I need more advice Re: DD2 not taking a bottle

TinaL99

I've avoided posting about this more b/c I didn't want to be annoying but I'm at a loss.  Audrey is having a terrible time taking a bottle for anyone but our in-home DCP.  MIL has her 3 days/week and she's lucky to get her to take 1 bottle/day.  I was out for a while on Saturday and DH struggled with it but finally got her to take ~3oz.  Yesterday we celebrated xmas with some of DHs family and FIL tried giving her a bottle thinking that if she took 1/day over the weekend it would be easier for MIL on Monday.  That was a fail.  And, even though I know they don't mean anything by it, people's comments are hurtful and frustrating.  Like FIL saying "What is it with you and that baby?" and MIL saying "Well we'll just send Audrey to work with you."  I love my ILs but I feel like I'm being made to feel bad for my decision to BF.  Is it selfish for me to continue and not try to wean her to a bottle?  She's with other people more than she's with me and her not taking a bottle stresses everyone out, including me.  Being a SAHM is not an option.

Today we're trying bottle #4 (Playtex VentAir...we've tried Tommee Tippee, Breast Flow and Nuk) and I took my Boppy and the shirt I wore to bed to MILs hoping my scent would help things.  I gave MIL our DCPs phone # so she can call if she wants to ask her for any tips.  I'll also be calling a LC today to see if they can give any other advice that I might not have thought about.

Thanks for letting me vent, I'm just so frustrated by the whole situation.

JenJar

I don't have a ton of advice, but I totally understand!  We've tried it all, too...  And, even though I am a SAHM, it's still stressful!  We've gotten to the point where I just know I have to take her with me to parties when I do them.  We've tried Born Free, Nuk, Dr. Brown's, Playtex, Adiri and Medela bottles...tried cup feeding...tried a feeding tube that she sucks on while sucking on our finger... nothing.  And hearing people tell me that she won't starve while I'm gone and that DH will just have to figure it out doesn't help at all!

Is DCP making it a different temperature?  Does she hold her, or is she in a bouncer/high chair/something to take the bottle?  Is it a quiet room? zwould a noise machine help?  If she takes it for DCP, I'd try to have ILs and DH mimic what she does exactly.  GL! 

NikCole

I have no advice, sorry! But does your DCP? If she is having luck I wonder why no one else is? Maybe have MIL stop by one day while the girls are there to watch her feed A?

Sorry you are going through this. It must be frustrating and heartbreaking too. Don't beat yourself up over it, and don't feel selfish for not wanting to wean... she is still so young and if BF is important to you then keep it up as long as you can!

MrsWhiteonWhiteSt

You're not annoying! It's tough! My IL's did the same thing. J liked his bottles super hot when I was bf'ing. Maybe like JenJar said, try a diff temp?

goosh24

Aw Tina, I'm sorry   My niece's did the same thing and luckily she was close by and just ran home during breaks to feed them, nothing ever worked.  I would find out step by step what your DCP is doing and have N try to exactly mimic that with you gone (since you know he wants to figure it out too).  Even figure out what Stella is doing while your DCP feeds Audrey, maybe that's somehow feeding into things.  I'm sorry I don't have much advice since J would never latch anyway and I EP'd so she always used a bottle but I know it's a hard situation.  

How is her weight?  It sucks that she won't take much on the days that MIL has her but as long as she's gaining and not acting hungry, I would probably try to continue BF'ing as long as possible.  

lawells15

First of all do not feel guilty about BF, I'm sorry she's having such a hard time. Could you try switching one feeding with you to a bottle feed? I really enjoyed BFing C and wouldn't trade it for anything. 

Is the flow on the nipples to slow for her? C would get frustrated with the slow flow. And also are you feeding her EBM or formula? 

Two*True

I agree with pps- do not feel bad for BFing.  You are doing everything you can.  Like pps said, does the DCP do anything different? temp? lights on/off in the room? noise, etc? 

TinaL99

And this is why I love you ladies, you always make me feel better!  I spoke to MIL and she got Audrey to take 2 bottles!  She actually wore my nursing tank, lol.  She's so funny.  Hopefully we've got it figured out and are on the upswing at this point.  Thank you again, everyone!

@ Goosh: She's gaining weight just fine as far as I know.  Her 4 month check up is after the first of the year but she's definitely growing...I just got her into some 3-6 month clothes and she has chubby cheeks!  Plus she's STTN so I know she's not starving.

@ lawells: She's getting pumped BM in the bottles.

@ JenJar (and others): A likes her bottles really warm and both MIL and DCP know this so temp isn't a factor I don't think.