OH Crap labor vent!!

Elisha Shick

The Oh Crap Im going to have a baby in a few weeks hit me today after my doctors appointment. I want to go natural as long as possible if not all the way. Im starting to get scared that i cant handle the pain, or i just cant handle labor at all, and going to be freaking out on everyone. plus im not sure how my husband is going handle things. hes a layed back person and very quiet, not really sure how hes going to reacked to the hospital,me being in labor. through the whole pregnancy hes been pretty muched standing on the side lines of things, so will see how he does with it all. glad we are going to have really good family friend with us though the labor processes. Im the kind of person that likes to know what is going to happen next and learn as much as possible from it. plus im some what a planer, and you cant really plan labor or know whats really going to happen next. its just really scary to me at this point. plus im not to big on someone telling me what i have to do, and screaming at me or trying to make me go another way. I dont want to get to the hospital and have nurses or doctors pushing me to take a epi. if i cant handle it any more i want to be the one that says okay i tryed now give me the drugs. and when it comes to labor god i hope no one even thinks about screaming at me to push, let me do it, encouarge me all they want but dont scream or push things on me to have it done there way. sry about this vent dont really have anyone to talk to about it. just scared of all the unknow coming up,

MesmrEwe

Deep breath - and relax!!! 

A lot of what you're worried about is what happens in the movies/TV, not the real world!! 

All you have to do is put the basics in your birth plan...  Be realistic, just say please do not ask me if I want any pain medications, I will ask you when the time is right (such that you aren't opposed to them completely but you want to go as long as possible without them)...  Also, put a note about your DH's personality...  When I had DD the main reason I got the epi was because DH was not tolerating labor well and it was a choice of either I get the epi or he gets a room of his own and a shot of anti-anxiety meds. 

That said, remember the L&D staff do this daily and there may come a point when white-knuckling it for not wanting pain meds can actually be working against you allowing your body to relax properly to do its job, so be ready to also listen to them on recommendations to help you through L&D.  Other than when I was in arching pain for a NBR complication on Labor Day weekend the L&D staff/doctors never pushed me to take medications and even then, they were fine with letting me let things wear off to test if it was the medications taking care of the problem or if I was actually getting better.  They would have respected my choice either way, but remember, you're the patient, no one touches you unless you consent.  The more flexibility you go in with the better chance you'll have of having an "enjoyable" (can't really say enjoyable because L&D is what it is) of an experience as possible for you and your body. 

tahitiandreamin

I can't really add to PP but I just wanted to say that I could have written your post!  I'm a total planner and I really want to do things naturally.  DH is totally laid back and just going with the flow.  I've made him sit down and start reading The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin because I've pointed out to him that there will be times in labor when I cannot take charge and I will not be able to answer questions.  I will need him to stand up for me and be forceful when necessary.  I've spoken with him a few times about how important it is for me that he keeps his cool and knows what's going on because I will be relying on him.  I may need him to make emergency decisions when I cannot.  DH has been able to see why I don't want meds or intervention and he sees the risks as a result of our prenatal classes, the book and our discussions.  The book has been helping him see what his place in labor will be because I have told him that I do not want a doula... I want DH and that having only him and my midwife with me during labor will be what keeps me calm.  

Maybe talking to your DH and trying to get him to see the reality of what might be taking place during labor will help both of you.

 

tiffapotomus

MesmrEwe:

Deep breath - and relax!!! 

A lot of what you're worried about is what happens in the movies/TV, not the real world!! 

All you have to do is put the basics in your birth plan...  Be realistic, just say please do not ask me if I want any pain medications, I will ask you when the time is right (such that you aren't opposed to them completely but you want to go as long as possible without them)...  Also, put a note about your DH's personality...  When I had DD the main reason I got the epi was because DH was not tolerating labor well and it was a choice of either I get the epi or he gets a room of his own and a shot of anti-anxiety meds. 

That said, remember the L&D staff do this daily and there may come a point when white-knuckling it for not wanting pain meds can actually be working against you allowing your body to relax properly to do its job, so be ready to also listen to them on recommendations to help you through L&D.  Other than when I was in arching pain for a NBR complication on Labor Day weekend the L&D staff/doctors never pushed me to take medications and even then, they were fine with letting me let things wear off to test if it was the medications taking care of the problem or if I was actually getting better.  They would have respected my choice either way, but remember, you're the patient, no one touches you unless you consent.  The more flexibility you go in with the better chance you'll have of having an "enjoyable" (can't really say enjoyable because L&D is what it is) of an experience as possible for you and your body. 

This. A lot depends on the hospital and whether or not you make your birth plan available to both the day and night staff. I made copies for both and had my doula reiterate my plans to the nurses. I only had one nurse that was kind of a B and kept pushing me to have a c-section. When I refused she said "well you're at risk anyways." BS I asked her to remove herself from the room and requested another nurse. After that everything went very well. No one screamed at me to push ( I have never really heard of that happening anyways ) and instead of an epi they asked if I would want to try demerol instead to help me relax and get me through the contractions without not feeling them. Just keep in mind you make the call not them, unless it is a matter of life and death...or serious injury lol.

kg_08

It will be ok! I am a list person... I like all my ducks in a row and I like to know far in advance exactly what's going on. Because of this, I did all the research I could on different labor experiences, what could possibly happen, etc... I prepared my self for the worst, and therefore my labor was not as bad as I had "expected". I had 20 hours of back labor which did suck. I was puking and shaking from the pain, but I made it to 7 cm met free, then just took 1 shot of Nubain.. which I hated and will never do again. For some people it works, but for me it just made me loopy and out of it and I hate not being in control.

Just stay calm, tell nurses ahead of time what your plan is, and that you want all of them to talk in calm voices with no yelling. I didn't have that problem at my hospital though, there was no screaming from anyone.

I wasn't sure how DH would do, but he was great! He did whatever I asked him to do, like pushing on my lower back, spraying me with water in the tub, and putting an ice cold cloth on my head while I was pushing because I was burning up. I can't think of anything else he could have done to help me more than he did!

 

Elisha Shick

Thank you, i relized how crazy all that sounded after i posted it lol.. im still scared and will most likely be till its all said and done. my DH said last night he will do anything he can to help me through labor, which made me feel a little better. thanks agine.