Nerves!

MrsEllis10

Ok so when we found out we were expecting of course we were a little shocked, but we were very excited #2 was on the way. I have had a little bit of nerves because I am running daily situations through my head of how it will be with 2 so close in age, but I know I can handle it. I know it won't be easy, but I'm up for the challenge! 

We have started telling people and their reactions are making me a nervous wreck. Our families are so excited and its not their reactions. Its friends, co-workers and people like that.

They are just like OMG, how are you going to do it and are you going to be able to handle that?

I can't turn back now (not that I want to) so why on earth would you say that to me? Any advice on how to handle people that cant keep their pie holes shut? 

The "omg, you look like you are going to pop" or "omg your baby is big for her age" are easy statements to handle, but this not so much!

HELP! 

kagl08

My 2 are 13.5 months apart. While it's absolute insanity at the moment, I wouldn't trade it for the world! Having my kids this close is exactly what we wanted and it's amazing, exhausting and unbelievably fulfilling every day. We got those comments a lot when we 1st told people we were expecting. They were annoying and frustrating and we just let then slide. The famous ones were "wow, you're brave!" or "you are going to have your hands full" or "you guys are ambitious!" I always replied with "we are very excited and this is EXACTLY how close we wanted our kids to be... Thank you!

Then the comments died down and it became old news... Until I had DS. Now we get "you have your hands full..." a lot! It's annoying but I say, "yes I do... Literally, and I LOVE it!" That usually shuts them up. People will always have their opinions and unsolicited advice. Doing what's right for your family isn't always what others think is right. This spacing for our kids was 100% the right choice for our family. It works well for us. I consider myself blessed, while the others may consider me crazy, ambitious or stupid. It's all about perspective!

Congrats and H&H 9 months to you. You will love it!

MrsEllis10

kagl08:

My 2 are 13.5 months apart. While it's absolute insanity at the moment, I wouldn't trade it for the world! Having my kids this close is exactly what we wanted and it's amazing, exhausting and unbelievably fulfilling every day. We got those comments a lot when we 1st told people we were expecting. They were annoying and frustrating and we just let then slide. The famous ones were "wow, you're brave!" or "you are going to have your hands full" or "you guys are ambitious!" I always replied with "we are very excited and this is EXACTLY how close we wanted our kids to be... Thank you!

Then the comments died down and it became old news... Until I had DS. Now we get "you have your hands full..." a lot! It's annoying but I say, "yes I do... Literally, and I LOVE it!" That usually shuts them up. People will always have their opinions and unsolicited advice. Doing what's right for your family isn't always what others think is right. This spacing for our kids was 100% the right choice for our family. It works well for us. I consider myself blessed, while the others may consider me crazy, ambitious or stupid. It's all about perspective!

Congrats and H&H 9 months to you. You will love it!

 

Thank you so much! This is just what I needed to hear. While we weren't planning on them this close we weren't trying to prevent it either. I always wanted a big family and this is the start. Honestly, I would rather be chasing an almost 1 year old than a 2 year old while pregnant.  

Mr.&MrsS

Mine are 16.5 months apart and we got that a lot too. We planned it that way, and this was exactly how we wanted it.

One good response that I found on here, that I always liked was...When people tell you that you must have your hands full is to respond with, "Better full than empty."

I usually tried not to let the things people say get to me. I usually just smiled and laughed and said thank you when they told me I was brave. It is your family and you are the one taking care of the kids, so it really doesnt matter what others think about your decisions.

Will your life be hectic? Sure. Will there be times when you think you just might lose your mind? Probably more than once! But you will also get double the hugs, double the kisses, and double the snuggles and that makes all those hard days worth it. And I can honestly say, every day gets a little easier. I LOVE having my kids so close and I would do it again in a heartbeat if given the chance. I wouldnt change a thing. Actually, once my youngest turned 1, I started telling people it made my life easier to have them so close because they play and entertain eachother and I have time to get things done. You will be just fine!!

kcisthebombdotcom

I got that a lot from people too.

In retrospect, I've found it easier in a lot of ways compared to doing the more "traditional" 2-4 year difference. During my pregnancy I had a baby that still napped a lot vs chasing around an older more active child. My oldest was too young to be truly jealous and didnt mind the baby getting extra attention. I was still in baby mode when my youngest was born so everything was fresh in my head. Overall, I've found life very manageable with 2. I dont think any age gap is necessarily harder/easier-they all have benefits and downfalls and it depends on the personalities of the kids involved which is something you cant predict. Of all my friends, the one who had it the hardest was my friend who spaced 3.5 years between her kids. Her baby was fussy and her oldest still hasnt fully adjusted to the baby nearly 2 years later.

When the baby was born, I got a lot of the "wow you have your hands full!" comments. Now that my kids are nearly 2 and 1, I dont get those kinds of comments anymore.

Congrats on #2!

kagl08

MrsEllis10:

kagl08:

My 2 are 13.5 months apart. While it's absolute insanity at the moment, I wouldn't trade it for the world! Having my kids this close is exactly what we wanted and it's amazing, exhausting and unbelievably fulfilling every day. We got those comments a lot when we 1st told people we were expecting. They were annoying and frustrating and we just let then slide. The famous ones were "wow, you're brave!" or "you are going to have your hands full" or "you guys are ambitious!" I always replied with "we are very excited and this is EXACTLY how close we wanted our kids to be... Thank you!

