Huge rant. Big warning. Its too much.

millejj1

Ahh, I see I am a bitter meaniehead. To quote my husbands grandmother..bless your heart. I'll reply to each of your points below.

SHABLIE:

so because you bitter because you went through the SAME loss as me makes it okay for you to tell me what i am?

No, my ability to function as a mature adult makes it ok for me to call bullshit on your antics. This isn't the pain or loss olympics, this is a talking to about adult behavior.

if you had read or paid attention to this it was a cry for help because i dont know what to do. i wanted to know if anyone has been in a situation where thing were going perfect and you had everything you needed. my life wasnt like this when we wanted to have a baby. and i want and love my child just as much as you want and would love yours. i honestly dont have a whole bunch of insulting things to say to you because i can definintly use the negativity that you  posted on this (my cry for help) as proof that you yourself cant handle having a child because of your outburst due to having a bad day. what are you going to do when your child is having the same kind of day/life as me? are you just going to insult them and put them down?

This is a lovely gem. I told you what to do as did the many other posts. Get to a women's center, and get your business handled. Internet stranges can't fix your problems. We can't hold your hand and make things appear. You have to take the steps to fix it.  I'm not going to blow smoke and rainbows up your arse to make you feel good about yourself. As far as my bad day making me respond this way, I've actually had a rather good day thank you, that doesn't mean I can't be bitter about nonsense like this. I should have clarified better. So sorry.Thanks for asking though.

As to your question about what happens as to what I would do with my child..well I can't predict the future, but I'd like to think that as a parent I wouldn't allow my child to find themselves in this predicament. I'd like to think that they would have more common sense than that. And if they did find themselves in a sh!tstorm. I would give them the same talking to I did you and then drag their rear end down to the county offices to get things squared away so my grandchild wasn't jeopardized. That's right, I'd be mean and I'd do it because I loved them. Life is hard, you've got to be tough.

second you obviously dont know what its like to have to bust your butt because i have a time line and hormones and all of those great things plus the lack of support from the very small community i live in.  

Oh, I don't know what it is like to bust my butt you say. Are you stalking me? Have you known me my whole life? I certainly hope that answer is no. Let me just bring you up to speed on "busting my ass"

• Paid my own way through college and bought everything I've owned in life- Check
• Had multiple physical and mentally abusive exes that left me literally battered, broken, and devastated- Check
• Had so much emotional scarring that I almost pushed away my husband because I couldn't handle it out of fear, not to mention the battles I still fight today because that stuff lingers.- Check
  
• Had to work THROUGH my miscarriage and act like I wasn't bleeding so bad I wanted to disappear so I  could fake it for my coworkers- Check
• On that note- essentially go through a miscarriage with little to no support in real life due to the fact that no one but my husband knew I was pregnant- Check

I could keep going but it's not worth the effort. Don't even waste my time with that pitiful of an insult. I've crawled through the mountain of sh!t, pulled myself up and kept going even when I wanted to die and have since come out the other side. Your "you don't even know" won't do squat to my self esteem.

 

every single one of the women who posted on this besides you had things to say to try and help me. not insult me or the things i can or cannot do.

Read again sweetheart. I know the ladies on the board that feel the same way as I do. we've been through hell together.

also id like to point out that me and my boyfriend dont seperate because we fight to much. we seperated because of the stress of living together while not having the things we needed.

That should be a clue that he isn't good for you, if you don't have what you need he should help you get there, not be someone you have to separate from. That's a whole different story though. 

would hate for any of you to be in the same position as me because im not some homeless lady who decided to have a kid for attention. im a girl whos wanted a baby her whole life, found the man i love and want to have a family with who wants one with me as well who planned our child after loosing one (so i have every right to be in the pregnant after loss, unlike you.)

your the kind of person who makes women scared to ask questions or tell their story because of the negative things they will get in response. what exactly in your post did you say that might help me? nothing but insults and honestly i dont think that makes you a responsible person at all none the less a good parental figure for your children in the future. 

