18 months & Obsessed with BFing & Mom - Normal?

Mainer-in-Texas

So, for the past few weeks DD has been wanting to nurse all the time (and hardly eating any meat). We were down to twice a day, and now she wants to nurse 4-5 times a day.

And she's started rejecting my husband whenever I'm around. If he is reading to her, she will take the book away from him and bring it to me. Every time we get out of the car and he is carrying her, she cries and reaches for me. She won't let him put her down for bed. Last night, I was doing my medicine and DH was getting her ready for bed and she was hysterically crying, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" and didn't stop until I came in there and held her. Then she was totally fine and went right to sleep. But DH was obviously upset because he wouldn't talk to me for a while and was banging stuff around while we were cleaning up. He always says "Lily, why don't you like me anymore?" It makes me sad and I don't know what to do/say to make him feel better, other than, "I think it's just a phase because she's with me all day. I know she loves you. Plus, I'm sure this whole thing will be reversed in a year, and she'll want daddy all of the time."

So, are these two things normal? Are they related? If so how long does this last? DH is getting annoyed by the extra BFing and has said I need to think about weaning if she continues to eat less and nurse more (which I'm not sure I agree with, but I have started saying no sometimes).

ali-1411

I can't comment on the bf aspect but mommy/daddy phases are completely normal.  Layna goes back and forth between us but the mommy phases always last longer. 

Honestly, DH and I LOVE when she's preferring the other parent.  Its such a nice break.  Its exhausting to be the preferred parent, I don't get any joy from it.  

bluestreet

My middle daughter was a total mommy's girl at that age. It lasted until she was 3. DH was mostly amused by it, but I know it hurt his feelings a little. She was no longer bf-ing after 1, but that doesn't mean the two aren't connected in your case.

I don't know specifics about nursing frequency and nutrition after 1, so I hope the experienced extended bf-ers can provide insight. I will say that, barring nutrition issues, I think the most important thing at this point is how you feel about nursing frequency. Given her age, surely weaning your little strawberry won't irrevocably screw up her secure attachment. It's just a matter of whether it's cramping your style, and if you feel it's making it harder to physically connect to your DH. I know my sex drive is in the toilet when I bf (thank you, evolution), so that might be a consideration for me after a few months. GL!

august8080

DS went through this recently (we're just coming out of it) and I think it's really normal.

He LOVES my husband, mom and sister but he would cryyyyyy and cry if anyone else tried to feed him a meal, or do the bedtime routine, especially. Like once he hit the bathtub, if he lost sight of me for a second, he was inconsolable. 

I think, for him, it was a combination of a recent move, and the fact that I got pregnant and was trying to wean him. Obviously, that's not the case for you, but it could be a million reasons and I think it's really normal. 

If you're not ready to wean her, don't. If you don't want to give her the extra nursings besides the twice a day, then don't. When I was trying to wean DS, I would change up the routine a little bit (the routine he had always ass'd with nursing) and if he pushed it, I'd tell him we were all done with "nursey". If he really cried, I'd nurse him because I figured he'd get it on his own and I didn't want to completely traumatize him. And he did--we weaned over the course of about a month.

As far as nutrition, your milk is still offering her a ton of nutritional value, so I wouldn't let that be a factor in deciding how you want to proceed with BFing. If it hadn't been for my pregnancy (boobs so sore it felt like I was nursing a piranha and dried up milk), I definitely would have continued with the 3x/day nursing we were doing indefinitely. I enjoyed it and I know it brought a lot of comfort to DS (which is one of the reasons I think he went through such a mama phase as we were weaning). 

She may just be needing extra comfort and reassurance for some reason and it makes sense that nursing is the most comforting thing to her. 

m_and_m

Yep, totally totally normal! There are posts like this fairly often on the AP board. It will pass.