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3rd Trimester
TobleroneBar
member
serious post of advice
TobleroneBar
member
I've had both an episiotomy with DD and I tore with my DS.
No matter what story the OB has told you about tearing...please please please opt for the episiotomy if you need one. DO NOT let them tear you!! Sex will NOT feel the same way again.
OB told me after I had the Epi with DD that tearing is the better option. She even proved her case with me with a piece of paper. it's BS and I wish I hadn't listened. It's been over a year and sex still doesn't feel right.
However, I know there is someone who will chime in and say "no it won't"...fine, everyone is different but many other girls have relayed the same issue. Sex is not the same, it can be painful...
just sayin
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Re: serious post of advice
Everyone is totally different. I pushed for 3 hours with DD, she had to be vacuumed out, and I tore "from hole to hole" as I like to say. The doctor stitched for an eternity.
I healed with absolutely no problem, and no pain meds. I felt absolutely fine after a couple days. Sex hurt the first time or two after birth (duh), but felt completely the same once I'd totally healed.
You know you're wrong to post things like this.
I had a 2nd degree tear with my son two years ago, and after 6 months everything was back to normal. Everything healed. The scar has receded and sex is not painful for me.
If something still "hurts", something is wrong with you and you should go to your doctor instead of trying to upset people.
It's not nice for you to try and scare people like this.
I agree with the above that say everyone is different so it's not fair to try and scare people like this. You should speak with your doctor about this.
I know three people that have torn and they said it feels the same for them after the appropriate healing time. I don't know anyone who has had to be cut except my mom because they don't really do it that often anymore. Granted, I haven't asked my mom how sex felt after
Aaaah hahahaha, This....is....totally.....WIN!<3
Dammmmit. Cruel, I'm sick of you beating me. ::runs out of post flailing arms::
In general, tearing is better. How exactly do you know that sex would feel the same if you had the episiotomy the first time? Also, you know that they didn't tear you, YOU tore, right?
bahahahahahaha
Hey, I was just trying to help induce labor.
It's like freaking someone out with hiccups
DD1: allergic to eggs & dairy
c/p 4/1/11
DD2: milk and soy protein intolerant, allergic to eggs, soy, peanuts, tree nuts, sesame, bananas
MSPI Moms Check-In Blog
Did you ever stop to consider that sex is different now simply because you've had 2 kids?
Stop telling the rest of the world that your personal experience will be everyone's experience.
I understand that the OP is trying to be helpful. Maybe a poll would be more useful. I know women that didn't tear or have an episiotomy and it took over a year for sex to feel anywhere near what it used to.
My experience: 2nd degree tear. Waited almost 3 months to have sex. Things were extra tight and uncomfy, but not painful. I gradually went back to my norm. Sex is the same as before. My DH claims that it feels tighter down there, and it definitely was in the beginning, but I think it's about the same as pre-pg.
Advice/warnings can be helpful. When someone wants to have sex early after a tear, I tell them it's better to give it time to heal. My OB said wait 4 weeks. I had an IUD placed at 4 weeks, and guess how well my tear had healed? Still not healed, but better. Glad I didn't do that. Ouch.
Toblerone- I hope you do have a discussion with your OB. It's what I would do, if I were in your shoes. I really hope that things get better with this issue.
being a slore has nothing to do with it...I had great accoustics before I tore.
you are just being caddy!!!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can also use them as a form of discipline if they get out of hand. Use the big ones though, they heat up quickly.
it's okay, I've been called worse... it's true, sex hasn't been the same...with a 2nd child I have no time for fisting exercises... this has nothing to do with me having a vag skin tag.
"IT's in THE HOLE!!"
My theroy is correct! TB=The WORLD! Those Bump gods win again!
tootie farkin fruitie you are abs correct!!! Damn so bummed I missed you at the GTG!!!
I'm scared of you. I heard that your vag can whistle the Andy Griffith theme. No pants+hairdryer and you have a one woman band.
BTW I pph you. Let's be IRL friends soon.
That being said, we had sex between 5-6 weeks pp and yes, it was painful. Sex was painful until 12 weeks pp. Since 12 weeks pp, everything is good in that department.
So, as other posters have pointed out, everyone's experience is different. I absolutely hope to avoid an episiotomy again.
Episiotomies have been found in study after study to be more harmful than tearing, so I think I will stick with the PROVEN studies rather than your anecdotal advice.
That said, if you want anecdotal- I had a 3rd degree tear with a long and difficult recover and I am just fine now. ::shrugs:: See how that can go both ways?
Studies show that it takes 2 solid years for your body to fully recover from giving birth. Considering you are only one year out, I would give yourself another year and see how you are feeling.
I tore and have no problems with sex. I would talk to your dr.
I was pretty adamant about not having an episiotomy but my Dr. had very different views. When push came to shove she preformed the episiotomy anyways and slit me from my V to my A be for I had the chance to tear ( according to my doula & delivery nurse ). I wasn't so concerned about the sex PP as much as I was of pooping out of my vagina hahaha.
I plan on tearing ( if it is to be so ) this time around and just seeing what happens.
P.S. The healing process took about 6 weeks for me
and was not a comfy one. ( no sh*t right I had stitches in my V regardless of how they got there they aren't comfy )
This was quite the thread to read on the day I decided to lurk on the third tri board....
I'm sorry that you're having difficulties, but that doesn't mean you should be telling women to get episiotomies. It sounds like you need to talk to your doctor about what's going on with your body.
What are you some kind of super serious doctor or something?
PS: they cut me... across the abs. It healed wonderfully. I cannot complain.
I missed this through all the muck... like I said, I've had BOTH so I'm the expert here...NOT you.
They just make you feel like it was your fault you tore...but the really do tear you! be warned
No. You're both wrong. The baby is the one who tore you because babies are douchebags.
I'm sorry you feel this way. I tore with DS, got stitched up, never had and episiotomy (and hope I never do!!) and I gotta say, my husband and I have awesome sex.
I will say that it took a while for the sex to get good again but that was mostly from breastfeeding dryness. as soon as I started ovulating again and having periods, sex was completely back to normal for us.
I totally didn't do my stretches...now I feel like a virgin every time. I miss my accoustical crotch.
ps I also made this post so some can boast about their most awesome sex lyfe just to prove me wrong...on a forum...
good. because mine is AWE. SOME.
though if fisting helps with birth then maybe I'm missing out on something here...
I like you...