Hearing aid Mommies

sas05

My LO is 3 YO and just got hearing aids a few weeks ago.  I know that hearing aids are a "visible" sign that he is just a little different than other kids, and at this age, they all like his "super ears" and want to know when they will get theirs...but what can I do now to help make sure that my little guy is confident for when those opinions might change...?  All the doctors say to not try and hide the hearing aids (he has blue aids with stickers all over them), etc., but I am just wondering if you have any advice?  I wish I could protect him from everything, but I obviously know that is not realistic.  He is a very shy kid to begin with (not sure if that's just who he is, or possibly due to him having undetected hearing loss), but I just want him to feel good about himself no matter what.  We are completely open with talking about it, but know that not everyone else is as open.  My husband and I the other day had a small discussion about having our professional pictures taken with them on or off (we chose on, even though he would have been fine with them off as he has a slight-mild loss).  They don't define him, but they help him and that's that...I don't want him thinking that we are ashamed of them, because we are not.  We just don't want them to be the focus of him either.  Does anyone else have these types of discussions?

carissa_danielle

I guess I don't think of Layla's hearing aides like that. She has moderately severe hearing loss, so she needs them at all times. Although, she is a girl, so her hair covers her HA at all times, I wouldn't think twice about "hiding" them. I agree that they don't define a child, they are there to help. Some people will gawk, some will ask questions, some won't think twice about them. I would say to let your DS wear them proudly and emphasize how much they help. I think getting HA at a young age will help them(our LOs) adapt more, also kids they go to school with will grow up knowing that your DS has HA, and it will be normal to them. Hope that makes sense!

Assembly_Reqd

We are not to this point yet. Nate will be going to Maryland School for the Deaf when he is old enough to potentially care. Since a hefty percentage of kids their have aids or CI's this would be a non-issue for us.

Unlike glasses, hearing aids are just something that kids don't often see on their peers. They are naturally going to be curious about them. I don't think there is any way to avoid this. The hearing aids may actualy help with his shyness. They are a great conversation starter! Maybe he just needs to be armed with some great soundbytes..(Pun intended)

I think adults get a little bit more hung up on their child wearing aids then the child does. I know that I am always hyper-aware of them when we are in stores and am just waiting for someone to ask about them. It rarely happens. I think once the "newness" of seeing him at school with aids wears off, most kids will probably ignore them. I worry about middle school and teasing, but that is so far down the road that I am trying to focus on other things. I am interested in reading what other mommies have to say about this.....

sas05

I absolutely think that I am more aware of them than my child (especially now)...all he cares about are his cars, etc.  I think you are right that I am still in the "newness" phase, but I have been thinking a lot about confidence and just wanting him to feel good about himself. I notice when others notice them, but I am sure that goes away too...I never thought anything of/or noticed seeing other kids with hearing aids or glasses, etc. before my LO had to get them.  I think the other kids noticed them, asked about them, and now could care less about them:-)

 I guess I was just curious if any of you have received helpful advice in the past on helping with self-esteem, confidence, etc.  All I got from the dr's was to not try and hide them (nude hearing aids, etc.). 

Thank you!

sas05

carissa_danielle:

I guess I don't think of Layla's hearing aides like that. She has moderately severe hearing loss, so she needs them at all times.

I shouldn't say that he would be "fine" without them, as the hearing loss has had an impact on his speech...I just meant for a 30 min photo session, he would have been okay without them with us being so close and knowing to pump up the volume a little bit; but he wore them anyway

Happy2bNappy

I take each day as it comes, I just try to make him confident about himself as a person so that if and when that day comes he will be able to deal with it. His aids are dark brown for now because he is not able to choose yet and for me it is the best color for matching (I am kinda anal about my colors matching ) but when he gets older if he wants neon green thats what it will be.

In regards to his professional pictures, some I take them off and some I don't. I see his HA in the same light as glasses some people take them off for pictures and some don't. So I do whatever I feel like at the time.

Surprisingly most kids do not care here nor there whether another child is "different" or not it is the adults who are more guilty of that. One day I was in the grocery store with DS and this lady with her daughter who was about 5 or 6, the lady kept sneaking glances at DS, (this annoys me) the little girl walks up to me and said "he's cute". I am annoyed at adults who sneak glances, I really do prefer they come up to me and ask about whatever it is they are curious about.