I never said you were homeless, I called you out for not having your sh!t together, you don't, truth hurts. As for me not being responsible, one of us is gainfully employed in a career, one of us is in a happy marriage handing affairs before having a baby, one of us isn't whining about not being able to go get government support because she can't find the paperwork, one of us is paying her own way through life. Here is a hint. It's not you. just reread my response to not knowing about busting my ass, that's called responsibility. Your pitiful little insults aren't going to do much to me. I know my self worth. Thanks for trying though. Would you like a consolation prize?

good luck with being bitter. good luck ttc. but maybe you shouldnt lurk in places you dont belong. go back to your bitter board. 

When I said I'd leave if people wanted me to, I meant the ladies on the board that aren't sniveling little brats. I expected you to tell me to go. From the looks of it though according to their responses, I'm welcome to stay.

karma79

SHABLIE:

i regret posting anything like this about my life to random strangers who are just going to sit there and judge me instead of trying to help me out. thank you to those who had something to say that was supportive. but i kind of just lost my respect for all of you who agreed with the woman who was just slandering me from having a "bitter day" 

i needed help and you just want to insult me. all of the things she said to me werent helpful and honestly just hurt my feelings and made me feel like i can NOT turn to this board for help. its sad that all of you are so cruel. i think finding a different message board is nessisary. i see women all the time getting attacked on here and i try to say supportive things to those women so they dont feel so shitty about their already shitty situation.

thank you so much for instilling the trust in myself that i needed by just insulting me. 

I'm not having a bitter day and I totally 100% agree with what was said to you. You are blinded by justifying and making excuses for making poor decisions that you can't see what a ramble of nonsense you wrote. You blame everyone else, even a social disorder for your misery - you need to grow up and get yourself together. This is what all the posts of support are telling you, they are just doing it nicely. Some of us aren't so nice when we see someone who is acting irresponsible and feels entitled to the world taking care of them.

I have sympathy for your loss and I hope you can get it together for this baby. But as a responsible adult who works full time, pays their house, car, medical bills and waited to be established to start a family - well I guess maybe you should thank ME and the others on this board for supporting you.

kevinandmonica2011

karma79:

SHABLIE:

i regret posting anything like this about my life to random strangers who are just going to sit there and judge me instead of trying to help me out. thank you to those who had something to say that was supportive. but i kind of just lost my respect for all of you who agreed with the woman who was just slandering me from having a "bitter day" 

i needed help and you just want to insult me. all of the things she said to me werent helpful and honestly just hurt my feelings and made me feel like i can NOT turn to this board for help. its sad that all of you are so cruel. i think finding a different message board is nessisary. i see women all the time getting attacked on here and i try to say supportive things to those women so they dont feel so shitty about their already shitty situation.

thank you so much for instilling the trust in myself that i needed by just insulting me. 

I'm not having a bitter day and I totally 100% agree with what was said to you. You are blinded by justifying and making excuses for making poor decisions that you can't see what a ramble of nonsense you wrote. You blame everyone else, even a social disorder for your misery - you need to grow up and get yourself together. This is what all the posts of support are telling you, they are just doing it nicely. Some of us aren't so nice when we see someone who is acting irresponsible and feels entitled to the world taking care of them.

I have sympathy for your loss and I hope you can get it together for this baby. But as a responsible adult who works full time, pays their house, car, medical bills and waited to be established to start a family - well I guess maybe you should thank ME and the others on this board for supporting you.

  

mundayem

millejj1:

When I said I'd leave if people wanted me to, I meant the ladies on the board that aren't sniveling little brats. I expected you to tell me to go. From the looks of it though according to their responses, I'm welcome to stay.

I PPH you mille! I wish you would come around more often.

karma79

mundayem:

millejj1:

When I said I'd leave if people wanted me to, I meant the ladies on the board that aren't sniveling little brats. I expected you to tell me to go. From the looks of it though according to their responses, I'm welcome to stay.

I PPH you mille! I wish you would come around more often.

