need some comfort
Hi, pretty new to the bump but 34 weeks and excited about seeing our baby girl, however the last few days my depression has gotten really bad again. The 1st trim. was so bad I had to stop working, second tri. was much better, but back in 3rd its getting tougher. I'm on citalopram(generic of celexa) and abilify, and I know its just safer for me to be on it than off. But The past week or so it just seems like I cant pick myself up when I get down. I have family coming in for the birth(mine) and very stressed about that. I dont have a good relashonship with them; they make me so stressed out cuz they look down on everybody and no matter what I do I am never good enough (I'm the black sheep of the family). I keep having dreams where I'm yelling at them.
I can't wait to see my daughter and happy to have her, and I have an amazing husband who helps me so much, but I am so worried about what kind of mother I will be. I don't want my daughter to ever feel like she is unloved or has to live her life a certain way to have my love. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll be too mean or too leniant and just want to be a good parent. I know I can't be perfect, but I want her to grow up loving me....does that sound so terrible? I just dont want her to grow up the way I did...so unhappy all the time.
Sorry for the very long post and hope some of you ladies can relate...it will make me feel not so crazy.
Re: need some comfort
I've got nothing to say about your family coming and stressing you out. Sounds like you need to set some boundries now and blame it on the pregnancy hormones if it'll make them accept it without a big fuss.
The fact that you are worried about being a good mother means your heart is in the right place. I bet every good mom out there will say they have the same worries. All we can do is our best! Being aware of what you don't want to be should help you keep yourself in check from any bad habbits you picked up from your parents.
Here's a ~hug~
I am so sorry you feel this way. If you want your daughter to having a great childhood then she will. You worrying like this already shows how much you love her.
Ugh, screw your family, you about to have your own. when your daughter looks at you and smiles, it will be all the validation that you need.
As for your worries....every mom feels this way, it will all work out.
And of course she will love you, you are her mom.
Something I learned about family and friends is that
yes.... they have opinions... No, their opinions dont matter. If they stress you so much, why are they allowed to come visit for your birth? Tell them to wait until LO is a couple months old or something. And kick them to a hotel.