Then the comments died down and it became old news... Until I had DS. Now we get "you have your hands full..." a lot! It's annoying but I say, "yes I do... Literally, and I LOVE it!" That usually shuts them up. People will always have their opinions and unsolicited advice. Doing what's right for your family isn't always what others think is right. This spacing for our kids was 100% the right choice for our family. It works well for us. I consider myself blessed, while the others may consider me crazy, ambitious or stupid. It's all about perspective!

Congrats and H&H 9 months to you. You will love it!

 

Thank you so much! This is just what I needed to hear. While we weren't planning on them this close we weren't trying to prevent it either. I always wanted a big family and this is the start. Honestly, I would rather be chasing an almost 1 year old than a 2 year old while pregnant.  

Chasing a 1 year old was so easy when pregnant!! She didn't start walking until 13 months. She dropped her 2nd nap and started STTN at 13 months too!! I actually was plenty rested when pregnant and never really felt overwhelmed. DD was still such a baby at that time. Then he was born, she started walking, sleeping and become a "big girl" and I actually got to enjoy it because I wasn't pregnant anymore. Plus my DD NEVER got jealous and I loved that! She doesn't remember life before DS (and neither do I really) and she welcomed him with kisses from the very beginning. I do suggest buying your DD a baby doll towards the end... That really helped my DD and that doll now goes everywhere with us.

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MrsEllis10

kagl08:

MrsEllis10:

kagl08:

My 2 are 13.5 months apart. While it's absolute insanity at the moment, I wouldn't trade it for the world! Having my kids this close is exactly what we wanted and it's amazing, exhausting and unbelievably fulfilling every day. We got those comments a lot when we 1st told people we were expecting. They were annoying and frustrating and we just let then slide. The famous ones were "wow, you're brave!" or "you are going to have your hands full" or "you guys are ambitious!" I always replied with "we are very excited and this is EXACTLY how close we wanted our kids to be... Thank you!

Then the comments died down and it became old news... Until I had DS. Now we get "you have your hands full..." a lot! It's annoying but I say, "yes I do... Literally, and I LOVE it!" That usually shuts them up. People will always have their opinions and unsolicited advice. Doing what's right for your family isn't always what others think is right. This spacing for our kids was 100% the right choice for our family. It works well for us. I consider myself blessed, while the others may consider me crazy, ambitious or stupid. It's all about perspective!

Congrats and H&H 9 months to you. You will love it!

 

Thank you so much! This is just what I needed to hear. While we weren't planning on them this close we weren't trying to prevent it either. I always wanted a big family and this is the start. Honestly, I would rather be chasing an almost 1 year old than a 2 year old while pregnant.  

Chasing a 1 year old was so easy when pregnant!! She didn't start walking until 13 months. She dropped her 2nd nap and started STTN at 13 months too!! I actually was plenty rested when pregnant and never really felt overwhelmed. DD was still such a baby at that time. Then he was born, she started walking, sleeping and become a "big girl" and I actually got to enjoy it because I wasn't pregnant anymore. Plus my DD NEVER got jealous and I loved that! She doesn't remember life before DS (and neither do I really) and she welcomed him with kisses from the very beginning. I do suggest buying your DD a baby doll towards the end... That really helped my DD and that doll now goes everywhere with us.

I am actually quite lucky. My DD has been STTN since 3 weeks old with the exception of the past few weeks with the crib transition, but thati s to be expected. She already has a doll we call "Lucy" and she sleeps with it, holds it, sings to it. It's so sweet.

Thanks for everyone's words of encouragement. It is greatly appreciated! 

sweetpea2003

Meh...  I have just learned to not internalize stuff other people say.  It isn't worth it, and most of the time, the people who say it aren't people who know what they are talking about anyway (people who don't have kids, don't want kids, spaced their kids 5 years apart on purpose, etc).

It doesn't end.  My DD is 2.5 and my son is 1 and we still get a handful of comments when we are out for the day.  Mostly the "oh wow! they are so close in age!  you have your hand's full, huh?".  I just smile and walk away.  Not worth engaging or internalizing people who don't have a filter.

The only time it ever really impacted me was when my husband was deployed (he was gone from May-December this year) and my mom was down visiting and helping me and said something like "I just don't know how you are going to do this for so long alone".  Thanks mom.  I don't have a choice.

MrsEllis10

sweetpea2003:

Meh...  I have just learned to not internalize stuff other people say.  It isn't worth it, and most of the time, the people who say it aren't people who know what they are talking about anyway (people who don't have kids, don't want kids, spaced their kids 5 years apart on purpose, etc).

It doesn't end.  My DD is 2.5 and my son is 1 and we still get a handful of comments when we are out for the day.  Mostly the "oh wow! they are so close in age!  you have your hand's full, huh?".  I just smile and walk away.  Not worth engaging or internalizing people who don't have a filter.

The only time it ever really impacted me was when my husband was deployed (he was gone from May-December this year) and my mom was down visiting and helping me and said something like "I just don't know how you are going to do this for so long alone".  Thanks mom.  I don't have a choice.

Exactly! I mean its like not like I could take it back, not that I want to at all, but why would you say stuff like this to make someone more nervous! RUDE RUDE RUDE!