THIS! Love you!

millejj1

mork:

SHABLIE:

i regret posting anything like this about my life to random strangers who are just going to sit there and judge me instead of trying to help me out. thank you to those who had something to say that was supportive. but i kind of just lost my respect for all of you who agreed with the woman who was just slandering me from having a "bitter day" 

i needed help and you just want to insult me. all of the things she said to me werent helpful and honestly just hurt my feelings and made me feel like i can NOT turn to this board for help. its sad that all of you are so cruel. i think finding a different message board is nessisary. i see women all the time getting attacked on here and i try to say supportive things to those women so they dont feel so shitty about their already shitty situation.

thank you so much for instilling the trust in myself that i needed by just insulting me. 

Babygaga is eagerly awaiting your membership. Bu-bye. 

Ahh you're leaving, I have a friend that can show you out! Just follow his rainbow.

roxyttandme

Lurker here... Hope you ladies don't mind me posting... but his OP makes me want to pull my hair out! 

First of all, I am sorry for your loss.  

Secondly, why is it you think it is everyone else's responsibility to take care of you????!!!! O.M.G. You and I IRW are archenemies!!! You clearly have entitlement issues. Why is it you are ttc when you have never had a job, your boyfriend barely has a job and you are slumming it at your parents house? Grow.Up. I am sorry if I am going over the line here... but you have no business trying to conceive with what is clearly the intent to have the government take care of you. Where is your honor? Where are you morals? This whole post (although really tough to follow) makes me want to pull my hair out. How is it everyone else's problem to take care of you? 

 :::walks away::: 

:::going off to drink a now dearly needed glass of wine and may even a cig:::: 

dnhosking

pottermommy:

Well.....This just got crazy out of hand didn't it.....

First she did give advice, it may not have been what you wanted to hear it may not have been step by step, and it may have been in hindsight but she gave advice. 

Second all we can do is tell you what you already know.. You know you need to get medical care...You know you need to figure out your ID situation...You know that before this baby comes you need to get your life together..We can't tell you more than that.  We don't know all the rules at your local medicaid office, we don't know if you have planned parenthood or a crisis pregnancy center or something like that..We dont' know. We can't tell you if you do, but all those places are there to help., they don't cater to just adoption or abortion or anything they are simply there to help EVERY pregnant person who needs it no matter what.  They do not send anyone away. 

Third, we all get wanting a rainbow after a loss.  After different kinds of losses and we all embrace EVERYONE who comes here.  No matter the question no matter the issue.  We answer questions everyday.  Even questions from people wanting to know "how to deal" with friends going through what we did.  We are happy to help and it is one of the few things that make it feel like there was a purpose to losing our babies.

Fourth, and understand I don't think I have ever, ever blasted anyone on this site.  If I have I didn't mean to but...You can't come on here and expect universal understanding.  These women including you have lost the most precious thing possible and it took thought and tears and trials to get to where we are or where we want to be.  I am NOT bitter!! I am NOT resentful!! I burried my daughter as a toddler and I said goodbye to my baby I never met and I try to help anyone who crosses my path and these women try to do the same thing.  TTCAL is NOT a bitter board.  They are desperate, phenominal mothers without the baby that they long for and NONE of them deserve to be spoken to or about the way you have done!!

You came here! We didn't search you out.  You posted here and we responded.  You can't bash someone here for answering with their opinion.  You asked for one and she gave one.  If you understand what and who we are then you know that this kind of post or outcry rarely happens here.  So it obviously isn't us.

Potter - you say things so well.

SHABLIE

well since im incompetent and cant do this according to all of you. i guess the only thing i can do is get rid of my child. i mean its the only choice i have since ill just kill them anyway.

TnG05

SHABLIE:

so because you bitter because you went through the SAME loss as me makes it okay for you to tell me what i am?

if you had read or paid attention to this it was a cry for help because i dont know what to do. i wanted to know if anyone has been in a situation where thing were going perfect and you had everything you needed. my life wasnt like this when we wanted to have a baby. and i want and love my child just as much as you want and would love yours. i honestly dont have a whole bunch of insulting things to say to you because i can definintly use the negativity that you  posted on this (my cry for help) as proof that you yourself cant handle having a child because of your outburst due to having a bad day. what are you going to do when your child is having the same kind of day/life as me? are you just going to insult them and put them down?

second you obviously dont know what its like to have to bust your butt because i have a time line and hormones and all of those great things plus the lack of support from the very small community i live in.  

