Welcome to the Age of Overparenting

Sofka

https://www.bostonmagazine.com/best_places_to_live/articles/the_age_of_overparenting/

I used to go to an overnight camp every year for a whole month and I loved it!! I started at age 7 or 8 and back in the old country, it was free. So glad I had a chance to experience that.

 

Artslvr

Posted this on FB secretly hoping that a certain FB friend of mine reads it.  The part that talks about parents overparenting for themselves, not really for their kids - so totally true in the case of one mom I know.  She's a mess, so she smothers her only child (and is "friends" with her kid) and the child is going to turn 10 and is THE most fearful child I've ever seen.  She needs her mommy constantly and mommy needs her.  It's so...  unhealthy.  Not that I think she'll read this article and suddenly see the light, but who knows. 

But to own some of this - I do tell my kids "good job!" an awful, awful lot. 

mcatmay

This is a great, great article - and my secret fear is that i'll be that mom ;-) DH always tells me to 'let the kid breathe already'... i'm working on it :-)

Amy&Steve0421

As far as the praise goes, I think the book Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline has a good approach.  She says what kids truly want is to be noticed.  So you are supposed to describe what they are doing -

Example - You are walking down the stairs all by yourself!  I see you!

This is supposed to help the kid appreciate his/her own accomplishment.  I try to do this as much as possible - but I admit - "good job" still pops into my vocabulary like a conditioned response;0

That book also talks about the need for unity vs. the need to be special.  It makes a good point that you want to raise your child to feel part of a group - not as though they are better than the group and therefore the rules don't apply to them.  It was an intersting take, I thought. 

I do recommend that book - my only problem w/it is that it is too theoretical at times.