Of course there are a few kids out there who are just plain mean and of course our kids will come across them but take heart in the fact that they are the exception rather than the norm and hope that they will be able to deal with it when it happens. 

thefuturemrskudla

Hi,

We leave Owen's aids on for all his pictures, etc.  He is 26 months and has had them since he was almost 4 months.

I have had questions from adults about how we knew he had hearing loss, since he's so young, but not yet from any kids.  I have had occasions to explain to some children, who seemed to be looking at them on the playground, at a store, etc., what they are and how they help Owen hear.

There are a lot of books out there for kids that feature characters w/hearing aids, and Oticon has Otto the Otter, who wears hearing aids.  There are also some cool accessories, like tube riders and ear gear. What brand of aids is your child getting?  The company's website probably has lots of information to help you.

 

toddandleah

As you can see from my siggy, we keep DD's Cochlear Implants on all the time, but they are a bit different than HAs because she doesn't hear a thing with them off.  It would me like me walking around without my glasses or contacts...I would totally be falling off curbs! lol  That said, we are very open about educating about CIs, making eye contact and smiling at those adults that steal glances, even just walking up to them and saying "hi!" then doing our short spiel about how awesome CIs are and how C lost her hearing to meningitis but we're blessed she is still with us and able to hear her world again.  It's short, and sweet and since we live in a fairly small community here in AK (under 10,000 people) the more people we tell in passing, the more aware the whole community becomes (everyone talks to everyone else...news and info travels fast) the less of an issue it will become.  

 In DD's preschool we educated her teacher and they took it from there.  Actually, we were very blessed with a teacher last year when she first got them who actively incorporated things like ASL and DD's Ling Sounds into the daily class schedule.  What DD needed to do every day (practice basic ASL and test her listening skills through the Ling sounds) were the new normal for everyone.  Now, most of her classmates ignore her "ears" but the teacher is ready to educate if someone new joins the group.

  I think it took us getting over being uncomfortable with the extra attention for it all to become a non issue.  We see the glances, more when we are traveling than at home, and just move on without taking it personally or being upset like I was at first.  C's CIs have been such a blessing, I take it as jealousy now instead of a morbid curiosity. :-P  In fact, a couple adults independently asked me where I got her "headphones" as if they were a cool techno gadget they should get for their kids. I laughed to myself after that.  I am so glad we chose the white, b/c they do resemble and iGadget, and in that way, blend into our new normal world.

erinvh05

Hi-

 This is actually the #1 goal of my DD's EI team.  I want to raise her to be confident and not feel embarrassed, etc.  She is about to turn 3 and some of the things we are working on with her teachers are:  teaching her how to explain her hearing loss/hearing aids to other children and teaching her how to advocate to teachers (I need to sit in the front of the room or Can you repeat that?  I didn't hear you.). 

I have gotten some comments from younger children (under 10) and some parents, but mostly people are just curious.  Parents want to know how we found out about her hearing loss, etc.  I make sure my DD hears what I am explaining and how I answer people's questions, so she knows how to answer them some day too. 

 According to DD's D/HH teacher, other kids will see hearing aids as "cool" and "interesting" until about 2nd or 3rd grade.  After that, kids will need to learn how to stick up for themselves and will need the confidence.  I know how hard it is to know that your child might get teased, etc.  But you've got time to give your son the right tools to gain confidence now.  Good luck!     

sas05

erinvh05:

Hi-

 This is actually the #1 goal of my DD's EI team.  I want to raise her to be confident and not feel embarrassed, etc.  She is about to turn 3 and some of the things we are working on with her teachers are:  teaching her how to explain her hearing loss/hearing aids to other children and teaching her how to advocate to teachers (I need to sit in the front of the room or Can you repeat that?  I didn't hear you.). 

I have gotten some comments from younger children (under 10) and some parents, but mostly people are just curious.  Parents want to know how we found out about her hearing loss, etc.  I make sure my DD hears what I am explaining and how I answer people's questions, so she knows how to answer them some day too. 

 According to DD's D/HH teacher, other kids will see hearing aids as "cool" and "interesting" until about 2nd or 3rd grade.  After that, kids will need to learn how to stick up for themselves and will need the confidence.  I know how hard it is to know that your child might get teased, etc.  But you've got time to give your son the right tools to gain confidence now.  Good luck!     

Thank you