every single one of the women who posted on this besides you had things to say to try and help me. not insult me or the things i can or cannot do.

also id like to point out that me and my boyfriend dont seperate because we fight to much. we seperated because of the stress of living together while not having the things we needed. i would hate for any of you to be in the same position as me because im not some homeless lady who decided to have a kid for attention. im a girl whos wanted a baby her whole life, found the man i love and want to have a family with who wants one with me as well who planned our child after loosing one (so i have every right to be in the pregnant after loss, unlike you.)

your the kind of person who makes women scared to ask questions or tell their story because of the negative things they will get in response. what exactly in your post did you say that might help me? nothing but insults and honestly i dont think that makes you a responsible person at all none the less a good parental figure for your children in the future. 

good luck with being bitter. good luck ttc. but maybe you shouldnt lurk in places you dont belong. go back to your bitter board. 

 

You can say what you want but everything she said is true and not insulting or negative you just have a chip on your shoulder (so add that to you list of thing to take care of). 

Also FWIW, you have no clue what situation anyone here has worked through to get their stuff together.  

As far as go back to the bitter board...really everyone has been either ttc or ttcal so that last comment is uncalled for.   

VikingQueen

noah-bear:

SHABLIE:

good luck with being bitter. good luck ttc. but maybe you shouldnt lurk in places you dont belong. go back to your bitter board. 

I'm going to go ahead and give you two big middle fingers. That's one of my closest friends you just said that shlt to.

You were annoying, now you're just a bltch. 

This exactly... Milliejj, Noah thanks for putting everything that was in my head into words, love yall

kellbelle618

SHABLIE:

well since im incompetent and cant do this according to all of you. i guess the only thing i can do is get rid of my child. i mean its the only choice i have since ill just kill them anyway.

noah-bear

SHABLIE:

well since im incompetent and cant do this according to all of you. i guess the only thing i can do is get rid of my child. i mean its the only choice i have since ill just kill them anyway.

A-DOP-TION

Wow..... 

candacek31

SHABLIE:

i regret posting anything like this about my life to random strangers who are just going to sit there and judge me instead of trying to help me out. thank you to those who had something to say that was supportive. but i kind of just lost my respect for all of you who agreed with the woman who was just slandering me from having a "bitter day" 

i needed help and you just want to insult me. all of the things she said to me werent helpful and honestly just hurt my feelings and made me feel like i can NOT turn to this board for help. its sad that all of you are so cruel. i think finding a different message board is nessisary. i see women all the time getting attacked on here and i try to say supportive things to those women so they dont feel so shitty about their already shitty situation.

thank you so much for instilling the trust in myself that i needed by just insulting me. 

I usually keep my trap shut on stuff like this but REALLY????  I have been here since July and have NEVER seen any of these ladies attack another PGALer.  I don't know what posts you are looking at, but they certainly aren't on PGAL.  We support each other.  I have never seen you lend support on this board.  Nor have I ever seen an intro from you or any other post on PGAL.  Don't expect us to just jump up and hold your hand through something that you need to learn how to do yourself.  Get a grip and some common sense.  Seriously.

kevinandmonica2011

SHABLIE:

well since im incompetent and cant do this according to all of you. i guess the only thing i can do is get rid of my child. i mean its the only choice i have since ill just kill them anyway.

GTFO yourself.  Your woe-is-me BS just hit a whole new low.  NO ONE said anything about "getting rid of" your child.  Or that you would "kill them anyway"...  as a matter of fact, you'll probably have a smooth pregnancy, simple delivery and then go on to have about 6 or 7 more kids.  You know, the more you have the more money you get from the government anyway, right?

You're ignorance is unbelievable.

LoveOfMikesLife

SHABLIE:

well since im incompetent and cant do this according to all of you. i guess the only thing i can do is get rid of my child. i mean its the only choice i have since ill just kill them anyway.

you probably should give the baby up for adoption! You are a perfect example of why kids shouldn't have kids!

SHABLIE

your a *** idiot if you think that i would let what *** strangers had to say make me get rid of my baby. 

millejj1

SHABLIE:

well since im incompetent and cant do this according to all of you. i guess the only thing i can do is get rid of my child. i mean its the only choice i have since ill just kill them anyway.

ahh I see my assessment of troll was correct! 

