4.5 yo is in a pull up every night & I am slowly seeing some changes just recently where she seems to go a little longer- or if I "dream pee" her, she'll be dry in the morning.  It will happen- just don't punish him or make it so that he feels guilty about it.  Because I guarantee you it will take longer if you turn it into that.  

AlabamaMamma224

My DD is 6 (in 1st grade) and still has fairly frequent nighttime accidents.  I used to put her in pull ups but then thought she was just being 'lazy' and using them because she didn't want to get up to pee... Turns out I was totally wrong.  She is tiny and a very very heavy sleeper and sleeps right through it.  I don't even discuss it with her, when she gets up and realizes she's wet, she strips her bed and tosses everything into the washer. 

 I just recently asked her if she wanted to try Goodnights underwear, and she's still thinking about it. 

What's hard is her 3 yr old brother just started staying dry through the night!  I'm having a hard time finding a balance between praising him and not making her feel embarrassed. 

p.s.  zip up plastic mattress covers have saved my sanity... just needs a wipe down before the sheets go back on the bed.

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AlabamaMamma224:

p.s.  zip up plastic mattress covers have saved my sanity... just needs a wipe down before the sheets go back on the bed.

We just bought one of these last night.  I was going to buy another mattress pad cover but this was cheaper, and now that will be 1 less thing that needs to be changed after accidents. 

*dang it, I just remembered that I forgot to get the night time pull ups.