Addressing mail to a blended family

Dochas

I'm full of questions today!  My DH's friend is married and his wife has children from a previous marriage who live with them.  They are older teens and friend and wife have one child together.  How should I address the envelope?  Is "Smith Family" rude when I know the boys aren't "Smiths"?  Should I just put friend's name on the envelope "John Smith"?  I'll put all of their names inside the card.  Thanks!

schmoodle

We have a similar family (DH's cousin and wife have one child together but his wife has teens from a prior marriage). I've always addressed to the X family (DH's cousin's last name). It never even occurred to me that the teens have a different last name (I've never met them or anything, they didn't come to our wedding and haven't been at various family events).

ETA: And by "never occurred to me" I mean I hadn't though through the entire family and respective last names, not that I thought they would have the same last name. Obviously once I thought about it I know that's not the case.

cjsbdl

I have a couple of situations like this on my mailing list. In this case I would put "John & Jane Smith & family." Not sure if that's the "correct" way to address it, but it works for me.

MrsMAF

Hmm, I'm in a blended family but the kids all have same last name because they are DH's, but my suggestion is to put John & Jane Smith and family.

 

EastCoastBride

I've run into 2 situations:

1- the mother never changed her name, I write "The Smith/Jones Family"

2- blended family - just last night I wrote "The Smith and Jones Families".

KYRN

I think you could address it Mr. John Smith and family or Mr. & Mrs. Smith and family, I also don't think it's considered rude to put The Smith Family.

My mom's brother died and his wife remarried.  My aunt and uncle have a grown son that lives with the aunt and her new husband (he has down syndrome).  I address the card to "The New Husband Family".

superned

I didn't change my last name when I got married, so to me, I always notice and appreciate when someone addresses something to "The Smith-Jones" family and not just to the "Smith" family.  I don't necessarily think it's rude when people only use DH's name, but we've been together for almost 15 years, so I think most people know that we have different last names and it makes me slightly annoyed when mine gets left out.

In your situation, if the teens live with the family as their primary residence and you know their last name, I would do the Smith-Jones" family.  If it's not their primary residence and/or you don't know their last name, I do "Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family."

MonkeysGirl05

cjsbdl:

I have a couple of situations like this on my mailing list. In this case I would put "John & Jane Smith & family." Not sure if that's the "correct" way to address it, but it works for me.

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Dochas

Thank you - I'll go with X and Y Smith and family.  I'm probably overthinking but I'd hate to leave someone out. 

I would feel bad if I addressed something as Mr & Mrs. and offend someone who hadn't changed their name.  It happened with our wedding invites because my husband just assumed every woman changed her name. 

ALY1981

MonkeysGirl05:

cjsbdl:

I have a couple of situations like this on my mailing list. In this case I would put "John & Jane Smith & family." Not sure if that's the "correct" way to address it, but it works for me.

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Agreed! ( I come from a very blended family. )

epphd

Probably not Emily Post's method, but DH and I have different last names (Sam has DH's last name) and for our return address we use "My last name/His last name".  So in your case you could use "The Smith/Jones Family".

KYRN

Dochas:

Thank you - I'll go with X and Y Smith and family.  I'm probably overthinking but I'd hate to leave someone out. 

I would feel bad if I addressed something as Mr & Mrs. and offend someone who hadn't changed their name.  It happened with our wedding invites because my husband just assumed every woman changed her name. 

That's funny, I'm sure my DH would assume the same thing.  We had a new Dr start at the practice I work for.  He's married to a Dr and she didn't change her name.  He seemed VERY shocked that I had changed mine as if it were more common to keep your name than change it or that everyone they know keeps their maiden name.  If I had gotten married later in life (I was 22) and had already established myself as a nurse practitioner and pt's knew me by my maiden name I might have considering keeping or hyphenating. 

ela81

My BFF has a son from when we were young and now she's married and just had a baby I addressed her card to V & A Last name and under it I put her boys first names. I loved seeing my name on mail when I was younger...my how things change;)

krissyh21

My friend has children from a first marriage and children from her current as well. Her address labels read The Jones and Smith Family.