CashewsMommy

SHABLIE:

well since im incompetent and cant do this according to all of you. i guess the only thing i can do is get rid of my child. i mean its the only choice i have since ill just kill them anyway.

 

Do you know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin, and it's playing just for you.

CashewsMommy

SHABLIE:

your a *** idiot if you think that i would let what *** strangers had to say make me get rid of my baby. 

Gracie?? Is that you?? 

kellbelle618

CashewsMommy:

SHABLIE:

your a *** idiot if you think that i would let what *** strangers had to say make me get rid of my baby. 

Gracie?? Is that you?? 

kevinandmonica2011

SHABLIE:

your a *** idiot if you think that i would let what *** strangers had to say make me get rid of my baby. 

  Holy begeezus, woman!  You are the genius who suggested it.

A-FREAKING-DOPTION.  

For the love of all that is good and holy.

VikingQueen

CashewsMommy:

SHABLIE:

your a *** idiot if you think that i would let what *** strangers had to say make me get rid of my baby. 

Gracie?? Is that you?? 

it has been a while..

kellbelle618

SHABLIE:

your a *** idiot if you think that i would let what *** strangers had to say make me get rid of my baby. 

WOW. You are the one who suggested that, not us.

VikingQueen

She makes us younger women who have their *** together look bad... ::sigh::

millejj1

kellbelle618:

CashewsMommy:

SHABLIE:

your a *** idiot if you think that i would let what *** strangers had to say make me get rid of my baby. 

Gracie?? Is that you?? 

 

karma79

SHABLIE:

well since im incompetent and cant do this according to all of you. i guess the only thing i can do is get rid of my child. i mean its the only choice i have since ill just kill them anyway.

This is further proof that you are not ready and need to grow up. You are stomping your feet because you aren't getting the ars-kissing you think you deserve. People gave you advice and a reality check. Now please go and take care of this child you are carrying and take care of yourself. 

CashewsMommy

Since we're on the topic of you. Can I just say that your response to this post re: Michelle Duggar's m/c was disgusting!!! 

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61111816.aspx

 

SHABLIE:

thought number one: called it.

 

thought number two: should have happened sooner.

 

thought number three: it probably happened before.

1 in 4 pregnancy ends in a miscarriage. thats all. and its not a negative thing.

DIS-GUS-TING!  

kellbelle618

CashewsMommy:

Since we're on the topic of you. Can I just say that your response to this post re: Michelle Duggar's m/c was disgusting!!! 

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61111816.aspx

 

SHABLIE:

thought number one: called it.

 

thought number two: should have happened sooner.

 

thought number three: it probably happened before.

1 in 4 pregnancy ends in a miscarriage. thats all. and its not a negative thing.

DIS-GUS-TING!  

Wow. That is awful. I can't believe anyone who has had a m/c would say that about another woman miscarrying.

pottermommy

SHABLIE:

well since im incompetent and cant do this according to all of you. i guess the only thing i can do is get rid of my child. i mean its the only choice i have since ill just kill them anyway.

 

Wait Wait Wait!!!!!!

NONE of us would ever EVER accuse someone of killing their child!! NEVER!! We ALL have seen or felt a child's death and you are nothing but a self absorbed child yourself!!! No matter your age no matter your situation!!

NOR would we say GET RID OF your child.  YOu child is amazing!! IT IS A BLESSING A GIFT A MIRACLE!!! Let me tell you that a child for any one including people who don't care for them or think to get things in order before they try for them are precious amazing gifts!!!

You who think you know everything about all of us because we were honest let me tell you right now that EVERY child is not here for eternity so when someone brings one into the world and is careless and disrespectful for the maturity motherhood takes.  Guess what PRINCESS THIS ISN"T ABOUT YOU ANYMORE!!! 

It is a slap in the face that my perfect daughter is dead and people get to be careless and go into parenthood with their eyes closed and get perfect babies that they will always have and my daughter is DEAD!! And your posts are rude and insincere and immature!!  You aren't ready for a baby and guess what you are getting one!!

