Feel like I am giving up

cosmama

Hi Everyone - I would appreciate any input you guys have.  My daughter was born a week ago today and after a tough c-section it we supplemented breast feeding for the first few hours because I was just totally wiped out. The first few days we always tried the breast first but it was a battle every time. We would try for about 20-30 minutes at the breast and then gave her a bottle because my milk hadn't come in. I met with the lactation consultant at the hospital twice during our five day stay and after a while she pretty much said we had tried everything she knew.   We tried the SNS system but it didn't help with the latch issue ... just kept her attention for a little longer since she was getting something that way.

Well, six days later my milk almost came in but pretty much only on one side. I never experienced engorgement or the other symptoms I was told to expect.  I have been pumping though I realize now it was not as regular as it needed to be.  I learned how often that needed to be done a little too late.  Until today I was always putting her to breast first but it became such a struggle. I felt like I was being so cruel because she would just cry and cry and it would end with both of us in tears.  So, pretty much she has only gotten formula with just minimal breast milk.  At her one-week appointment today, the doctor pretty much suggested I bottle feed since she is doing great weight-wise (gained back nearly everything she has lost).

I, being over tired and stressed, am having trouble letting go of this because I feel like this was something I needed to do for her.  I wasn't even totally convinced I wanted to breastfeed before but now that it is not working I am really upset. Anyone else been through the same thing?  Thanks ladies!

Megan.10.06

Well, it's never too late.  If you want to produce more, you can pump more often and build your supply back up.  If you are wanting to do it, it will take about a week of dedication.  Also, you'll want to try a nipple shield.  That should help with the latch - you can also try pumping before you BF to draw your nip out to be more like a bottle.  I would also look for another LC. 

I could have written this story with my first son.  I gave up after 3 weeks, and I cried and cried.... And I wasn't even sure I wanted to before he was born.  I have a healthy 2 year old who obviously didn't suffer one bit from being formula fed.  My 7 month old now hasn't had formula in months, and I can't tell the difference between them as babies.  

Formula isn't poison momma   I love to BF my son, but with my first, quitting made me a better mom.  I wasn't crying over a pump, trying to keep him happy, or feed him while I pumped.  And I could sleep, instead of waking up with him and then pumping, cleaning...  The most important thing is that your baby is fed. 

lanbob

Completely agree w/ pp. Find a new LC. I had issues with DS it took a month to get it right. You have to think about what is best for you too take your time to think about it. Let daddy take over for a bit so you can rest too.GL

MrsMAF

Aww, hang in there. It's so hard! Like p/p said, you could pump for a week and build your supply, but you'd really have to work at it and be dedicated. If you decide to do formula, your baby will be just fine!!! You need to do what makes both YOU and baby happiest

happy momma=happy baby!

 

luis&collette

Congrats on your LO! My advice it to watch breastfeeding videos on YouTube.It helped me greatly with learning how to position baby and shows you how to proper latch baby on.Also the first week or two your breast will be sore, it takes a little while for mom and baby to get on the same page. Also try gel pads you can get them from Target or Walmart for about $9.99 or so they will be in the same area as breast pumps and they should help alot with the soreness. Hang in there :-) it was times I wanted to stop bc of the pain but so happy I stayed with it...My LO is now 2 months.Also you can  always do combine of formula and bfing. Also ever woman is difference it took about 6 days for my milk to come in.

twinmom2012

staciandnick:

 I, being over tired and stressed, am having trouble letting go of this because I feel like this was something I needed to do for her.

This was exactly me, the same story as yours and the 2nd post. I felt terrible and it took over my life, all I wanted to do is breastfeed him! I think this is what pushed me over the edge into having postartum depression. I was exhausted of trying to BF, pump & bottle feed, cleaning all the bottles, etc, waking up at night trying to pump. It just wasn't working. He would scream & cry. I even tried to use those little tubes you tape to your boob and have formula come out of it, to get him to latch on again. Once he had the bottle in the hospital, that was it.. and I didn't know any better. I would see other people out & about BFing and it would just make me cry.

Anyhow, I'm having twins this time around and really nervous about it. I hope everything will work out for you in the end. But like pp said, as long as your baby is being fed, is all that matters. and if you're not happy, it's not good for your baby either.

Good Luck, I hope everything works out for you. 

Britnseth2006

I went through this EXACT same thing!!! I had the lactation consultants tell me i should never have given LO a bottle to supplement with (he became jaundice til my milk came in), doc told us to, and to NEVER have given him a pacifier!! Every time LO went to feed it would end up with both of in tears.  I had the consultants come 3 times in the five days i was there and then went to them three more times to try and help. LO is now 3 so looking back he just wasn't hungry every two hours like they say you have to feed.

My advice, sit back, relax, maybe even have a beer LOL. With all the stress of 'You have to do this for LO or else' just puts that much more pressure on you to do it. Dont beat yourself up over it, if it doesnt work it's not like LO is going to starve. Just hang in there, its always hard at first but you'll get the hang of it!!

GL

pepomntpat

I am so sorry you were given such crappy information in the hospital and set up for this struggle. There was no reason to ever offer formula in the hospital. Your milk is not supposed to 'come in' for several days. Your LO gets colostrum until that point. The nurses should have known that and supported your breastfeeding efforts. I really am sorry they did this to you. Your LC is useless also. Please find a new LC and see if you can find a LLL meeting to attend. In the mean time I'd suggest doing lots of skin to skin time with your LO. Lots and lots and lots. And just keep offering the breast. Don't wait until LO is hungry. Just offer to nurse all the friggin' time. You can also pump to help with your supply, but I'd strongly suggest lots of nursing and lots of time in bed doing skin to skin with your baby above the pumping. Good luck to you!

cottonlily84

It doesn't sound like your medical community is giving you much breastfeeding support.  Even the well meaning ones can entice you to quit.  My ob/gyn always seems concerned about mastitis, my ped makes is clear DD's growth is more important than anything.  They want what's best for me and baby but aren't as dedicated to Bfing as I am.  6 days is late for milk to come in but that usually happens by 5 days for c/s mamas so that to be expected.  Your LC should have been more accustomed to this.  For a few days baby can survive on what's in their system and colostrum.  To combat nipple confusion you can syringe or cup feed (we did syringe in NICU). 

Try anything and do what works.  This is no one size fits all situation.  All I heard was how great and easy and convenient BFing was and for me it's been anything but.  People said pumping will ruin your supply, baby won't bond with you if you don't BF, etc etc.  I was tired, frustrated, in pain and worried while I was nursing my baby who wasn't latching without the shield, draining the breast with the shield or gaining weight.  When I went back to work I had to pump during the day.  LO gained 11.5 oz in 10 days.  Pumping doesn't hurt.  I can tell my output is as high or higher than when I switched from pumping.  I love that baby just as much with a bottle in her mouth as I would with the breast.

You have to take care of yourself too.  For the first 3-4 weeks I had the baby blues bad.  I just wanted to mope around, didn't care about eating, couldn't sleep.  After I got past that things starting getting better.  But honestly, it's a never ending, always evolving situation for us.  She's gaining really well with the bottles now but I still want to nurse her.  I hope when she's stronger she can do better and without the shield.  But for now I'm a better mama.  I'm less worried about her nutrition, I sleep better, I eat well.  How you take care of yourself will affect how you take care of the LO.