How did you decide to leave?

CowboysWife04

If there was no obvious abuse or drugs etc, how did you finally decide it was best to leave? H and I almost got divorced back in April but reconciled in June. His involvement with the kids is much better now. However the issues with our relationship are just as bad as before. Its a really long story and I'll share more if you have questions...just don't want to ramble. I'm but sure how know if I should leave again and for good. The girls think he walks on water and get excited every time they see him so I feel guilty even thinking about them not getting to see him every day just because we can't get along.

fairyfey10

We grew apart, I left when things started to become physical, but prior to that I should have left when we started to be incompatible.  There were many warning signs that wee  had grown in different directions.  

LoveyFNR

Even before my STBXH severely abused me I was already beginning to grow apart from him and had thought about leaving him for months.

I was just unhappy in general with him. He was never around, never did anything with our son like bathtime or stories, he was an absolute slob and refused to clean up after himself, his very dimeanor was just unpleasant to be around. Instead of falling out of love with him I simply began to hate him. I was just always disgusted and I felt bad for feeling that way.

As soon as he began to beat me I knew it was time to leave. As soon as he wound up in jail for domestic abuse I contacted a lawyer and began my divorce. But I knew it was over far before then. I was miserable.

kmlkjh

It's more like the issues just added up and were never resolved so they just kept getting bigger (financial and employment differences, lifestyle differences and I just plain got tired of being a door mat) and they finally reached a point with the birth of LO when I finally sat up and said to myself "LO and I deserve better even if that better is provided by just me", to which he responded "If I had known LO would make you break up with me I wold have pushed for an abortion or adoption". Things that happened during our hospital stay/birth and shortly after also put the final nail in his coffin. While he was there during LO's first few months, he would let her scream on the floor while he got his video games to saving points, never mind that she was hungry, or dirty or had spit up on herself. Didn't care about that first bath at home or that LO was having trouble with reflux, allergies and weight gain. Basically didn't want to be a father.

LO and I left him at 4 months old after 5 years together and voila, my PPD and anxiety cleared up and went med free within 2 months. That was enough to convince me to never give him a chance to reconcile, and he has tried many times. If I need to be on drugs to be with him then I don't need to be with him. To leave him, I quite literally told him that his stuff would be on the street corner if he didn't get it out by X date and I was moving the week after that. I did not shed any tears once I told him that. Best decision of my life and I never looked back.