You are getting a perfect, beautiful baby and you don't even know what to do with yourself.  We are angry because you are a slap in the face to all of us who have done everything right and still have turmoil and sorrow. 

I am sorry you lost your baby NO ONE desearves that YOU DIDN"TCAUSE IT!! We NEVER said you did or said anything about killing your baby but guess what everything you have said is SELFISH and shows that no one else matters like you do right....I think you need to learn how to talk to people before you type out your little screwed up fairy tale.

mork

Alright, I love when the old post call-outs start!  ((sits down with popcorn))

LoveOfMikesLife

CashewsMommy:

Since we're on the topic of you. Can I just say that your response to this post re: Michelle Duggar's m/c was disgusting!!! 

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61111816.aspx

 

SHABLIE:

thought number one: called it.

 

thought number two: should have happened sooner.

 

thought number three: it probably happened before.

1 in 4 pregnancy ends in a miscarriage. thats all. and its not a negative thing.

DIS-GUS-TING!  

Wow you really are a douch! If I was your BF I'd have kicked your @ss out too!

VikingQueen

CashewsMommy:

Since we're on the topic of you. Can I just say that your response to this post re: Michelle Duggar's m/c was disgusting!!! 

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61111816.aspx

 

SHABLIE:

thought number one: called it.

 

thought number two: should have happened sooner.

 

thought number three: it probably happened before.

1 in 4 pregnancy ends in a miscarriage. thats all. and its not a negative thing.

DIS-GUS-TING!  

Holy effin sh!t are you kidding me???

SHABLIE

welcome to the world of reality checks. and i posted right under it saying that ,y post wasnt intended on being negative because i worded that wrong. miscarraiges are negative but the facts arent. and its true. it probably has happened, probably will again because shes a baby factory, and if it didnt happen before then it should have not because she shouldnt have children but because its just the facts. if you have 20 children how many misscarrige were there before? i dont care if you think its disgusting. its fact. 

millejj1

mork:

Alright, I love when the old post call-outs start!  ((sits down with popcorn))

Can he join you?

mundayem

mork:

Alright, I love when the old post call-outs start!  ((sits down with popcorn))

I'm with you on the popcorn. The OP is either a troll or a total fvcking idiot, either way this is getting good.

Oh and for sure you are a total douchcanoe OP for your comment about Michelle Duggar.

CashewsMommy

SHABLIE:

welcome to the world of reality checks. and i posted right under it saying that ,y post wasnt intended on being negative because i worded that wrong. miscarraiges are negative but the facts arent. and its true. it probably has happened, probably will again because shes a baby factory, and if it didnt happen before then it should have not because she shouldnt have children but because its just the facts. if you have 20 children how many misscarrige were there before? i dont care if you think its disgusting. its fact. 

I'm mainly talking about thought number two: should have happened sooner. 

SHABLIE

saying anything otherwise is coddling. which all of you seem to have a problem with to begin with so whats the big deal about me saying something realistic. and true. backed up by fact.

mundayem

SHABLIE:

welcome to the world of reality checks. and i posted right under it saying that ,y post wasnt intended on being negative because i worded that wrong. miscarraiges are negative but the facts arent. and its true. it probably has happened, probably will again because shes a baby factory, and if it didnt happen before then it should have not because she shouldnt have children but because its just the facts. if you have 20 children how many misscarrige were there before? i dont care if you think its disgusting. its fact. 

Do even know what the definition of a fact is?

VikingQueen

SHABLIE:

welcome to the world of reality checks. and i posted right under it saying that ,y post wasnt intended on being negative because i worded that wrong. miscarraiges are negative but the facts arent. and its true. it probably has happened, probably will again because shes a baby factory, and if it didnt happen before then it should have not because she shouldnt have children but because its just the facts. if you have 20 children how many misscarrige were there before? i dont care if you think its disgusting. its fact. 

Some women have plenty of pregnancies without having a miscarriage. My Grandmother had 7 pregnancies and no losses.. statistically she should have had atleast one, maybe two, but thankfully never did. The fact that you "called it" is what makes it disgusting and the fact that you think it should have happened sooner does also.

edit: clarify and add