Hi, pretty new to the bump but 34 weeks and excited about seeing our baby girl, however the last few days my depression has gotten really bad again. The 1st trim. was so bad I had to stop working, second tri. was much better, but back in 3rd its getting tougher. I'm on citalopram(generic of celexa) and abilify, and I know its just safer for me to be on it than off. But The past week or so it just seems like I cant pick myself up when I get down. I have family coming in for the birth(mine) and very stressed about that. I dont have a good relashonship with them; they make me so stressed out cuz they look down on everybody and no matter what I do I am never good enough (I'm the black sheep of the family). I keep having dreams where I'm yelling at them.
I can't wait to see my daughter and happy to have her, and I have an amazing husband who helps me so much, but I am so worried about what kind of mother I will be. I don't want my daughter to ever feel like she is unloved or has to live her life a certain way to have my love. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll be too mean or too leniant and just want to be a good parent. I know I can't be perfect, but I want her to grow up loving me....does that sound so terrible? I just dont want her to grow up the way I did...so unhappy all the time.
Sorry for the very long post and hope some of you ladies can relate...it will make me feel not so crazy.