VBAC
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Hubby+Vbac (Vent)
So me and hubby kinda got into it tonight about me having another c-section v Vbac. He said it will be nice when they take baby at 39 weeks, just zip baby outta there. And I said no hopefully Vbac this time,he said "not to go there you are not going to try for a vbac". I told him we are going to talk to my doctor about it and he is dead set not to even mention it to my doctor. He don't even wanna talk about it anymore. He said Vbac is not safe cause the uterus is not the same and not strong enough..... I am ready to pull my hair about all this...
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Re: Hubby+Vbac (Vent)
Hubby has maybe been told some horror story by a coworker or something?
Bring it up to Dr next visit, I know DH is against it, but he needs to be aware of what you want and the reality of VBAC. Is your DH the type to do some of his own research now that he knows you want to try? On occation my DH will be against something I want, but after I tell him I want it, he thinks on it and checks out info on his own.
Umm, you might want to inform him that as it is your body and you are the one at risk during a c-section, you do have a bit of say in the matter.
You need to get him educated about the facts.
I don't come on here very much, but I wanted to say that my DH is very unsure of me having a VBAC as well. I don't know for sure if it is even an option, given the hospital I want to deliver at, but I want to be able to make the decision. Hopefully your dr can help to dispell the "horror" stories for you hubby.
As my doc said, giving birth is a risk no matter what.
Your DH is being ignorant and has obviously heard something from a friend and is taking their facts over yours. I agree that he needs to speak to the doctor. There is plenty of research to suggest that a uterus with a scar is just as strong as one without. And that the (very small) risk of rupture is still there even if you aren't in labor (or haven't had a c/s). You are three times more likely to die during a c/s and you should have a say on whether you are ok with that- not him. He cannot ORDER you to have a c/s. I can't even believe he'd rather you go through the risk of major surgery rather than let your body do what it was built to do.
I'm sorry he is behaving that way. Hopefully the doctor can talk some sense into him. Don't let him bully you over topics that he is not an expert in.
wow...i would be sure to ask hubby where he is hiding all his money! I mean since he is a doctor and knows ALL about a woman's uterus and the exact medical history of your vagina and uterus.
It is NOT his body! I swear!!! I hate when partners force their uninformed opinions on us. You speak to your doctor! I had one ob that was totally against v bac so i changed Ob's. Most ob's feel totally fine with the VERY LOW risks that are generally involved.
So basically you are expendable and your dh won't mind raising 2 kids alone, right?
But a c-section is so safe! Moms dying from c-sections are really rare!!! So is uterine rupture. So is a baby actually dying following a UR.
But let's tell this dad just how rare it is to die after a c-section: https://articles.nydailynews.com/2011-12-07/news/30488121_1_c-section-newborns-jay-snyder
Or these 2 dads: page 69 of this Amnesty Report: https://www.amnestyusa.org/sites/default/files/pdfs/deadlydelivery.pdf (there are plenty of other stories in there too
)
If you analyze the data from Dr Landon (who looked at over 18,000 VBAC attempts in a 2006 study), the overall risk of UR is 0.7%. This includes women with non-low transverse scars, women who were induced or received pitocin to augment their labors and women attempted VBAC after 2, 3 or 4 c-sections. The NIH determined that the risk of a baby dying following a UR is only 6%.
Soooo.... using Landon's data and the NIH's information:
The absolute risk of neontal death is 0.08% with a TOL vs 0.05% in an ERCS; stated otherwise, the risk of neonatal death is 1 in 1250 babies with a TOL vs 1 in 2000 with an ERCS .
The absolute risk of maternal death was 0.04% with an ERCS vs 0.02% with a TOL; stated otherwise, 1 in 2500 mothers will die due to an ERCS vs 1 in 5000 mothers will die with a TOL
If you commit to laboring without any help (induction, pitocin, etc), your risk of a UR drops to 0.4% which further lowers your risk of neonatal death but doesn't do squat for your risks during a c-section. The fact is that you have no risk free option so you need to do what feels best for you.
Here's another good one for the fathers:
https://vbacfacts.com/2011/11/07/a-father-says-why-invite-the-risk-of-vbac/
You need to make him think it's his idea for you to at least try for a VBAC. Make up horror stories about women who have had RCS and suffered terrible consequences. But you have to be smart about how you deliver the story. Say you bumped into someone (a stranger) at work, or some other place, the playground, and they took interest about your pregnancy, so you began to make small talk and mentioned how you were going to have a RCS, and how they then told you the story of their close friend who... something really bad.
After you tell the story, don't say anything about how want a VBAC, just say that this made you a bit nervous.
Then you can also look up statistics on the risk of RCS, print them out and read them in front of him. When something seems shocking or worrisome, read that out loud to him.
Good Luck
ps under different circumstances I would never suggest a person should ever manipulate their partner, but I think he should at least be open to the idea of a VBAC and that you both should come to the decision, he maybe just needs a little nudge.
For me I showed him Matt Logelin's blog. It isn't a RCS but it drove home the risks of c-sections and made him much more open to the idea.
He was supportive of me making the decision just nervous about the idea of a VBAC (we aren't pregnant yet though).